The Self-Growth Fallacy.

We've been in this place before. Lofty goals, high expectations and even some initial strong momentum or forward progress.

Here’s the thing about growth. For most of us - we envision it like a plant. To grow, we stretch and bloom towards the sun. A difficult, albeit linear process. There is struggle and strife but we go in one direction. After all, plants don’t grow an inch and then shrink half an inch overnight do they?

When it comes to us humans I wish this were true.

Our self-growth is more like that of an elastic band.

We work and stretch and strain. We make improvements.

And then boom we rebound! Right back to where we were!?

For example, we save $10,000 just to see it vanish in a shopping spree or on that’ new vehicle lease that we didn’t even want! Or we finally find that special someone, and then start sabotaging the relationship through drinking, or picking arguments.

How many of you have experienced this??I sure have.

And unfortunately, we experience this across different areas of our life.

Gay Hendricks identifies this phenomena in his classic book "The Big Leap: Conquer your Hidden Fears and Take Your Life to the Next Level".

As we make progress financially, finally fall in love, or take strides in creative endeavours we subconsciously run into our "Upper Limit". The place where we're no longer comfortable with how well life is going!

Like the rubber band, rebounding with great force - we humans crash back down after these initial gains.

The problem is that this force is largely unconscious. We’re unaware of the discomfort, we experience with growth, and because this discomfort remains unconscious we self sabotage right back to where we were before.?

And we’re left frustrated, spent and tired.

We’re wondering what the heck just happened??

Something to reflect on:

I want you to pause and think of a time in your life where you grew, made changes or positive strides, only to wake some time later and find yourself right back where you were.

A. What did this progress say about me?

B. In what way did my success bring discomfort?

C. Was I aware of the discomfort?

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Welcome to the Growth Room Newsletter

Every week I drop insights, and lessons learned from inside the walls of my life as a therapist. I reflect on my own life experience as an entrepreneur, lifelong student, and all the ways I've fallen flat on my face in school, business and relationships. All of these experiences have led to fruitful insights into my own psychology and human nature that I can't wait to share.

I'm so glad you're here.

Rankyn