Self-Help Books Did Not Help Me Change My Life in 2019. These Books Did

Why reading fiction was more beneficial for my growth in 2019

In the last two years, I’ve been a bit of a self-help junkie. I’ve read and listened to dozens of books, articles, and podcasts, and I’ve shared my own findings in stories, articles, and essays. But, the more I learn about this world, the more literature I digest, the more knowledge I consume, the more I feel like advice has gotten repetitive, and it is now up to me to change my life based on interpretation and implementation, as opposed to being told what to do by various different self-help books.

My personal development in 2019 has had nothing to do with personal development books.

Rather, I’ve read a number of different fiction books that have allowed me to fully immerse myself in the story, relate to the characters and realize what hidden messages are sprinkled throughout that reveal how we should best live our lives. The following three books have taught me different messages about life that I would not be able to feel in the same way as the traditional self-help model.

1. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

This book tells a captivating story about the possibility of alternate realities and those realities getting intertwined for better or worse. It’s creative, it’s exhilarating, and it’s one of the most intense stories I have ever read.

The lesson: This book tells the story of what currently is, versus what could be. It forces you to think about your life and your decisions and carefully consider what choices you make that will create the life you deserve to live. You will walk away from this book thinking, “Am I truly doing what is within my power to live and be the best version of myself in every situation?”

2. The Next Person You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

In this long-awaited sequel to The Five People You Meet in Heaven, the protagonist, Annie, suffers a tragic accident and is forced to relive her entire life’s memories as she explores her meaning and impact in this world. It is gripping, it is emotional, and it will make you think about your own life from the perspective of death.

The lesson: With Mitch Albom’s books and interpretation of the afterlife, I always have an urge to reveal the biggest lesson as something along the lines of every single moment counts in our own lives. This is true, but I think there is a different message here with this book as well. Every moment counts in other people’s lives. We have and will make profound impacts on many different people’s lives as we go about our own, and it should be our mission to enrich these lives as beautifully as possible.

3. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

This book follows four college classmates as they gallivant around New York City in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships are plagued by addiction, pride, and varying definitions of success, these friends will teach you what it’s like to create a family when you may not have one.

The lesson: The quality of our relationships trumps the quantity of the relationships that we have. In our lives, it may seem appealing to try and meet and connect with as many people as possible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. But it is imperative to have a select few, a core group of people whose friendship goes beyond that and extends into family.

Final Thought

Reading fiction opens up our minds to new ideas, new characters, new experiences, and new lessons about our own lives. Personal development and self-help are great, but in order to sustain your development and live the life of your dreams, you must start creating your own takeaways from the books that you read. This will enable you to have the life you desire as opposed to the life somebody else desires for you.

Before You Leave

Click here to download three free chapters of my upcoming novel about finding meaning and purpose, “The Journey to Cloud Nine!”