Selling Sunsets – Do you have to stamp all over everyone to climb to the top?

Are you watching the Netflix hit Selling Sunset?

If you are not, please promise me if you do one thing in the next week, give it a watch.?You will not regret it! But don’t let it stop you reading this – this is spoiler free commentary.

If you are watching it, oh my lord … the wedding, the zebra, the $40 million dollar house, Amanza and, of course, ring-gate!

In a nutshell, Selling Sunset follows a group of female real estate brokers who work for the Oppenheim Group, showing millionaire clients around some of the best and most expensive properties in Los Angeles. Mix this with the drama of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and you have a smash hit! Trash TV that keeps you hooked whilst feeding your habit of viewing lush houses.?It is gold.

Part of what makes any of these shows popular is the on-screen chemistry, storylines and ‘bitchiness’ of the cast.?And Selling Sunset gives you several females to make your own opinion on.?No seriously … if you type “Selling Sunsets B***h” into your Google Search you have mainly one cast member named constantly, but it scrolls on to online debates about why we hate certain characters on it.?

Now, whilst I don’t want to get into a rant on online trolling (and for some of these professional, established and attractive career driven women, the comments made on them have been pretty shocking), it does bring up the age old debate – does being a b***h in business get you ahead?

We can all picture it.?The Devil Wears Prada??The female on that TV show (The Apprentice / Dragons Den etc, – delete as appropriate), we have heard she’s a nightmare to work for? Perhaps even a female manager or colleague you have worked with before?

Selling Sunset shows these glamorous females backstabbing, talking about each other behind their backs, having direct and hurtful conversations in front of the whole office (and all of this whilst, quite frankly, no work seems to get done. Anyone else noticed that?).

Obviously, this is played up to the cameras, but where does being mean at work get you??All the way to the top or on lunch by yourself for the rest of your career?

Women in business, especially male dominate environments or organisations where the corporate ladder was designed with a male skills base in mind, are constantly being given messages on how they should or shouldn’t act.

What Works for Women at Work?authors, Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey, discuss the “tightrope” women walk between “appearing too feminine, which undermines their credibility and stymies their opportunities for advancement and acting too masculine, which makes their male counterparts think they lack social skills.”

·????????Women should highlight their achievements more… but don’t show off!

·????????Women shouldn’t focus on making friends in the workplace if they want to get ahead, that’s just gossip mongering… but make sure you have allies in the right places.

·????????Stop saying ‘yes’ to everything that is asked of you… but she said ‘no’ to what I asked.?Who does she think she is?

·????????Don’t be too direct, it will sound rude.?Offer to coach instead but careful not to micromanage.

·????????Women tend to talk too much. Be more to the point, use straight talking language… however she just sounds mean.

·????????Don’t ask for feedback, it can be seen as needy.

·????????Don’t offer feedback, because no one asked your opinion!

Directive language, being assertive, claiming your achievements and sharing your knowledge.?Does it make you a b***h?

If you are shouting across the office, being rude and rolling your eyes as you demean a colleague then, yes. None of this is okay.

But being direct, using effective language, sharing knowledge and suggestions in the right time in the right way does not make you a b***h.?It makes you an empowered female that knows what to do, when to do it and perhaps most importantly how to do it.

Listen, I work in recruitment and have done for a long long time.?A stereotypical sales environment where you hear all about bitchy females (probably similar to the caricatures created on Selling Sunset).

However, from experience I can tell you that most of the females (though admittedly there are a few exceptions) are just hardworking women who are confident, they get their message across, they are non-apologetic, they tend to do well against targets and dare I say it … they are often better than the male counterparts in their space.

So, what is my conclusion this week??Well put it this way, I am off to throw on some red lippy, own my assertive bad ass self in a positive and productive way and get myself ready for Season 3 of what is possibly the best trash TV programme ever.?Let’s see if the bitch is back.

Selling Sunset season 4 is available on Netflix now and previous seasons are available to watch.?Go check it out (she says in a directive tone!).