Self-reflection - question 3, Body, Mind, Spirit, or why won’t we go faster and further

My previous two posts about self-reflection examine our relationship with work. Today we’re moving on to the second of the four areas encompassing our life activities - the ever-recurring "Me". I am not going to reinvent the wheel here; instead, following an ancient philosophy, I will focus on three main areas: Body, Mind and Spirit. Unsurprisingly, there will be a series of three posts, and here is the first one – The Body.

On many occasions I was positively surprised at the appropriateness of my technical education in explaining and interpreting everyday business. Questions about the usefulness of our formal studies are nothing unusual for anybody who regularly exercise self-reflection (economists, psychologists, historians, etc.); but, of course, I can only speak for myself. The insight into technical industry simply provides me with a lot of useful comparisons and metaphors to help analyze, understand and describe reality. And, as it turns out, these comparisons and metaphors are commonly understood and accepted by people outside my area of expertise.

Well, let us start with a small quiz: What limits the speed of road vehicles? From my experience I’d dare to assume that quite a lot of people will answer: “The engine”, which is the part that runs the entire mechanism. Meanwhile, this is not the right answer. The element that limits the speed of road vehicles is not the engine, but suspension – that is, to put it simply, everything between the wheels and the chassis. The engines can be powerful, but when a wheel hits the chassis on a bumpy road and the driver’s head meet the ceiling, even the toughest guy will take his foot off the gas pedal. Why do we need this little story in this particular spot? Well, as a matter of fact, the vast majority motivational books and presentations focus on our own engine, that is, our will and psyche. They are extremely important and powerful, and without them you simply won’t go anywhere. But after starting a good engine and reaching the right RPM level, without an equally good suspension – that is our capacity to act - we won’t go far. After all, it’s the long distance we aim at (a lifetime, in fact), not a single spurt and return to home base. The weakness of the body is the element that makes us fail. The body has to support us and allow us to act according to the needs in the four areas of our activities (Work, Me, and the remaining two I will address next time). So, let us show some respect to our body and learn to maintain it by no means less attentively and eagerly than we would treat our cars. I’ll sum up this introduction with yet another motoring metaphor. French General Brocard, pressured by his superiors in 1941 to throw his division into fight with proper dedication, summed it up shortly: dedication or not - without fuel the tanks don’t run.

Coming back to our everyday life, we all know, or at least we suspect, that without the full cooperation of our body we won’t make do. But what does it mean, actually? Do we need to study physiology, master complex long-term diets and multi-training programs and be able to evangelize it to other people? Fortunately, we do not. Let’s leave it to the enthusiasts (and celebrities, there are some of them in business). You can, of course, but there is no pressure. I’m assuming we’re all ordinary people here. A car is supposed to get us to our destination – we don’t need to polish its aluminum wheels with a baby soft cloth for half a day time.

So let's focus on the basic body functions and their proper use. There are only three. The first one is SLEEP. Yes, a simple sleep. I assume all of us sleep once in a while, but I dare to doubt that we are familiar with the basics of this business. Of course, it also took me quite a few years to start asking myself these questions (and other people too) and to find my own answers that make life simpler and more efficient. The basic question is: do you know how many hours of sleep you need? No, not how many hours of sleep a person needs in general, or did Napoleon need (apparently not many), but how much YOU need to exist efficiently. Six, seven, eight hours? If you think you know the answer, I’ll ask: and how do you know it's the right answer? How long you sleep and how exactly you justify it (because of closing the quarter, because of budgeting, because it goes with the job, because of the projects, because of the kids, because of this or that) is not necessarily right. Have you checked this by analyzing and comparing your performance in different periods of time? If your answer is based on gut feeling, I recommend coming back to the starting point.

Another question: what is your natural daily routine? Where is the center of gravity of your highest efficiency, and when do you wander half-consciously and reading a few sentences and understanding them seems like a miracle to you? This is important, because these six / seven / eight hours of sleep are worth proper allocation. Even if technically the number of hours in bed is appropriate, but fitted in with contradiction to your preferred cycle, it will make no difference. Why be a morning or evening zombie and stuff ourselves with coffee or energy drinks ("because if I don’t have my morning coffee I’m soooo tired")? Perhaps it’s enough to adjust your day and night according to your specific needs.

The third question: in what conditions do I sleep best? It’s about the temperature, degree of isolation from the ambience, type of bed and bedding, and the things we do prior to going to bed: an urgent report (the only kind of report in existence) and a bite of sausage grabbed in a hurry from the refrigerator, or a moment of tranquility for the mind by reading a book, listening to music, meditation, going for a walk? Look for it, compare and check again. It is worth to know your body and cooperate with it. It's a bit like with our planet Earth - first we have been proudly taming it for ages, only to learn that it is not about taming it, but about coexistence, a symbiosis.

The fourth and final question about sleep: when you finally know how much sleep you need, at which point of your daily routine and in what conditions... do you provide it to your body regularly? Oh, I am afraid that hurts, right? Fortunately, we finally live in the times when the tasks accomplished matter more than the hours spent at work. There are more possibilities of adjusting our input and controlling our efficiency. It’s a favorable circumstance. Take it in your hands, take control. At least, check what is possible and how often. I mean, if not daily, then at least on a regular basis, treating every other instance as an exception. With age, ironically, you have more influence on your day. Take control – or lose it, with a heart attack. 

Physiology experts would certainly add a number of other essential elements regarding the quality of sleep. However, let us start from fundamental issues, those we can control ourselves, starting tomorrow. Just ask yourself the above mentioned starter pack of four questions about sleep, find your own answers and regain a significant piece of control over your life. The tanks will refuel. Obviously, everybody has periods of time in life when such actions fail. And that’s OK, provided that these are only periods of time that we can carefully observe and catch up with. If such periods last year after year, and we regularly feed ourselves with coffee, energy drinks, sleeping pills, stimulants and other garbage, it means we’re going down the slippery slope. If that happens in our thirties it sounds serious, because it won’t get easier with time. I can assure you that it will only be getting harder, and coffee will not get stronger. In brief: how many hours of sleep do you need, what is your natural daily routine, in what conditions do you sleep best and do you act accordingly to these needs. Doesn’t sound like much, but....

And one last thing - the answers to these questions change over time. What was right when we were in our thirties may change when we turn forty, etc. Let’s verify these answers once in a while.

The second basic function is EATING. I’m assuming that apart from sleeping, everybody must eat as well (except perhaps those in love, but trust me, the effect wears off with time). Again, I’ll start with good news - I'm not talking about diets, counting calories or stuff like that. As we’ve already established, we’re ordinary busy people. To be honest, I don’t really know the difference between hydrocarbons or carbohydrates, which nutritional values potatoes are a good source of, what elements rice is rich in, and what food should I avoid (and why exactly shouldn’t I? I like it and I don’t eat it with buckets). I'll start with the most basic piece of advice here, even if professional nutritionists would laugh at me for my amateur approach. Yes, it is amateur, but it is effective at the basic level. I have known this for a long time, and even the classic Polish stand-up comedy group “Kabaret Dudek” has included that advice in one of their sketches. I forgot about it for a while, but then life itself reminded me of it in a very painful way, when I was responsible for a start-up company. The advice is – one hot meal a day. That is, at least one. Coffee doesn’t count. It’s best if your warm meal isn’t consumed on the run, in front of a computer screen, or in-between phone calls. It is good to use this time to take a break from your ongoing issues. Depending on the nature of your job, as well as your own self, choose if you want to eat alone, or among others in order to have a calm conversation, detached from daily business. This is not only providing your body with essentials (quiet, warm meal), but also cleaning your mind by occupying it with something different from the impulses bombarding you from every angle. There are so many smart and interesting people you could have lunch with. Look around. These don’t necessarily need to be your suppliers or clients. Again - at least once a day give your body and yourself a normal hot meal, eaten in a sitting position, and let the mind clear out of current affairs. And don’t tell me it cannot be done... I used to be made of steel myself, at some point, indestructible, until I was taken to ER by an ambulance, a day before Christmas (to send the message even more clearly, I guess), which of course only stressed out my family even more. After this I have rearranged my days. Thanks to the support of fantastic people around me, who simply grabbed me and pulled me out for lunch, where we talked about music, movies, books, travel and so on. Did I work less? Absolutely not! I simply worked smarter. I was reminded that without fuel the tanks don’t run. After refueling, I was able to do a lot more. You can do it too.

A second piece of advice on food - eat a decent breakfast. What do I mean by decent? Yes, you guessed it: sitting down, in the company of your loved ones or an interesting person. It’s not about having a feast. Half an hour would do. If not every day, try doing it less often, but... systematically. Today there are so many opportunities to have a normal breakfast outside. I’ve found it a great occasion to meet new people, make friends, bond with your existing friends, have a chance for your intellectual enrichment or simply open a professional door. These days we even have a corporate kitchen on our side, so you can sit down, talk, taste the moment (not just the sandwich in front of your screen), before you start running again. Then relax for a while over the previously mentioned "something warm once a day", and then finally, chill out again before bedtime. Apart from providing your body with fuel you incorporate a changing rhythm of the day and engaging your mind, a life-saver for the latter. I repeat - do not tell me it can’t be done... Because if you can’t do it for a year, it means that you are either in a wrong place (run!), or you're disorganized and committing suicide in installments. Both cases require an intervention. Do not wait until something changes. It won’t change by itself.

What about those hydrocarbons and carbohydrates? Well, life is on our side here. Most of the lunch meals are served today with some kind of internal logic and were prepared in a sensible way. There are other people, who look after these carbo-somethings, vitamins and acids for us. So, if you do not mistake desserts for meals (tiramisu is a dessert and coffee is a drink, not lunch...), remember about common sense variety and apply the principle of spoons-not-buckets, you will be OK. Especially, you should combine it with the previously mentioned bedtime management. So, in short: every day once a day have something warm to eat in peaceful conditions, a normal breakfast, variety, moderation (spoons-not-buckets), alternating rhythm of the day regulated by meals and do not eat much before bedtime. No ideology, just simplicity and usability. Even here there is nothing to memorize, it is so intuitive. Again, doesn’t seem much, right?

The third and final basic function is PHYSICAL ACTIVITY; and I bear more good news to start with. Life can really be simple. First of all, it’s been statistically proven that people physically fit live longer and more intensively. Each of us should answer the question, if they want live longer and be able to do more. It’s a matter of free will. Secondly, we do not need to join the club of iron-men, people running marathons and half-marathons, lifting hundreds of tons of weight in a gym. Again – let’s leave this to three groups of people: the passionate ones (of the true kind, hats off to them); the determined ones, who must always compete, in whatever they do, as if they had not enough stress and effort at work home already (but somehow chess is never their favorite pastime) and the followers, who do something, because others do it too, and it’s the in-thing (and a good subject for conversation in the company of others). We, as usual, prefer to focus on simple, pragmatic solutions that allow us to achieve our personal harmony. The point of reference of this harmony is your very own self, not the others. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard on this matter was in the Finnish Olympic Training center: exercise every other day, for about half an hour, until you see some sweat; don’t overdo it, and what is you choose to do (running, swimming, dancing, cycling, walking, gymnastics, etc.) depends only on your preferences and capabilities. You have to enjoy it. Simply do what you like doing and not what other people like (or they say they like). Could there be a simpler way to help your body stay sufficiently fit? Years pass and I keep hearing the same advice from all experts - every other day, for about half an hour, sweat and do what you like. So there has to be something in it. Additional suggestions on my side are the following:

- find out what time of day best fits your body in such activities (in my case it is the evening, which helps to take the edge off after a stressful day. I don’t wake up rested in the morning in order to to immediately start sweating before I go to work. But that's just my personal model, find out what’s yours)

- find out whether you prefer to be alone or with someone else during your workout (in my case alone works best, I want silence, because at work I have enough conversations, and what’s more, I am an introvert. You should find your own model),

- see if you can use this time in any additional way (I listen to music, which gives me more positively intensive emotions and allows me to focus and think intensively on any given subject, almost like a mantra. As a result, after thirty minutes I’m both physically and mentally anew. Tired, but not exhausted. Happy. And what groundbreaking ideas I often come up with... Again, find your own model).

It took me over a year before I came to ask myself the above questions and I find my answers. That's too long. I acted blindly, I made all the classic mistakes, and one of them was increasing the frequency and intensity of exercises just because I felt I could do more (but why?!). I was in the second of the aforementioned groups of people (yet, I can play chess). Rather than consciously accept a good solution, I was always looking for more. And I found it... and then my knees said: enough... I had to take a half-year break. Only then I started thinking. Now I just run my five kilometers every other day to the music and my own thoughts (not about work!). That's what my body needs in order to work well and that’s what allows me to continuously perform in other areas of life. I run not to run better and faster. I run to have the tanks refueled, which will then enable me to use the full power of the engine (or the mind).

Coming to the end I have just one question for you to sum things up. One post, one main question:

do you have your own system that harmoniously combines the three areas described here (sleeping, eating and physical activity)?

Search for your own answers. Only you know them. Good questions are better than good answers, but coming from other people. The tanks need to be refueled systematically. When you have all the fuel in the world – onwards, boundless as the sea, and off you go to the horizon. One last suggestion: go back to the beginning of this post, to the very top, above the headline and read the advice of the little green guy.

And now let me suggest to visit post related to "Career planning...".

PS And what did the ancients use to say? Oh right, “a sound mind in a sound body”. Have you heard it before? Of course you have. So many times, I suppose, that you no longer pay attention to what it means.

PPS Obviously, all my comments apply to a case of standard health. If you have health problems of a deeper nature, you should go and see a professional.