The sense of safety is right here (4 min read)

Is your head, too, spinning from all the statistics of Covid19, videos of ghost-hunter-ish men on duty, suggestions on which masks to use which makes no sense, and articles on how to become more resilient and cope with working from home? It makes me feel disoriented.

A few days ago, I listened to a webinar of brain science and one thing spoke to me loudly – this is not a time for complex things or deep digging. Our brain is in such a messed-up state that it needs simplicity, some new routines and habits, focus on tasks for a short period, rest, start over.

So, I thought, what could be the simple way to regain some sense of safety in these times of uncertainty? And the answer was right here – people. Or more precisely – our relationship with our “tribe”.

Reduce uncertainty by being frank

Recent research has confirmed that uncertainty is more stressful than knowing something bad will happen. The brain hates not to be in control. Above the uncertainty of the current situation of pandemics, too often we are the source of uncertainty for people whether it be our personal life or work. According to David C. Wingar, the author of “Brainsights” we unwittingly or even purposely hold back information that could relieve their uncertainty. We don`t consider how few words, response to an email or text, a frank conversation about what we are thinking or planning, might improve that person`s life and help them avoid unnecessary stress.

We can`t control the Covid-19, but we can put an effort, to be honest and direct with those around us. Increasing the scale of things that are clear will decrease stress even if we can’t completely remove uncertainty. You have the power to contribute to certainty by simply being you.

Stay connected

When we are uncertain about our future, we tend to seek refuge in our relationships. Our need for connection becomes even stronger. According to Kelly McGonigal, the author of “The Upside of Stress”, during stress, your body releases oxytocin to motivate social connection. Its primary function is to build and strengthen social bonds. It also strengthens your most important relationships by making you more responsive to others. You may notice yourself paying more attention to others or being more sensitive to other`s feelings. While social isolation is applied in most of the countries during the pandemics, follow the instinct to connect, even if with 2m distance or virtually.

For more than a year I have new neighbors. We didn`t find a chance or wish to get to know each other. Today with a safe distance they handed a bunch of balloons to my twins. And so, we have connected at times, when technically we should be disconnected. It felt good.

Take in good

The last simple thing to do, to gain back some sense of safety – when you have a positive experience today, let it sink in. Turn positive facts into positive experiences! Good things happen even now when virus and economic crisis is in the air. We just often do not notice them. Rick Hanson, in his book “Buddhas Brain” suggests “Savor the experience! Make it last for 5, 10, 20 seconds. The longer that something is held in awareness and the more emotionally stimulating it is, the more neurons that fire and thus wire together, and the stronger the trace in memory”. Most of the time, taking in good takes less than a minute. But over time, you really can build new, positive structures in your brain, which will contribute to feeling safer.