SELF LOVE - A NEW PHENOMENON - OR IS IT?

Being brought up in a strict Baptist home, we had very strong principles to live by.?However, we were taught to look down on anyone who remotely thought they were good enough! As a child I was told that children should be seen and not heard, that I should only speak when spoken to and if I did something that went against the grain, I was told to be ashamed of myself - AND I WAS! If I said anything out of place, I had a harsh - WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? thrown my way.

Anyone who did well was shunned as they were termed “full of themselves”.

I was too afraid to come first in class so throughout most of my school life I made sure I would come second, I was a swimmer at school but always made sure I never came first in any race, I was not allowed to grow my hair in case I became good looking!?

And I would probably have gone on being like that but when I became engaged the first year out of school and my mother told me that I would be assured of a good pension because my fiancé worked for the SA Railways, I got the biggest fright! I saw my whole life pass before my eyes, and I just knew that this was not meant for me. I saved what was left of my meagre salary after I had contributed to the finances of the family home and knew that I would run as far away as I could, so that’s how I went off to London aged 19 with absolutely no money and no idea what I was going to do except for the fact that I would have a really good life - one of my own choosing.?

Some people are born with scars, some people develop scars that you can see but how many people do you know who carry those scars inside them, supposedly hidden from the world but manifesting themselves in so many ways during their life.

?When I joined Louise Hay and her team on a cruise out of San Diego many years ago, she told me to look in the mirror and say, “I love you” and do you know that try as I might I just could not do this. The others in the group managed and said that they did but I still could not, until one day I just DECIDED to do it and what a difference it made. I felt the baggage I had carried for years had been taken off my shoulders and I felt free (from myself) for the first time ever.?

It suddenly dawned on me that what other people said or thought about me had nothing to do with me. The thought was theirs and they could keep it. The only thing that really mattered is what I thought about me.?It was a revelation of note - but not easy - I managed to do it one day sitting in front of the mirror. I thought, I am going to do this NOW - so I did, and I have never looked back! These days I do it looking into the computer whilst waiting for other people to join a webinar. Try it - just sitting, waiting, staring at yourself in the computer and tell yourself, this is a good time to do the I LOVE YOU and it works.!

You can’t give an orange to anyone else unless you have one first. By the same token you can’t give love to anyone until you love yourself first, then you can give it away. Like anything else the first few times you do it, it’s difficult. But sooner or later it gets easier and easier and then you wonder why you took so long to do it in the first place.

After the revelation you need to sit and immediately write down all the things you believed about yourself.?I always thought I must be in the wrong - even when I knew I was right. I was taught that it was virtuous to be poor, that rich people were dishonest and unhappy, I was taught that God didn’t want me to be prosperous, that money didn’t grow on trees (what’s money made of -paper where does paper come from - trees!).?

There were so many times that I had been told to be ashamed of myself for minor indiscretions, and now I knew that there was no point in being ashamed. Either you win or you learn!?These were all learning experiences!!

And just when you get yourself right - you have children.?They come without an instruction manual, and you must do the best you can with what you can muster up at the time.?My son was a severe dyslexic at school, and I can remember his Std 2 teacher telling me that he would never amount to anything. However, he is now a self-made multi-millionaire and last year he was invited to Singapore by one of the most prestigious organisations in the world to lecture to over 2000 of the richest and cleverest people in the world. I had taught him the most important lesson, to believe in himself.

My daughter has thanked me for making her into the strong woman that she is today. She inspires all around her and although she is bringing up three boys full time, she still finds time to counsel others and give motivational talks, as well as being an integral part of the family business.

?And then of course you have grandchildren - Gods greatest gift of all!!?

?The Alpha generation is coming up through the ranks - living in an instant society where they can have anything and everything they want in a nanosecond.?They are taught to love themselves from day one, taught that they can do anything, be anyone and have anything their heart desires. They are taught to make decisions from when they are tiny (what would you like for dinner?) and taught to speak out for themselves, be assertive and stand up to bullies. They know how to work everything including AI and Chat Gbt. They speak in public, can play musical instruments in front of the whole school, and think it’s normal to travel the world in the holidays.

The important thing about self-love is that its infinite, if you love yourself what you do impacts so many people in so many ways. Hardly a day goes by that someone I meet doesn’t stop me in the street or write to me to let me know how I have impacted their lives, mostly by showing them through my life how they can have everything they want in their lives and by giving them the strength most of all to believe in themselves.?

I tell everyone to write on the mirror where they brush their teeth twice a day - I AM ENOUGH- because you are enough, you are exactly as God made you, in his image and you need to practice being your best self every day and it starts with looking in the mirror, right into your very own eyes and saying I LOVE YOU!!

OUT LOUD!!

?Much Love,

Margaret Hirsch