Self-Improvement Is Only One Part Of The Journey

Umuzi Pulse brought to you by Sarah Lawson

To succumb to AI and technological advancement or forgo society and become a homesteader? To enter a marathon and kiss soft Saturdays goodbye or swerve the cult-ish trend and stick to the oh-so-comfortable 5km park runs? To live ravenously for oneself in pursuit of inner peace since that could inevitably be all that matters, or embark on a journey of understanding people to A) improve things for them, or B) make money off of them?

I bet, and will probably face charges for these bold assumptions, that I am not the only person who has considered one, if not all, of the above scenarios, and I’ve had it! This exponential phenomenon of striving to maximize human potential has somewhat stopped me in my tracks of late, leaving me desperately seeking out an alternative. A place of rest, a moment to find peace in that self-improvement might not be the all-inclusive recipe for a successful life that’s being sold and curated on every corner of the internet in the modern world...

I often ask people the question of whether or not they think the world is generally getting better or worse overall - and no, that’s not my innate need to psychoanalyze every person I meet in an attempt to better understand life and how to optimize it. Or maybe it is, but that’s beside the point.?

There are, of course, varying responses and perspectives to the question. There are some exclamations that ‘this is the best time to be alive!’, that human rights have never been so liberated, that there is far less struggle for humankind than before. There is also the darker side of the moon, more frequently populated with commentary about the declining state of the environment (should we not turn things around), the state of politics (literally anywhere) or a more personal reflection of nihilism that we won’t get into today. (But soon ;) )

I took to considering my stance as well - as a point of information for my conversational research - since I am, like everyone else, subject to my perception and that too is valid. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as indoctrinated as the rest of them. But after a cycle of whole foods and endorphins and Andrew Huberman’s life advice and no glucose spikes and run clubs and staring the sun in the eye to fire up the brain neurons and (believe me I could go on) - I am no more okay or content or at peace, rather I just have a shiny Instagram page and some warped perceptions of the space I take up in the world. I feel like I've always been quite a high-functioning, sensitive soul in the world, so I am no stranger to the cult-factory of striving. And it’s tricky, right? There’s a lot of dopamine to be found in achieving things, ticking things off, getting things done and on top of that, receiving boatloads of affirmation from the surrounding environment. I mean, who isn’t inspired by greatness, by discipline, by someone who seems to have it all figured out?

Lately, I’ve observed an interesting dichotomy in the more quiet moments that come in cases like this, in writing and reflection. How I FEEL about myself and life at the end of the day, with only the glamorous achievements to account for, is empty. Amidst all these functions of self-improvement, be it the hard-working ethic, the audacious fitness goals, the clean diet and the subbing out for downtime with something I’ve since coined productive rest - there’s an overwhelming feeling of discontent in my bones. Of fatigue. Something is missing, something insatiable in the appetite of striving that cannot be nourished by improvement alone.

But I digress.?

The point, in this case, is perhaps linked to some wonky statistics I’ve read lately, concluding that while intellectual abilities, consciousness and access to education - amongst other human optimize-y things - have drastically increased as technology and humankind advance, there is an opposing sentiment that feels less favourable. That people are not all that happy*. (This is a euphemism. The kids are not all right, and you’ll need to trust me on this.)?

* ’Happy’ is defined loosely here, take it as global levels of contentment or okayness.?

I am interested in re-looking at the parts of life that make up the cohesive whole we experience every day, in experimenting with bringing wonder and acceptance into the picture in an attempt to not lose the next 10 years to the self-improvement gods.? Maybe there isn’t a clear answer as to what the alternative might be - and that’s okay. All we need to know for now is that the current modus operandi isn’t serving the people and, in line with the trajectory of human advancement not directly impacting human contentment, something is missing. Maybe self-improvement is only one part of the journey, after all.?

I am 24 years old, and what a time to be a young person in the world, it's true! Is it better or is it worse? I’m not sure. But I am sure that the pressures to do more, be more, and see more are having a catastrophic effect on young people today.? All it takes to turn that around is an awareness that there is light at the end of the tunnel of striving, and that light might look a little different to the TikTok bible of excellence making up a significant chunk of our collective experience.?