THE SELF-INFLICTED WOUND

I recently made one of the biggest bonehead moves of my life.

It was a Friday morning, and I was just wrapping up finishing a document before a team meeting. I had a super-productive morning, and in the afternoon, I was looking forward to getting ahead on some upcoming projects for the following week. It was one minute before the meeting, and I carried my laptop and cup of coffee into the office to settle in.

After setting my open laptop down, I carefully placed my coffee mug on the too-messy desk next to it. A half second too late, I realized that the coffee had not been placed on a flat surface. You guessed it: there went my entire cup of coffee across my open laptop.

I raced into the kitchen to grab a roll of paper towels. I did my best to mop up the pool of coffee on the computer as well as the massive puddle across my desk as well as remnants that dripped through to the floor. I hopped on the virtual meeting, and miraculously, the computer still worked.

Halfway through the meeting, my screen went dark. A few minutes later, after a couple futile attempts to revive my computer, I made the call to IT. Shortly after, I was on my way to the office to get a replacement. After putting in a half day PTO submission for the lost time, my vision of my productive Friday had been fried, much like the motherboard of my laptop.

Fortunately, I was able to salvage a few extra hours in the afternoon, but it was truly a debacle. While at other times in life it is easy to make an excuse about an external cause for a setback, I immediately acknowledged that this was 1000% on me. It was the quintessential self-inflicted wound.

On the drive home, I realized that the self-inflicted wound is probably more common than any of us would care to admit. I can’t speak for anyone else, but if I take an honest look in the mirror, the truth is that that I am often my own worst enemy.

Here is my list of the five most common causes of self-inflicted wounds. While I suffer from some more than others, I have been guilty of all of them. Beyond the obvious choice to keep my coffee away from my laptop, this experience gave me the opportunity to assess how I can avoid similar land mines in the future.?

NUMBER ONE: POOR PLANNING

When I thought about it, this was the root cause for the coffee-laptop caper. One could conclude that it was efficient that I was cranking on an important document right up until the last minute, using every last ounce of time until the next meeting. On the other hand, had I simply set an alarm for five minutes before the meeting, I would have been able to make a proper transition from one task to the other. When I do it right, proactive planning makes me more successful in managing the variables I can control – like choosing not to carry my laptop and coffee at the same time!

NUMBER TWO: BEING LATE

This is a twin-sibling of poor planning. In my mind, nothing says, “I value my time more than yours” than showing up late. In my personal life, I often hear family and friends attribute their lateness to factors such as traffic or the weather when showing up late for a sporting event or family dinner. The hard truth is that the same people are typically late for everything!

The best way to attack lateness is to reverse-engineer the process. For an example, I recently joined a new gym. Since I choose to work out in the morning, I know I need to be back at my house by a certain time so I can feed and walk the dog before work. This means I need to account for all the steps to get there – from waking up, to getting dressed and brushing teeth, to packing a bag, to driving to the gym, finishing my warm-up, working out, and driving home.

After experimenting for a few weeks, I realized I had to race through and shortcut my workout to stay on track to keep Gus on schedule. The simple solve? Wake up fifteen minutes earlier. Now that I made this discovery, I have more than enough time.? My next area for growth is to solve this in the workday; packing too many meetings back-to-back without enough transition time is my culprit, so a better reverse-engineering process can solve this easily.

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NUMBER THREE: DISORGANIZATION

Disorganization is a silent efficiency killer. In my personal life, I know I have been guilty of wasting time due to this malady. Hunting for my airpods. Forgetting a bank password and having to suffer through the “retrieve password” process with nine levels of two-factor authentication. Redoing a document because I didn’t have a clear file path for storage. Having a “gotcha” moment remembering a change in an after-school event for Annie and Lily. For me, I know logically that taking the Abraham Lincoln approach to “sharpen the axe” before cutting down the tree would be wise, but I am just not there yet.

I recently heard one of the most groundbreaking ideas on organization from Natalie Ellis, Co-Founder and CEO of BossBabe. Her idea? Build an information hub. By investing the time and energy up front to organize your life - schedules, passwords, documents, key contacts, recurring payments, and more – you save incredible time and frustration downstream. While I would probably rage against the machine to spend the initial time to do this, I know the value-add would be tremendous. In the meantime, I’ll start small by remembering to take my airpods out of my pocket each night and place them on my dresser before bed!

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At the end of October, our family had a milestone when my twin daughters celebrated their B’Not Mitzvah. In the leadup to the event, one of their former teachers, Mr. Fink, had been instrumental in guiding the girls on their project to raise funds for St. Hubert’s, a local animal welfare center. He opened the door to a contact at a local pet shop that allowed us to sell baked goods outside the pet store, and he gave them plenty of nuggets of encouragement along the way.

After the B’Not Mitzvah, I said to myself, “I really need to write him a proper hand-written thank you note.” I know a well-written email is nice, but to me, a thoughtful thank you means so much more. We plowed into the next week and barreled through November, finishing the simultaneous soccer and cross-country seasons. Thanksgiving came and went, and then, the December push was upon us. Realizing I still had this long-overdue to-do on my list, I made a non-negotiable decision I would get it done a cold December Wednesday. As I walked into the Bagel Chateau to get my morning coffee, who did I see? There was Mr. Fink. We had a very nice discussion for a few minutes as I profusely thanked him in person, but I was beside myself. I had really blown it. I finished up the note that day and had my girls bring it to him a few days later, but by waiting so long, I know I weakened the impact of the note. I could assuage myself with a “better late than never” platitude, but the truth is that I really missed an opportunity. This one has an easy remedy: get important stuff done right away!

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NUMBER FIVE: DISTRACTION

Let’s face it: multi-tasking is a myth. Yeah, you can do two things at once, but you’re not doing either one at full capacity. If you don’t believe me, take a peek at the texting and driving statistics; they are roughly the same as driving under the influence. At the gym on Friday morning, I was setting a timer between sets while walking so I could maximize my step count. What happened as I set the timer? I literally walked right into a pole. I stumbled awkwardly and regained my balance; fortunately, the only injury I suffered was a bruised ego.

Today’s world is moving FAST. We have never been more bombarded with simultaneous distractions coming from multiple channels, and I think it’s only going to grow. I’ve come to recognize that focus is a superpower when you can harness it, and distraction is the kryptonite. This is probably the hardest solve of them all, and while there are probably multiple ways to address it, from turning off unnecessary notifications to moving unnecessary devices from your field of awareness, to me, it comes down to a choice: can I commit, before each activity, to give my fullest and best attention to the current task at hand? When I am able to do that, I am most likely to produce at my best.

I hope this list provides you with some insights! For me, it all starts with self-awareness and ownership of where I can grow. I’m not going to proclaim that from this day forward, I commit to solving 100% of these in perpetuity. What I will do is commit to moving the needle on each of these killers. If I can do that every day, I know 2024 will be a pretty awesome year!

#selfinflictedwounds #lessonslearned #preparation #punctuality #organization #priorities #focus #forgeyourpath