Self improvement Is Not A To-Do List

Stop Living Your Life on A “Not”

Type A personalities—let’s face it, most entrepreneurs and professionals—live by the to-do list. Checklists help keep deadlines and structure, especially when all hell breaks loose during the day. Too many items on that list, though, can bind the creative spirit. If you seek validation from listing and then completing items on your list, you feel the emotional equivalent of walking in mud.

This is the bane of the self-employed, especially those who have transitioned out of the corporate world where every hour gets billed or calculated in some measurement of one’s worth. The stigma remains to show productivity and worth, even when the business is our own, and especially while we are building a business that may not yet have concrete numbers to show profitability.

The stigma remains to show productivity and worth, even when the business is our own. . .

Sadly, we approach life changes like our checklist, making items for our growth and progress something that must be done to feel better about our lives or selves.

Meditation. Check.

Green smoothie. Check.

Trendy new self-improvement course lingo learned. Check.

Then, we up the ante. Not only did we meditate, but did we also do it for at least 15 minutes twice a day? Did we do what x successpreneur did according to the latest trending article or podcast?

This is where people become trapped in a merry-go-round cycle of comparison. Many well-meaning articles on self improvement, self-development, or growth rely upon the premise that something is wrong that needs to be fixed immediately.

We grow ourselves and our business like a seed we plant.

You and your life are not things to be fixed. We grow ourselves and our business like a seed we plant. Other people may not see the emerging tendrils slowly taking root to form the foundation of the majestic tree. Yet, if you viewed your life as a seed, you would appreciate each process as a necessary unfolding. At the end of life we do not get an award for Fastest Self-Improvement or Biggest Spiritual Growth. Every moment and every result perfects the moment, including the struggle. A seedling struggles from its protective shell to extend its roots for the next stage. “Five Quick N’ Easy Steps to Enlightenment” are not necessary if we see the enlightenment in this moment.

Use others’ achievements and processes for inspiration, not comparison. Some ideas may resonate with yours, but listen first to your inner voice. Otherwise you are living on a ‘not’:

"You are either doing x or you are ‘not’ [insert arbitrary label]."

"You must follow abc process so you will ‘not’ have z results."

"You must follow this process so you do ‘not’ end up a failure."

We spend so much time trying to learn from others’ mistakes or successes that we forget the reason we became entrepreneurs in the first place. We are creative beings, and that means we carve our own path to success on our terms.

Now, if you are an artist and web design is not your forte, either take the courses and learn programming or hire an expert. Educate yourself from the inspiration of what others know, but recognize where you best shine, too. Rather than expend your creative resources learning Ruby on Rails, let another talented artist in that medium share her creative light with you and the world.

Our daily life resembles a garden of ideas we have planted. We may want to clean up our garden or be more deliberate with the seeds we plant. A wild garden has its charm, certainly, but too many weeds of negativity can overtake or choke out the beauty. Don’t water the seeds of negativity. If you want to be a master gardener, and it has been a while since you tended your plants and flowers, you may be sweating a bit and getting dirty. That, of course, is the fun when unveiling the majestic spirit you already are.

Nicole D. Mignone is an attorney, Professional Questioner, and a Business Transformation Guide, helping solopreneurs and business professionals transform body, mind, and business. For more information, visit Minding Your Own Business on Facebook or on YouTube.