Self-Preoccupation: Unveiling a Potential Risk of Modern Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is undoubtedly a valuable tool that provides individuals with a safe space to explore their innermost struggles, giving their core wounds the opportunity to heal through the therapeutic relationship. This process allows individuals to internalize the compassionate presence of their therapist, fostering a profound sense of belonging and security within themselves. The beauty of psychotherapy lies in its capacity to help individuals explore and heal, yet it's crucial to acknowledge potential pitfalls, including the risk of excessive self-focus. When referring to a "pitfall" in the context of psychotherapy, it denotes a potential unintended consequence, similar to the unforeseen complications that can arise in a surgical procedure. These consequences may stem from various factors, including poor psychotherapeutic practices or specific traits exhibited by the client, or unforeseen variables. It's important to note that these pitfalls do not necessarily represent inherent limitations of psychotherapy as a tool but rather potential unintended consequences linked to the philosophical foundations that can underly its practice.

Modern psychotherapy has its roots in an individualistic culture that places immense value on the significance of each person—MY thoughts, MY emotions, MY behaviors. This emphasis has proven beneficial, encouraging individuals to embark on a journey of self-discovery, delve into their deepest emotions, and authentically experience and process their inner worlds.

In contrast, both Modern Physics and Eastern Metaphysics shift away from the exaltation of the individual self. They paint a picture where we, as individuals, are but cosmic stardust, mere components within a vast cosmic symphony. In this grand tapestry, we are just dust particles among many, and the focus expands beyond the confines of the self to encompass the awe-inspiring vastness of the cosmos.

“The human race is just a chemical scum on a moderate-sized planet, orbiting around a very average star in the outer suburb of one among a hundred billion galaxies. We are so insignificant that I can't believe the whole universe exists for our benefit. That would be like saying that you would disappear if I closed my eyes.” - Stepen Hawking

This balance between self-exploration and broader connection is at the heart of the discussion. This article's aim is to shed light on the potential implications of the philosophy of psychotherapy, particularly in the context of self-preoccupation, without implying any criticism of psychotherapy as a form of treatment.

Psychotherapy can, at times, inadvertently confine itself within the walls of a therapist's office, isolating the client and therapist from the broader world. In this setup, the therapeutic process can resemble the work of an astronomer, where the client and therapist, like distant observers, discuss mental and emotional patterns of the client, and issues from a detached perspective, separated from the physical experience of the body, the interconnectedness of the human community, and the deeper realm of the human spirit as a whole.

In such instances, the therapeutic process may neglect the holistic nature of human existence, focusing solely on dissecting psychological phenomena in a clinical context.

The heart of psychotherapy lies in making the client the center of the therapeutic process. Rooted in the client-centered approach developed by Carl Rogers, therapists wholeheartedly prioritize their clients. In this environment, clients are granted the undivided attention of their therapist, creating a space for them to articulate their concerns. Over time, clients and therapists collaboratively identify and address patterns of thought, striving for self-analysis and resolution. However, this intense focus on oneself can sometimes lead to an unintended consequence—a preoccupation with self.

In the therapeutic journey, clients may find themselves immersed in a constant stream of "I have this," "I feel that," "I think this." This self-absorption may, over time, lead to a new source of identity—the identity of a patient. It can culminate in internal dialogues where clients continually discuss (in their head) their thoughts and emotions with their therapist. This heightened self-focus has the potential to be alluring, even romanticized, as clients increasingly immerse themselves in self-exploration and analysis.

In the course of therapy, the act of introspection, self-analysis, and the deep scrutiny of one's thoughts and emotions can, paradoxically, lead to an unintended consequence: an exaggerated sense of self-importance. As individuals begin to take their inner world incredibly seriously and seek validation for their thoughts and emotions from their therapist, a subtle shift occurs.

The crux of this issue lies in the inclination to take oneself too seriously. When individuals become hyper-focused on their inner world and personal experiences, they risk missing out on the simplicity of selflessness in everyday moments and shared humanity. The beauty of life's intricacies and shared experiences often lies in the spontaneity of these moments. However, an exaggerated sense of self-importance can inadvertently propel psychological isolation, reinforcing the void the ego experiences due to a sense of incompleteness.

In this context, the act of constantly scrutinizing the self can lead to a skewed worldview, one where individuals become overly fixated on their own needs and concerns. This hyper-focus on the self can blind individuals to the richness of human interaction, shared laughter, and the collective experience of existence. It isolates them from the world around them, as they begin to perceive themselves as unique entities with unique issues that need professional analysis and books to be read on.

It's important to remember that while introspection and self-analysis have their place in therapy, they should ideally serve as tools to enhance self-awareness and personal growth rather than as vehicles for magnifying self-importance. The delicate balance lies in integrating self-exploration with a sense of humility and an appreciation for the shared, ordinary moments that make up the tapestry of life. This integration can help individuals find fulfillment and a sense of completeness beyond the confines of self-obsession.

In the age of information and self-help resources, individuals often have easy access to a wealth of information about various psychological disorders, therapeutic theories, and self-help strategies. While this can be empowering and informative, it can also have unintended consequences when it leads to a hyper-focus on one's mental health and self-analysis.

When individuals become overly absorbed in researching different disorders and theories, they may find themselves constantly questioning whether they fit into a particular category or exhibit specific symptoms. This self-analysis can become a time-consuming endeavor, as they meticulously gather information, make notes, and generate discussions with their therapist about potential diagnoses.

While self-education and self-advocacy can be positive aspects of one's mental health journey, they can also contribute to a situation in which individuals are consumed by their own psychological state. The continual quest for self-diagnosis and self-analysis may lead to a heightened self-consciousness that causes them to withdraw from shared human experiences.

In this state, individuals may find themselves isolated, their minds preoccupied with their own inner workings and self-perceived issues. Their interactions with others may be dominated by discussions about their mental health or therapy experiences, inadvertently overshadowing the more universal aspects of human connection and shared experiences.

Covert narcissism, in this context, refers to the emergence of strong egocentrism centered around the belief of being a victim. It involves perceiving everything through the lens of one's own issues and patterns, expecting special treatment and attention from the world. In this state, it's easy for individuals to lose sight of the therapeutic journey's original intent, potentially leading to a distorted sense of self-importance.

This phenomenon can quickly evolve into a self-reinforcing loop, wherein clients derive an ego boost from the attention they receive. They may inadvertently start exhibiting traits associated with covert narcissism.

In summary, while psychotherapy's primary aim is to heal and empower individuals, it is crucial to remain aware of the potential pitfalls. Excessive self-focus, arising from the client's central role in therapy and hyperfocus on the internal world, has the capacity to transform the therapeutic process into a self-indulgent experience, potentially fostering covert narcissistic traits that require careful consideration and therapeutic guidance.

In contrast to the Western approach to psychotherapy, Eastern philosophies, and practices, rooted in collectivistic cultures, emphasize the concept of "forgetting oneself" or "selflessness" in the context of something larger or greater. Rather than perpetuating a relentless focus on the individual ego, these traditions suggest that the path to transcending the shallow, insecure ego lies in dissolving it through integration into something larger, extensive, and meaningful.

“I was no longer needing to be special, because I was no longer so caught in my puny separateness that had to keep proving I was something. I was part of the universe, like a tree is, or like grass is, or like water is. Like storms, like roses. I was just part of it all.” ― Ram Dass, Changing Lenses

Eastern traditions advocate that individuals can overcome the limitations of the ego by experientially becoming a part of a collective, belonging to something greater than themselves.

When individuals immerse themselves in spiritual practices like Yoga, they embark on a journey of uniting with a higher source, causing their egos to gradually dissipate into a larger, universal consciousness. This process can be likened to shedding the self-absorption and self-importance that frequently accompany a strong ego. Through yoga and similar spiritual practices, individuals connect with a profound sense of oneness with the universe.

As they delve into this journey, the boundaries of the self become less distinct, allowing them to experience a heightened awareness of interconnectedness and interdependence with the world around them. This transformation entails letting go of the ego's insistence on individuality and separateness, making space for a deeper and more inclusive form of consciousness to emerge. The self, in this context, evolves from a confined and self-centered identity into a harmonious part of the larger cosmic tapestry, transcending self-absorption and ego-driven self-importance.

At the Social level, when people engage in practices such as belonging to a "sangha" (a community with shared values) and offering service (seva), their egos begin to dissolve into a larger whole. This dissolution is akin to shedding the self-absorption and self-importance that often accompanies a strong ego.

As individuals become an integral part of a community or a shared value system, they shift their perspective. They cease to take themselves so seriously and begin to experience a state of spontaneous shared existence. This state of being is derived from a higher source or a deeper connection to the world around them. They move away from seeing themselves as separate entities that must protect and preserve their identities and instead perceive themselves as integral components of a larger cosmic order.

This shift in perspective leads individuals to recognize that they belong to a broader humanity. It encourages them to view themselves as part of a shared human experience where the hyper-focus on the self becomes unnecessary. In this context, the emphasis is on cooperation, unity, and interconnectedness, and there is no need for an excessive preoccupation with one's need to seek self-worth or feel more desired than the other.

In my role as a psychotherapist, the profound knowledge of psychotherapy has been an invaluable asset. It has empowered me to unravel the intricacies of my deepest emotions, discern patterns within myself, and perceive the world through a healthier lens. This journey of self-discovery has brought immense personal growth.

Simultaneously, my exploration of Indian spirituality has illuminated a dimension beyond the confines of the individual self—the realm of universal impersonal consciousness. Through meditative practices, I embarked on a transformative journey, starting to dissolve my mind into the vast expanse of the impersonal universal divine principle, the source of pure presence. This profound connection with the divine universal consciousness has infused my life with profound meaning and contentment. In witnessing my insecure ego, I discovered a fundamental source of security in the embrace of this expansive, universal awareness.

The union of Western psychology and Eastern spirituality forms a sublime tapestry, delicately weaving threads of self-preservation and self-dissolution into the fabric of existence. In the embrace of Western psychology, there is a celebration of the individual self — a journey through the labyrinth of one's thoughts and emotions, a profound exploration that nurtures the authenticity of being.

So does the soul find solace in the wisdom of Eastern spirituality, where the individual self is not a fortress but a fleeting reflection on the tranquil surface of a cosmic pond. Through meditative odysseys, the mind dissolves like morning mist, merging seamlessly with the vast expanse of universal consciousness.

In this harmonious dance, Western psychology and Eastern spirituality entwine like vines in a garden of self-awareness. The delicate balance struck nurtures the individual soul while opening windows to vistas of universal interconnectedness. It is a symphony where the self, like a melodious note, resonates with the grandeur of something larger — a cosmic harmony that echoes through the corridors of the heart.

Reference

Goodreads. (n.d.). "I was no longer needing to be special because I." Retrieved Month Day, Year, from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/10372796-i-was-no-longer-needing-to-be-special-because-i

Hawking, S. (n.d.). "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." Retrieved Month Day, Year, from https://libquotes.com/stephen-hawking/quote/lbu4a8r

Self Love Rainbow. (2019, February). Self-care memes for February 2019. Self Love Rainbow. https://www.selfloverainbow.com/self-care-memes-for-february-2019/