Self-Pep Talks
So, lately, how many of you wondered, “I feel like, at my age, I’m SO far behind and need to be insanely productive every single day.” You scroll through social media and see all of your high school friends posting baby pictures, and you are here, still looking for a good match. Your juniors are switching jobs and you are here waiting for that one promotion. Sounds familiar? Well, many of us go through this emotional turbulence and it is completely normal to feel that way.
Endlessly comparing ourselves to others and idealizing their best qualities while underestimating our own are self-defeating behaviors and hurt our self-esteem. Yet in the competitive nature of our world, many of us do this. Unknowingly, if not intentionally.
It makes sense why so many of us are feeling this way. For the first 18 years of our lives, we’re all pretty much on the same trajectory. While we’re in school, our paths are mostly laid out for us. We’re among peers, growing and going through the same milestones at the same general pace. Then, after high school or college, we take different paths, and the comparison between “who’s ahead” and “who’s behind” gets murky.
The conventional wisdom says to “stop competing with others, only with yourself.” But that’s easier said than done.
First of all, please realize, you’re not behind, you’re just on your own path. And every path is different, every journey is different and we all have different situations, surroundings and paces. In such a situation, we need a little self-talk which helps us keep going. Please understand:
·?There is no time limit on when you can find love or reach success. You have an entire lifetime to reach the goals you set for yourself.
·?Just because your friends have reached certain milestones by now does not mean you were supposed to do the same. Their answer to happiness is not necessarily the same as yours.
·?There are no shortcuts to success. You have to choose the hard road because the easy one will not get you exactly where you were aiming to land.
·?You might not be ahead of your competition yet, but you are ahead of the person you were five years ago.
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·?Never give up. Never stop believing in yourself.
·?Failing once does not mean you are going to fail every other time you try. Practice is the key.
·?Don’t let your impatience convince you that your dreams are out of your reach. You will achieve every goal as long as you keep going.
·?Your pessimism is holding you back from greatness. Get out of your comfort zone.
·?You are better than you have been telling yourself.
·?If you want something, you are eventually going to get it.