Self-image, Attitude and Success

SELF-IMAGE, ATTITUDE AND SUCCESS

SELF-IMAGE is the way we see ourselves in our minds. People perceive reality a certain way and then behave accordingly. Everything that we do in life is based on the way we see ourselves. All of our experiences (successful, embarrassments, failures, victories, and our relationships with others) comprise our self-image.

We tend to accept the way we view ourselves as the truth. If you are told something negative we tend to believe this. If you are told something positive we tend to believe this. Our self-image is like a tree that grows from many things. On our “tree” we plant things like our thoughts, our parents’ comments and judgments, our educators’ comments and judgments, our friends’ comments and judgments and life’s experiences as we viewed them

Joel Wells, in his book, Who Do You Think You Are says that “Our self-image is dictated by others, put together over the years in bits and pieces. Parents, childhood playmates and schoolmates, teachers, relatives, athletic coaches, friends, fellow workers, bosses, ministers, priests, and rabbis all contribute.”

People in our lives either have a negative or positive effect on our self-image. I can still remember the sixth grade when Miss Boggs fell down the steps and everybody clapped. It was difficult to feel sorry for Miss Boggs, since every chance she had, she was putting a student down. It was not a “nice thing” to do when people chose to clap, but she had been a negative force in so many of these students’ lives.

We must not allow others’ opinions to form the vision we have of ourselves. When people are not supportive toward us, this is their opinion, and not necessarily the truth.

We can listen and examine whether there may be truth to what they say, but ultimately, we need to know ourselves and hold ourselves in high-esteem.

SELF IMAGES can be changed. It is not what other people say you are that should hold you back. Opinions are not actual truths.

We can listen and examine to see whether there is truth to what others say, but ultimately, we need to know ourselves and hold ourselves in high-esteem.

From the time we were children, others have given us labels.

As a child, I was called “four-eyes,” “cross-eyed” and “stupid.” How can you feel good about yourself with comments like these?

These are defining statements and difficult to forget. Labels tend to be negative.

If someone would have labeled me “brilliant” I would have liked that!

And, perhaps if I saw myself that way, I would have accomplished earlier in life. 

We also label ourselves. We can change our negative labels to positive ones. For example, we can think this way:

NEGATIVE: “I can’t boil water.” 

POSITIVE: “Cooking is not enjoyable for me.”

NEGATIVE: “I have a terrible memory.”

POSITIVE: “I will purchase a tape to learn how to improve my memory.”

NEGATIVE: “I can never find anything.” 

POSITIVE: “It’s time for me to become more organized.”

NEGATIVE “I had such bad luck. I wear a dark cloud around me.”

POSITIVE: I’m going to make good choices from now on. If something happens, I’ll accept it and move on.”

NEGATIVE: “I can’t do that.” 

POSITIVE:      “I can do that.”

Your self-talk can be extremely effective. If you tell yourself you cannot do something, there is a good chance you will not be able to. There is something about telling yourself positive things that helps positive things to come your way. Try this; it works! Attitude is the first step in achieving something. You will be on your way to achieving success if you believe you can be successful. In order to be successful, you must develop a self-image that is positive.

Then, your behavior will move in this direction as well.

Attitudes are a way of looking at life. Most of a person’s choices throughout their life are guided by their attitudes. Our attitudes determine our purpose and direction for life, and will impel us to action or not. We will most always follow the road that will fulfill our attitudes and what we believe in.

Always keep in mind that your attitudes are formed by your belief system. For example, I hear, I observe, I experience. You see this experience as either positive or negative.

We hear and experience something happening.

We process the event against our beliefs instantly and unconsciously.

We label it positive, negative, or even indifferent.

We, then express how we feel by our behaviors.

Charles Swindoll felt this way about attitude.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstance, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness of skill.

“It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

“We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Successful people know that worry, anger, and depression can destroy their imagination and desire. Successful people have a very clear picture of themselves achieving their goals. Your dreams and hopes will shape your world and visualize achieving their goals. Sports figures can hear the crowd cheering; Journalists can see their stories published; Great Actors can see themselves winning awards.

Someone who will become a winner sees himself or herself as a winner no matter what setbacks or obstacles come in their way. Queen Victoria said, “The important thing is not what they think of me; it is what I think of them.”

Successful people control their self-images and changed them when needed. Many of us, including me, did not have a good self-image as a child. 

We cannot continue to blame people who “did the best they could” with what they had and who they were. We cannot change them, but we can change ourselves.

After doing terribly in high school (I’m sure they graduated me just to get me out of the school) and flunking out of college after one year, I decided to change my self-image.

I went to a counselor, got tested for intelligence, found out that I was in the superior range of intelligence, received a grant, and went on to successfully complete two years of college. This was a milestone for me.

I had succeeded at something!