Self-Harm in Children and Teens: Signs, Causes, and How to Help

Self-Harm in Children and Teens: Signs, Causes, and How to Help

When a child or teenager deliberately hurts themselves, it's a deeply alarming sign that they're struggling with immense emotional pain. Self-harm, also known as non-suicidal self-injury or NSSI, is a serious issue that requires understanding, compassion, and immediate professional intervention. This article aims to shed light on the complexities of self-harm, dispel common misconceptions, and offer guidance for parents, caregivers, and anyone concerned about a young person in their life.

What is Self-Harm

Non-suicidal self-injury is the act of intentionally harming oneself without the intent to end one's life. It can take many forms, including:

  • Cutting: The most commonly recognized form of self-harm.
  • Burning: Inflicting burns on the skin.
  • Scratching: Scratching oneself to the point of drawing blood or leaving marks.
  • Hitting or punching: Striking oneself or objects.
  • Hair-pulling (Trichotillomania): Compulsively pulling out one's hair.
  • Interfering with wound healing: Picking at scabs or reopening wounds.

It's crucial to understand that NSSI is distinct from suicidal behavior. However, research indicates that long-term engagement in self-harm can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and actions. Therefore, any form of self-harm should be taken seriously as a cry for help.

Why Do Young People Self-Harm?

There is no single, straightforward answer to why children and teens engage in self-harm. It's often a complex and multifaceted issue stemming from a combination of factors. Here are some potential reasons:

  • Coping with overwhelming emotions: Self-harm can be a way to manage intense feelings of sadness, anger, emptiness, loneliness, or guilt.
  • Feeling out of control: When life feels chaotic or unpredictable, self-harm might offer a sense of control over one's body or emotions.
  • Difficulty expressing feelings: Some young people struggle to verbalize their pain, turning to self-harm as an outlet.
  • Self-punishment: Individuals with low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness may inflict pain as punishment.
  • Trauma: Self-harm can be a way of coping with past trauma or abuse.

It's important to dispel the myth that self-harm is simply attention-seeking behavior. While some may view it as a dramatic cry for help, it's usually rooted in genuine distress.

Signs of Self-Harm

Recognizing the signs of self-harm can be challenging, as young people often go to great lengths to hide their behavior. Here are some potential indicators:

  • Physical signs: Unexplained cuts, bruises, burns, or scars, particularly on the wrists, arms, thighs, or stomach. Wearing long sleeves or pants even in warm weather to conceal injuries. Frequent use of bandages or first-aid supplies.
  • Behavioral changes: Isolation and withdrawal from friends and activities. Changes in mood, including irritability, anger, or signs of depression. Difficulty regulating emotions. Low self-esteem or expressing feelings of worthlessness.

Keep in mind that these signs might also point to other underlying issues. Therefore, it's essential to seek professional assessment rather than jumping to conclusions.

How to Help a Child Who Might Be Self-Harming

If you suspect a child or teen in your life is self-harming, taking swift action is crucial. Here's how you can help:

  • Don't ignore it: Hoping the behavior will resolve itself is not a viable strategy. Self-harm often indicates significant underlying distress that requires professional support.
  • Talk to the child: Find a quiet and private time to express your concern. Start by saying, "I've noticed you seem to be struggling. I care about you very much, and I want to help." Listen without judgment, and let them know you are there for them.
  • Seek professional help: Contact the child's pediatrician, a therapist, or a mental health specialist immediately. They can diagnose underlying conditions, discuss treatment options, and create a safety plan.
  • Prepare for the conversation: Gather resources like hotline numbers or websites that you can share with the child or explore together.

Treatment and Support

Treatment for self-harm focuses on addressing the root causes and teaching healthy coping mechanisms. Here's what it might involve:

  • Therapy: Therapy is a cornerstone of treatment. Approaches like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help young people understand their thought patterns, develop emotional regulation skills, and find healthier alternatives to self-harm. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is also highly effective, focusing on distress tolerance, mindfulness, and healthy interpersonal relationships.
  • Medication: In some cases, medication may be prescribed to treat underlying conditions like depression or anxiety, which can contribute to self-harm behaviors.
  • Family support: Family therapy can be vital in helping parents understand self-harm, learn effective support strategies, and improve communication within the family.
  • Support groups: Support groups for both teens and their caregivers offer a safe space to connect with others facing similar challenges, reducing isolation and fostering a sense of community.


Self-harm is a complex issue with no easy answers, but it's important to remember that recovery is possible. With professional treatment, support, and the development of coping skills, young people can learn to manage their emotional pain in healthier ways and build fulfilling lives.

Parents and caregivers are not alone in this journey. Seeking help is a sign of strength and love, and it can make all the difference in the life of a struggling child.


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