Selma

In a world full of suspicion, mistrust and every kind of negative -isms, I was deeply touched by Selma's kindness. To be taken literally and wholly without doubts. With trust. With kindness. It is so beautiful.        

A few months before leaving Porto, I started applying to the student residence in Bayreuth, Germany. After the application season, I discovered it was just me and Rose (a colleague) who did not get accommodation. With zero German language skills, I launched into the strange accommodation market called WG-Gesucht.

WG is a flat-sharing platform where people go to look for available flat shares; someone advertises that a room is free in their apartment. They specify the kind of person they are looking for. If anyone is interested, they contact the advertiser and make a pitch about how they are the best thing that has ever happened to humanity. Afterwards, if the advertiser like the written pitch, they call the person for an interview and ask other questions. A few of my haphazardly written pitches translated with Deepl left some impressions and I got some interviews. It did not eventually work because I was going to stay a short time. I was neck deep in this situation when a colleague told me a room will be available at Selma's. I contacted Selma with half hope. I've been at this stage many times already. Selma told me the room would be announced soon on the WG platform so people can apply and she will let me know when it is. So, I gave up on it because I have had the same response in the past.

I moved on to try other options without results. When it was obvious that two weeks to school resumption, I still have not found a place, I took a place I got in a nearby small town about 50 minutes’ drive from Bayreuth. The day before I left Porto for Germany, Selma contacted me that the room has been advertised and I could get on an interview. I obliged and the next day, while I was preparing to move out of my room, I had the interview. There were three persons on the call, all living in the apartment. They told me about the situation of the apartment and that they also have a friend who would like to take the house, but they think it would be good to still have the interview to give others a chance. It was right in the centre of the town, 15 minutes from school.?They had so much in common, they were all vegan, and I was the exact opposite of what a vegan should be. They cook together, share meals and have a general timetable for making food. After listening to one another and our values and ways of life, it was going to be a long shot -for me and them if I decide to live there. We were different in so many ways than one. But we had an interesting point of connection too -they spoke about mental support and having a co-shared space with people that can live as a family and who shared some basic values. I thought that was kind. I told them I appreciated it, and that I had already signed a contract with someone. But I also told them I was really worried about travelling an hour every day to Bayreuth.

Right on the call, Selma and the other flatmates decided that it was indeed going to be a tough journey to school every day. They were not decided if I was the best candidate for them for the long term, but they were willing to give me the room for one month while I search for a closer place to school. Even though the room was not available until the next month, Selma was willing to move in with one of the roommates while I occupy her room. I drifted through the conversation with deep thoughts. Between my thoughts, I heard them having conversations on the call; making plans for me, and adjusting their lives within minutes of speaking with me, to accommodate a stranger a thousand miles away. I told them I would have a conversation with the first person I signed with if he is fine with cancelling the contract. They also thought It was a good time to live with them and see if we can stay together.?Later, I contacted the man I had earlier signed with and he was kind to let go of the contract and keep my luggage until I am ready to come to get it. I contacted Selma afterwards that I would like to take the one-month offer.

?Without saying anything much afterwards, Selma took over every other thing. "Hey Yemisi, since you will get to Nuremberg at midnight, d'you need a place to stay for the night? Basti's family stays there. He is willing to come pick you up at the airport" "Hey Selma, thank you so much. I am with a colleague and I would not feel comfortable leaving only her at the airport at midnight " Hello Yemisi, I just spoke to Basti and he is willing to pick the both of you from the airport and also offer you a place for the night at his family home". Basti also stays at the WG.

Selma picked me up at the Hauptbahnhof when I got to Bayreuth and took me to the house. Her room that she has now vacated had a sign at the front where she had written in different languages “Yemisi Welcome to our WG” Everything feels unreal. That night when we all sat in the dining and I asked them how to pay. I had the greater shock. They told me they had decided to offer me this one month free. That I should not bother about the pay because it's just Selma's room anyway, the available room Is not officially taken. I was shocked beyond words. I tried to offer some protest about it, but Selma, Kathy, and Daniel laughed at me trying to protest.

I found a sublet in school and moved out after a month to allow the other lady who was their good-time friend occupy the place. To be honest, she was more fitting. Also, I have met Priscilla and you cannot not love Priscilla. She has to be the sweetest Latino I ever met. That home became a huge part of my experience in Bayreuth and now. For context, I only moved to France with my winter luggage and left everything else at their place. It became my go-to place. I was invited to every party and it became my stay each time I need a place to stay for a night in town. Selma has escorted me on trips to Nuremberg and come back.

Two days ago, I got a lovely family reunion picture, and I was the only person (and Daniel) missing from that picture. It was one of the most beautiful and gentle acts of kindness I received in Germany, and this year generally. In a world full of suspicion, mistrust and every kind of negative -isms, I was deeply touched by their kindness. To be taken literally and wholly without doubts. With trust. With kindness. It is so beautiful. This story and many others like it inspire me immensely. It is a debt to be repaid to others. And I am immensely grateful for the gift.