Sell with Subtlety: The Ambivert’s Guide to Persuasion

If you’re not in Sales, you may think that selling is not in your remit. On the contrary: a core outcome of any influence skills training is winning people round to your way of thinking.

This is true whether you’re an Engineer, a Software Developer or a Product Designer.? I’m not about to rouse you into flogging your wares like a market stall holder but to reveal how you can have people ‘buy’ from you – think ideas such as processes, designs. Even if you’re technical, you’ll probably need to actually sell something.

Using your communication skills to drive the behaviour of others is more effective when it’s based on trust to build longer-term relationships. Because trust is accumulative, when you’ve won them round once, even with the smallest of actions, they’re more likely to do buy into your ideas again.?

How do you do it without being ‘salesy’, though?

The good news for the less outgoing of us is that research by Organisational Psychologist, Adam Grant, has shown that it’s the ambiverts (those who are neither extremely introverted nor extroverted) are statistically more likely to close a deal than those at either end of the scale. This applies equally to commercial transactions as it does to more abstract outputs like processes.

The success of ambiverts in influence and persuasion is down to the way in which they blend the enthusiasm to persuade with the ability to show empathy thereby demonstrating a flexibility in their communication style.

The 13 phrases show ambiversion in practice, with the research behind them if you care to delve.

What Ambiversion Sounds Like:

There’s a balance of phrases that are both assertive with those that demonstrate a willingness to listen.

1. “What if you could…?”?– Opens up possibilities without pressure. – Connection: This aligns with Jonah Berger’s research on explicit endorsements, showing that suggesting possibilities can enhance trust and demonstrate expertise.

2. “Just imagine…”?– Helps the customer visualize the benefits. – Connection: Relates to the effectiveness of vivid imagery in making concepts more relatable and persuasive.

3. “Some people wonder if…” / “You might be wondering…” – Addresses potential concerns proactively. – Connection: Reflects Grant’s work on ambiverts, who blend empathy and enthusiasm to address concerns effectively.

4. “Most people feel…”?– Normalizes their feelings and builds trust. – Connection: Supported by research on empathy and dealing with implicit objections to foster trust and rapport.

5. “How would you feel if…? – Connects emotionally with the customer. – Connection: Emotional connection is key to the ambivert advantage, blending enthusiasm with listening skills.

6. “What would it take for you to feel comfortable with…?”?– Shows willingness to meet their needs. – Connection: Demonstrates the ambivert advantage of flexibility and tailored communication as well uncovering implicit objections.

7. “I understand that…”?– Validates their feelings and shows empathy. – Connection: Supported by research showing how active listening is directly related to trustworthiness.

8. “Have you considered…?”?– Gently introduces new ideas. – Connection: Questions such as this invite self-persuasion. This is the process of driving others to generate their own arguments for a course of action, markedly more successful at? overcoming resistence.

9. “What’s stopping you from…?” or “What’s in the way of…” – Identifies barriers to address. – Connection: ? ??Effective at uncovering objections, which is critical in ambivert sales strategies

10. “How can I help you with…?”?– Offers support directly. – Connection: Tied to research about fostering a sense of partnership to enhance collaboration.

11. “Let’s explore this together…”?– Creates a collaborative atmosphere. – Connection: Collaboration enhances rapport, a key trait ambiverts use to succeed in sales.

12. “What do you think about…?”?– Invites their opinion and fosters engagement. – Connection: This phrase exemplifies empathy and adaptability, qualities ambiverts use to close deals.

13. “I recommend…”?– Invokes an elevated level of knowledge and expertise. – Connection: Based on Jonah Berger’s findings, explicit endorsements demonstrate stronger persuasion due to perceived authority.

Developing communication skills that balance assertiveness with empathy is key to selling your ideas effectively, whether you’re in sales or not.?Ambivert-style communication makes this possible by blending enthusiasm and adaptability to foster trust and collaboration.

Your Actions:

Start small:

1. Pick three phrases from the list that resonate with you;
2. Practice them during conversations, focusing on where they naturally fit;
3. Reflect on their impact and refine your approach for future interactions.

By following these steps, you’ll build lasting relationships, successfully ‘selling’ your ideas – without actually having to ‘sell’.

Want to know how to motivate and persuade with effective communication skills training? Drive action through enhanced influence skills. I’ve a variety of solutions for you or your people.

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