Selfless Leaders Rest: Applying Hal Donaldson’s "What Really Matters”

Selfless Leaders Rest: Applying Hal Donaldson’s "What Really Matters”

Hal Donaldson is the CEO of Convoy of Hope, a global nonprofit organization that works with communities to address root causes of poverty and hunger through its disaster relief services and community development programs. After shadowing their disaster relief operations this summer, I was left fascinated by their strategies to empower local organizations to be a source of hope at the moment of a disaster. Hal’s book, “What Really Matters: How to Care for Yourself and Serve a Hurting World”, was gifted to me after a volunteering event and has significantly impacted my perspective of leadership.

Leaders are selfless when they rest

Leaders demonstrate selflessness by taking the time to rest, as it allows them to recharge and regroup, enabling them to continue making a meaningful impact. Without sufficient rest, they risk burning out, losing sight of their mission, or lacking the energy needed for consistent performance. Hal notes, “burnout is the result of misplaced priorities.” By prioritizing rest, leaders can maintain their effectiveness and dedication to their goals.

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

We’re not meant to face crisis alone

“Being vulnerable to the right people can be difficult, particularly if you’ve been betrayed or if you’re a leader under constant scrutiny”. A leader shouldn’t feel compelled to hide their wounds and scars as doing so would likely not lead to a short distance of healing. Our inner desire to carry one another’s burdens reflects the way we’re wired with an innate need for community. We’re not meant to face face crisis alone, but often, especially as leaders, we desire to show how strong we are by masking reality. I interpret this lack of transparency to open the door to division and lost trust in the leader because their followers can sense the lack of authenticity.

Who are the people in my car?

Hal shares how he is so considerate that even in drive-thru lines, he doesn't like to be an inconvenience to the other cars behind him. His daughters have learned that they have a very short time to decide their meal before he orders for them. He realizes though, that when he does this he is being inconsiderate of the people in his car. I often experience this in my leadership as I overburden myself to serve people outside of my influence. When I do this though I unintentionally neglect the people who are my duty to serve and therefore hurt their development as future leaders.

Your mission does not exempt you from the consequences of not caring for yourself

Weakening your health, damaging your relationships, extending working hours with caffeine, etc. are all Band-Aid solutions that make us a bigger target under attack. “Living in obedience to your duty often requires personal sacrifice but not all the time.” Sacrifice and selflessness in their extremes can invite unwise decisions and personal injury so “common sense and self-care are still critical pieces of the equation.” Even if the mission and outcomes are noble, the price we pay may not be the one required or intended.

Compassion vs Selflessness

Hal shares that compassion can be a feel good event or activity with values of hope and sacrificial service, but selflessness is a lifestyle of service to others. Leaders need to be cautious of potential "self-destruction" if selflessness is equated to personal sacrifice. "Selflessness in the extreme strongly resembles pride or martyrdom" so we need to avoid wearing it as a badge of honor. To quote CS Lewis, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.”

Unbridled ambition is like a drug

With promises of happiness and fulfillment, an unbridled ambition's rewards of fame and fortune are worthless without a selfless purpose. Ambition can become the enemy of self care. "When we are consumed by our pursuits, it erodes unity, and our collective mission takes a backseat to competition."

Application to my leadership development

  1. Strategically balance duty and desire: be aware of when they may clash
  2. Recognize the people in my car: focus my attention on them
  3. Remove unbridled ambition: desire a fuller life by discovering purpose beyond myself

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