Self Help or Helping Others – which is your default?

I recently heard a clip from an interview with Simon Sinek (author and leadership guru) at a Christian Ministry Leadership Conference from a few years ago. He made the comment that the conference bookshop had lots of self-help books but nothing on helping others.

That made me sit up and pay attention and immediately made me think about the role of consultants and organisation leaders and how we are called to help others, whether clients, our management reports or other colleagues. The challenge being what are we doing to help others, across the board, and is it enough. What more can and should we be doing?

The more I have reflected on this, however, I realise that self-help is not an enemy of helping others but is indeed the supporting foundation. If we cannot help ourselves, how can we help others? We should be the best ‘me’ that we can be, in order to help ‘you’ be the best you can.

It is interesting, to me at least, that this insight came from hearing something at a Christian conference, after all Jesus did say that we should love others as we love ourselves. Put this another way and it could be ‘help others in the way you help yourself’.

Where does this leave us in answering the question in the title? For some the default will be self-help for others helping others. My thinking is both are not only of equal value but without self-help we cannot help others, therefore a dual focus is essential.

For many years my focus was almost exclusively on helping others, in every area of life. I enjoy nothing more than helping others succeed especially younger people or those disadvantaged in some way. I did this to the detriment of my own personal learning and development. 

Only since becoming a consultant almost ten years ago have I found the joy and benefit in self-help. I had so much to learn, not just theories and methods of being an organisation consultant but how to handle and present my ‘self’ so called self as instrument.  

Today I am still learning, and I intend to continue doing so for the rest of my days.

The big point though is that as I have developed myself so my skills in helping others have been improved and sharpened.

My hope in writing this is that I not only inspire you to help others in every way you can, especially those around in your workplace but that you also re-kindle the flame of self-help which for many may have gone out due to the pressures and busyness of life.

Make a decision today on something you are going to do for self-help and to help others and don’t do anything else until you have taken some action to start the ball rolling.

All the very best

John Taylor

P.S. If you would like to discuss this or any other work challenges then please schedule a FREE consultation meeting to talk with myself or one of my Tricordant colleagues