Self-Worth: The Value of Your Association – Part 2

As Part 1 of this article mentioned, the renowned motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." This observation is a stark reminder of how associations can profoundly influence our identities, aspirations, and overall perception of self-worth (Rohn, n.d.). Positive associations can be pillars of support, affirmation, and inspiration, while negative ones can cast shadows of doubt negativity, and diminish one's self-worth. When negative experiences from associations adversely impact one's self-worth, it becomes essential to reevaluate, recalibrate, and reclaim one's inherent value.

Recognize the Impact of Negative Associations

Depth of Influence: Associations are not just casual influences but deeply embedded into our psyche. Over time, frequent interactions and experiences, especially about ourselves, mould our perceptions and beliefs. An adverse association often magnifies personal insecurities, leading to a skewed perception of self (American Sociological Association, 2014).

Internalized Beliefs: One of the most sinister impacts of negative associations is internalizing external criticism. Over time, individuals begin to accept these negative perspectives as their own. They become their own harshest critic, fueled by the external voices they have come to internalize.

Prioritize Self-Care and Self-Reflection

Self-care is paramount during times of self-doubt. Engaging in activities that elevate mood, like exercise, meditation, or even indulging in hobbies, can counteract the negative impact of unhealthy associations (Mental Health America, 2018). Through self-reflection, one can discern the cause of their dwindling self-worth and craft a plan to rectify it.

Physical Self-Care: Physical activities have been scientifically proven to elevate mood and combat depressive symptoms. Activities like jogging, swimming, or brisk walking can release endorphins, the body's natural mood enhancers (Mayo Clinic, 2019).

Mental and Emotional Self-Care: Apart from physical activity, individuals must indulge in mental relaxation activities. Reading, painting, meditating, or even listening to music can act as a balm for the soul, allowing moments of reflection and introspection.

Journaling: Documenting feelings can be therapeutic. It provides an outlet and can be an excellent tool for reflection. Over time, individuals can identify patterns, triggers, and sources of negativity by reviewing entries, making them better equipped to address these issues.

Seek Positive Reinforcements

Surrounding oneself with positive, affirming individuals can be a salve for a wounded sense of self-worth. Positive associations can provide the encouragement and validation one needs to rebuild confidence. According to psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, positive interactions and emotions expand one's awareness and encourage varied, novel thoughts and actions, which are crucial for self-growth (Fredrickson, 2001).

Broadening Horizons: Sometimes, breaking away from a tight-knit, potentially negative circle and meeting new people can rejuvenate. Engaging in community service, joining clubs, or participating in workshops can introduce individuals to different perspectives and positive influences.

The Power of Affirmation: While seeking external validation should not be a constant pursuit, occasional affirmations from close, positive associates can be uplifting. Sharing accomplishments, however small, with supportive friends or family can lead to moments of joy and validation.

Set Boundaries

Learning to Say No: One of the most empowering things an individual can do is learn the art of saying "no." Not every invitation or interaction needs to be accepted, especially if it poses a risk to mental well-being (Cloud & Townsend, 1992).

Communicate: If an association is valued but has become a source of negativity, it is crucial to communicate feelings. Honest communication can either mend bridges or clarify the need to maintain distance.

Seek Professional Help

Therapeutic Alliance: A bond with a mental health professional can be a beacon of hope. Therapists offer objective insights and tools to process feelings, understand triggers, and develop coping mechanisms.

Group Therapy: Sharing experiences in a group setting can be liberating. It allows individuals to understand they are not alone in their feelings and offers diverse coping strategies and perspectives.

Reassess Personal Goals and Values

Vision Boards: Visual representations of personal goals, aspirations, and values can be a daily reminder of one's journey and purpose. Vision boards can combine images, quotes, and personal achievements.

Realign with Purpose: Drifting from one's core values over time is natural. Regularly reassessing personal and professional goals and realigning them with inherent values can be a compass during tumultuous times.

Conclusion

Associations, be they positive or negative, indelibly imprint upon our psyche. However, with conscious effort, introspection, and sometimes professional intervention, it is possible to rise above negative experiences and rediscover one's self-worth. While the journey might be challenging, each step to reclaiming self-worth is a testament to resilience, strength, and the indomitable human spirit.

References

Rohn, J. (n.d.). Personal development.

American Sociological Association. (2014). Peer influence and peer selection: Two sides of the same coin. Journal of Youth and Adolescence.

Mayo Clinic. (2019). Exercise and depression: Endorphins, reducing stress, and more.

Mental Health America. (2018). The importance of self-care.

Fredrickson, B. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218-226.

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.

(c) Banks Odole, Ph.D. (Aug. 2023)