The "Self-Made Man" is a Myth

I vividly remember the first time I heard the term, “self-made man.” I was in a 7th-grade civics class (which explains the lack of sensitivities around gender), and we were learning about President Herbert Hoover.? Hoover was orphaned at age nine, lived with various relatives during his youth, and despite his early hardships he excelled.? He graduated from Stanford, worked as a mining engineer, was a millionaire by his thirties (equivalent to more than $21m today), and was President of the United States from 1929 – 1933.?

Despite the fact that Hoover’s presidency is widely associated with the onset of the Great Depression, and he is not remembered as a particularly successful President, I was immediately captivated by his origin story and the concept of the “self-made man.”? I certainly wasn’t orphaned, I was raised by loving parents but was largely raised by a single mother, and neither of my parents had a college education.? We predominantly clung to the bottom rung of the lower-middle-class ladder for the majority of my childhood.? At that moment, in my 7th-grade classroom, I was determined to become a self-made man.?

I’m not worth anywhere close to $20 million in my middle age, let alone did I achieve it by the time I was 30.? I also have no desire to attain the office of the President of the United States (hell no!).? However, I am grateful for having attained a level of educational and financial success that exceeds the generation that preceded me.? While I am exceedingly proud of my accomplishments, it would be inaccurate, if not narcissistic, to claim that these levels of success were “self-made.”? I owe any success I have achieved to countless people who invested in me along the way.? ??

No one is truly self-made.? Our professional success is the result of others investing time, effort, and energy into making us better. I’ve encountered people who didn’t believe in me or prioritized their personal gains over the successes of those around them.? I’ve been knocked back, Hell! I’ve been knocked out!? I suppose if I am to give myself credit for anything, it’s that I’ve learned to try to embody the Vince Lombardi quote, “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”?

But for me to say I am “self-made,” would be a direct slap in the face of the countless people in my career who have believed in me, invested in me, coached me, mentored me, hired me, and promoted me.? I have become (hopefully) a better person because of each of those people, which is why I believe in paying it forward.?

There’s no such thing as self-made and beware of the person who describes themself as this, they are likely a narcissist.? No one ascends in life without help which is why it is imperative, whenever you may have the opportunity, to pay it forward.? Mentor, lead, promote.? Seek out promising young talent and try to help develop them.? I think you’ll find it supremely satisfying.? I know I do when I have that opportunity.? ?