Self-Imposed Roadblocks

I was recently serving at an event with more than 2000 coaches and consultants in the room. They were attending a Personal Growth Day, with many staying over for two additional days of business development training. People from all over the globe were there to learn how to rise to their full potential.

But, in private conversations, many of them admitted were stuck.

So, in true coaching form, I asked them a two-part question that required they "go within" and find the answer to their problem themselves:

"Why are you stuck? What's holding you back from taking action?"

The answers were wide-ranging.

For some, it was a lack of time or money. For others, it was fear of stepping into the unknown. For others, it was self-doubt or a lack of belief in themselves.

Some cited family responsibilities or family issues while others cited fear of judgment or ridicule. Some said they were still lacking in clarity or struggling with feelings of overwhelm.

A few admitted they were hung up on perfectionism, it had to be "just right" before they were willing to step up and step out in the unknown.

I found their answers fascinating, and then took them deeper with my next coaching question:

"And why do you see this as a problem or a roadblock?"

I wanted them to come to the realization these were not problems, but excuses. We will always struggle to balance time, money, and family, At times, we all question ourselves, lack clarity, struggle with doubt, and we want what we're doing to be perfect. It's part of the human existence.

How we manage these individual challenges determines the level of success we will experience in our lives.

What I wanted these amazing men and women to realize is that the things they believe are holding them back are excuses. They are self-imposed roadblocks, saboteurs of success, that are holding them back from taking action and doing what they dream of doing.

For example, many of these coaches and consultants cited time as a problem. As we explored the time element, what it came down to through a series of thought-provoking questions is that time wasn't the issue. It was the inefficient use of the 24 hours they had been given that day.

It's a self-imposed roadblock of not wisely managing ourselves throughout the day, failing to prioritize the important things, and allowing ourselves to get caught up in the minutia of busyness that can hijack our productivity.

How often do we do that?

We take a break from working on a high-priority task and the next thing we know, we've blown an hour mindlessly scrolling through our phone checking messages, updating our status, and getting sucked into the highly addictive world of social media.

A self-imposed roadblock.

The same can be said for money. Is it truly a lack of money, or more how we prioritize our spending and saving? What I've found over many years in this business is that we always find a way to pay for what's truly important to us. So, it begs the question, how important is this calling, this passion, this business, or whatever it is that you say you want to launch right now?

Are we self-sabotaging our own success?

I find it interesting that several of the excuses we make are emotional in nature. Self-imposed roadblocks of doubt, fear, or insecurity. Feelings of being inadequate, unprepared, or overwhelmed. Questioning our value or worth.

Anytime we venture into the unknown, we're going to experience a variety of emotions. We're attempting to do something new, for the very first time. Sure, we're going to be anxious, maybe a bit fearful or afraid. This is normal.

But the question is whether or not we use these emotions as an excuse, a self-imposed roadblock, that prevents us from moving forward.

So, what's really going on?

What's really holding you back?

The common denominator is all of these so-called challenges that are holding you back from success stares back at you in the mirror every morning.

You're not moving forward because you're impeding your own way.

YOU are the one who is erecting these roadblocks to success.

Think about this for a minute.

Who is responsible for managing or mismanaging the 24 hours you've been given every single day? Who is responsible for prioritizing your spending so the money you need to launch a new endeavor is there when you need it? Who chooses to dwell on the negative emotions of fear, inadequacy, and doubt and give them a voice?

That person is YOU.

When it comes to continually procrastinating, thinking everything has to be perfect before you launch, or worrying about what other people are going to think or say when you walk away from a job you hate to start a business you're passionate about, who's putting those roadblocks to success in your way?

YOU are.

One of the lessons my dad taught me early in life is that we forge our own roads in life. We pick up the machete, we beat a path through the jungle of life, and we get to choose how we nagivate our way to where it is we want to go.

But that also means that we get to choose when we stop forging the path, the detours we choose to take, and the roadblocks we erect that prohibit us from moving forward. We can actually say "NO" to our success, limit our potential, by erecting barriers of our own making that hold us back.

We can, and often do, sabotage our own success.

One of my favorite quotes from my mentor, Dr. John Maxwell, is his definition of success. Dr. John says success is:

1. Knowing your purpose in life.
2. Growing to your full potential.
3. Sowing seeds to benefit others.

What I find ironic is how many of us actually know what our purpose is, what we've been called to do, but we get stuck on Step 2 because of the self-imposed roadblocks we erect in our own way. As a result, we never grow to our full potential and fail to move on to Step 3.

But we love excuses.

Excuses are an attempt to justify our unwillingness to say, do, or become something more. It's easier to make an excuse, and cast the blame elsewhere, than it is to be candid with ourselves and admit the real reason we are stuck, where we are, as we are, is self-inflicted.

Excuses are self-imposed roadblocks, holding us back from the success we say that we want for ourselves.

Another of my mentors, Chris Robinson, puts it quite bluntly when he says, "It's not that you can't. It's that you won't. And that choice is yours."

There's a LOT of truth in that statement.

When you make an excuse, you're attempting to blame time, money, family, fear, doubt, insecurity, or overwhelm as a justification as to why you can't do something. But as we've already seen, these pathetic attempts to rationalize why we can't are simply an attempt to mask what we are really saying, "I won't."

Now, here's some good news.

If you're guilty of building self-imposed roadblocks that are sabotaging your own success, you can tear down these roadblocks just as easily as you erected them in the first place. It's a CHOICE, and one you and I get to make each day.

Any roadblock you put up can also be pulled down.

You can choose how effectively you manage and use the 24 hours in a day you've been given. You can choose how you prioritize your spending and saving to create the funding necessary to step into your calling and make a difference.

We get to choose the voices we are amplifying in our brains and whether or not we will listen to the negative emotions of fear, doubt, and insecurity and give them power over our lives or not.

We can stop making excuses, and using them as a self-imposed roadblock that limits us from growing into our full potential. Instead, we can choose to tear down those obstacles in our lives, step into the greatness we've been called to, and grow into our maximum potential.

We can stop sabotaging our own success.

It starts with asking the questions I posed earlier in this article:

"Why are you stuck? What's holding you back from taking action?"

"And why do you see this as a problem or a roadblock?"

It requires that we be genuine, honest, and transparent with ourselves. We must recognize excuses for what they are, self-imposed roadblocks limiting our success, and stop erecting them in our path. And we must take responsibility for our excuse-making choices and commit to never do that again.

How many self-imposed roadblocks have you erected, impeding your pathway to success and significance? That's a question only you can answer.

But the good news is by asking these simple questions, and being honest with yourself, you can identify these self-saboteurs in your life, tear down these self-imposed roadblocks, and begin anew on the path to grow yourself to your maximum potential.