Self-Promotion or Personal Branding: The Fine Line Between Assertiveness, Confidence and Bragging

Last week, I talked on the phone with my dear friend Tory (she’s more like the sister I never had and would want if I had a choice at picking a sister). Our conversation began with the initial pleasantries of asking how are things going, how is the family, how are the kids, and how is work going? You know, the standard stuff you open with before you get into a deep conversation or gossip.

           My response to all those questions was pretty generic, “yeah things are cool.” “The wife is fine – she still busting my chops about something I did wrong.” “The kid is okay, we sent her to France to study during Spring-Break, so she hit me up for a whole new wardrobe – including a pair of Nike 720’s for $175. Damn, I cannot remember ever paying over $100 for a pair of sneakers – like that is my Kenneth Cole dress shoe price.” “Oh, work is okay. You know, work is work, I’m looking for some new clients to inspire me,” (see Tory is like my road dog that happens to be a woman, so we talk like sailors, and I left out a lot of language that colors this conversation - in a fun way). 

           Tory replies in the same manor – the family is good, the kid is okay, the husband is doing his thing... blah, blah, blah. Then she pauses and said, “you know you should do personal branding.” While we are having this conversation, I happen to be driving, so then my response, “what do you mean, like do PR for a person, I already do that?” We both start laughing, but then Tory stops and in a serious tone say “naw silly rabbit, I’m for real, you need to add a personal branding service to the firm’s list of services.” Oh wow, now I am intrigued to where this conversation is going, so I switched from my hand-held position to the AirPods so I can concentrate on driving and talking.

           As we continued our drive-time conversation, Tory went on to share how she plays a vital role at work, and she does a lot of things within her organization and outside of her that may not get the kind of recognition she wants, or needs – especially if she wants to get noticed for other professional opportunities. She went on to share some examples like when she does public presentations, sits on a panel discussion or doing some community work, it’s not always a given her organization will be “covering” her actions, taking photos, doing Facebook live, or tweeting her thoughts - pearls-of-wisdom. A light bulb in my head turns on. 

           “So what you’re saying is you want me to look for mid-level managers and directors who may be getting lost in the corporate mosh-pit, and who are doing great things but just don’t have a way, a person, or time to elevate their work like the way a PR firm or publicist does for a business or celebrity,” I replied?  “Yes!” she said.

           This got me thinking because sometimes I struggle with the very same idea of personal branding, and I am sure I’m not alone. The question is: when does personal branding become bragging or self-promotion, is there a difference, and if so, should it matter?

In some countries and cultures having a sense of humility, modesty, self-control, are valued characteristics. To toot one’s own horn would be like committing a sin in some areas of the world such as pick any country in Asia for example China, India, or Korean. Harvard University’s Andrew Molinsky research for his book, “Global Dexterity,” indicates personal branding or “self-promotion” is one of the major six areas of discomfort for people around the world to do. And yet, here we are in the good-old U.S.A., preaching and teaching the value of personal branding. Who is right or wrong?

           The answer is neither. One needs to strike a balance with the idea of personal branding that reveals your capacity for being modest, and having self-control, but being assertive and self-confident. The true benefit of personal branding is your ability to take control of your reputation and what people think about you. Think of it this way, personal branding gives you a unique opportunity to define the contributions you make at work, church, or in the community. It’s whatever you want it to be, and the goal is to differentiate yourself from others. Take me for example, I am a public relations consultant, but I also like to cook. If you are fortunate to be reading this article, you may notice somewhere on my LinkedIn feed some photos of my dishes. That is part of my personal brand I am willing to share with you. So, if you are a chef or restaurateur, who needs a PR firm, you might want to call me because I have a talent for both PR and cooking. See how that works?

           To reconcile the idea of personal branding over bragging and self-promotion, here are a few things to consider:

• Co-Personal Branding – if you grew up in a culture or part of the world where self-promotions is negatively views, flip the idea to personal branding that also highlights someone else. If you work in a group environment and you are not comfortable showcasing what you did, you can highlight your contributions to the group’s success as a way to achieve personal branding. You’re still being a team player, showing modesty, but being assertive and in control of your unique differentiation that sets you apart.
• Authenticity Matters – the reason why personal branding can seem difficult is because you really don’t want to come off like a cheap used car salesman. The idea is to avoid looking like all you do is packaging yourself in such a way to be attractive to others to “buy” what you are selling. Your personal branding should be honest, open, and be clear at what you excel in, and honest at what you do not. Believe it or not, people can smell bullshit so try not to spread it – unless you’re in the lawn care business.
• Make a Deal with Yourself – by nature I’m a laid-back kind of guy. I consider myself a workhorse not a show horse, so I tend to want my work to speak for itself. But honestly, my work as a PR professional is not always going to be transparent and may not speak for itself because I do it for clients. I may write press releases or develop key messages for clients to deliver in the media, setup interview opportunities or spend time just listening to a client think through a problem that may need a communications resolution. So how do I find a way to personal brand my work for others? You make a deal with yourself to look for opportunities to share how your work is just as important as the people you work with, or for.

Here is the deal, if you find yourself being a mid-level or senior management cog in a system that is not taking note of your accomplishments, you are too busy or culturally torn between how to personal brand yourself without appearing to be bragging, I want to hear from you.

You now have PR firm that will work on your personal brand. D. Ericson & Associates Public Relations, “communicating ideas in actions.”