Self-Reflection is the Key to Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

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No one likes to move beyond his or her comfort zone, but that’s really where the magic happens. It’s where we can grow, learn, and develop in a way that expands our horizons beyond what we thought was possible.

Also, it’s terrifying.

For me, operating beyond my comfort zone was participating in classroom discussions in college. Early in my career, it was public lecturing and participating in departmental meetings. I knew I had things to say, but was very unsure if they were worth saying.

And you know what? I didn’t say a word in nearly all of my undergraduate classes, and uttered very little in professional meetings at for a long time. From talking with others about their own unique fears and challenges, I’m sure I’m not alone.

Fast forward 20 years, and I am now in the interesting position of teaching and coaching others to operate outside their comfort zones.

So, how can we get the courage to take this leap — and develop the skill and ability to actually pull it off?

One critical tip I've learned is to recognize when you're tricking yourself

When I was afraid of participating in meetings or in class, I would rationalize away my discomfort. I’d tell myself quite convincingly that, “Participating just isn’t that important.” Now, in my position helping others to operate outside their comfort zones, especially outside of their cultural comfort zones, I hear similar rationalizations: “Networking isn’t that important; it’s the quality of your work,” or “People who network are slimy or full of themselves, and I’m not like that.”

These statements may be true, but they also may be masking the reality of the situation: that you are afraid and can’t get yourself to admit it.

So ask yourself this question: If you didn’t experience any anxiety at all in your chosen situation — if it were completely comfortable and stress-free — would it be something you’d like to be able to do? Would it be exciting? Would it help your career? If the answer is yes (and be honest!), it’s probably fear that you’re grappling with — and that’s OK. In fact, it’s great to recognize that so you can move onto the next step in the process, which is to use your power of rationalization for you instead of against you.

Instead of rationalizing why the behavior is something not worth performing, actively brainstorm all the reasons why it is worth performing. How can taking the leap and starting to work on performing this tough, but key behavior advance your career, give you chances to grow and learn in exciting ways, or whatever other goals you happen to care about?

Answering these questions honestly will actually give you great fodder for moving forward. Understanding why you want to take this leap and what’s in it for you is a wonderful motivator.