Self-Service or Anti-Customer––Et Tu, McDonald’s?

Is cost-effective ?“self-surgery” just around the corner?

A mattress?seller?in Chicago?unabashedly touts

“employee free” showrooms on the radio––shunning the “hassle” of staff.

The self-service movement is, of course, all about the bottom line.

In September, McDonald’s?announced?that its digital kiosks will now accept cash and give back change, just like human cashiers––and removing the need for them. Of course, McDonald’s digital kiosks have taken orders for years.?

Restaurants’ total embrace of self-service probably started when they discovered that diners would bus their own tables. Not only would they bus their own tables, they would pick up their food at the restaurant’s kitchen counter when their beeper went off––yes, beeper!––and inexplicably tip on top of it. (For the busboys and waitstaff who didn’t serve them?)

Of course, ATMs have been the poster technology for financial self-service for years but many stores have now instituted self-checkouts albeit with employee “guards” at the stations to keep customers honest. The self-service stations also admonish would-be thieves with, “please put your item back on the scale,” if it detects that shoplifting might be in progress. ?Busted!

Anyone who uses the phone knows that self-service has been the norm in the business world for years. Want to talk to a live agent at your bank, power company, WIFI provider, retail store, computer and phone tech support and of course medical office? ?A voice mail robot will ask you to “please listen to the following” because “our menu options have changed”–– an insulting waste of time you probably don’t have. ?Then the bot tells you that the company’s “convenient” app and web site will allow you to do whatever you are calling for, yourself––convenient for whom?––so the company doesn’t need to hire a live person. Can they send you a text to connect with a different bot??

?One medical chain that advertises on the radio in Chicago about how “you” the valued patient are the most important part of their mission––the cornerstone!––refers on the phone to the live person who used to answer a call (and who you now have to wait 12 minutes for) for as a “patient advocate specialist.” The live person on the phone is a “specialist”?

?In the last years, opportunistic medical providers in the U.S. are even offering self-service orthodontia and hearing aid care in their radio and billboard ads. This allegedly saves the customer from the inconvenience of “doctor visits”––and the company from expensive hires and even a bricks and mortar location. Is cost-effective ?“self-surgery” just around the corner? A mattress?seller?in Chicago?unabashedly touts “employee free” showrooms on the radio––shunning the “hassle” of staff.

Next to doctors’ offices, pharmacies might be the worst purveyors of self-service. After the voice mail robot tells you to “please listen to the following” because “our menu options have changed,” and commercials for whatever services the store is selling (often health care) you are given the opportunity to talk to all departments––except the pharmacy, the nuts and bolts of the operation.

Why?

Because to answer phone calls, the company would have to pay pharmacists more or––gulp––hire additional staff. No, to talk to the pharmacy staff about your prescription, you “need to leave a message.”?

The self-service movement is, of course, all about the bottom line. And, if after 14 minutes, you do get a live agent (sorry a “patient advocate specialist”) they will often try to sell you something else, as the Madison Avenue people call it, “upsell” you. “Before we make your appointment, can we interest you in our Patient Plus Program?” If you are calling a utility, "Before we restore your service, can we interest you in our Elite Customer Service Program?" If you are calling a retail operation, “may we interest you in our Loyalty Program?”

Customers are often surprised when they try, instead of requesting service from a live agent, to pay a bill that they still can’t get past the voice mail bot. Why, when they press “six” to pay a bill, are they still told to use the “convenient” app and web site and prevented from speaking to a live agent. Doesn’t the company want revenue? Or would that require another hire??

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