Self-esteem: 3 Ways to Unlock the Sober Mind

There are thousands of reasons folks these days find themselves locked in the unfortunate cycle of substance abuse and are living entirely without self-esteem. It is worth spending time?deconstructing?the reasons we were catapulted into addiction. However, in this article, we will assume the readers have mapped out, at least, a general foundation of understanding their own “nature vs. nurture” dichotymy when it comes to addiction.

How Should We Approach Self-Esteem?

Are you ready for a hard right turn? Self-Esteem, as a general idea in today’s society, is fabricated bullshit.

It is an idea built into the unhelpful, self-help industry. An idea that is manufactured for making people feel better about themselves instantly. Which will, in turn, generate profits. While it is worth noting that a proper amount of postive feelings about ourselves are necessary for basic functionality, it is more important to note that we, in no way, need or deserve to feel spectacular about ourselves at all times. This is the message that is commonly associated with self-esteem. It is also 100% the narrative that got us locked into addiction in the first place.

For a mind that is primed for substance abuse, the narrative that you deserve to feel good about yourself at all times, is high octane gasoline for addiction.

Instead, we can approach the idea with a bit more utility. It’s not about deserving one way or another, the idea is we have value regardless of our own opinion or anyone else’s opinon on the matter. Because the nature of existence lacks the faculty of choice, in a very real sense, no one deserves anything, good or bad. You are here and you are a part of society. Therefore you have value. What’s more is that you have an adult responsibility to uphold that value in ways that are entirely separate for how you feel.

Technique #1 – Re-Framing Value

As fools who are now sober, we don’t go to the gym because we want to look and feel better. We go to the gym because we have value and utility in society. A healthy body and mind is necessary to maintain positive output in society. Looking and feeling better are subsequent outcomes of gym attendance, not the primary goal. Quite frankly, we have to make up for those of us who still have not recognized this facet of maturity.

We don’t educate ourselves to feel superior to our fellow man. We should, however, educate ourselves because we have the responsibility of not being dumb, as valuable members of society. The list goes on.

Self-Esteem,?properly understood, is the supreme confidence that our value has no bearing on how we feel, or how others feel, our own opinion, or the opinion of another. We have work to do simply by being thrust into this frosty existence.

Technique #2 – Routine

If you are going to climb a mountain, you have to start with the first step. In sobriety, it is of utmost importance to take this process one day at a time. If we understand the narratives that brought us into addiction, we have a good idea of what will bring us out. Staying out of addiction, however, is the primary goal of this entire process.

The only thing tried and true when it comes to maintaining sobriety, is routine. Day in and day out, we take it one step at a time, and we beat on our craft consistently and daily. There is something inherently meditative about our routine.

Building a functional and solid routine will keep our insasitable minds from wondering and focused on the next goal. It is said in many sobriety circles, if you don’t know what to do, just do the next right thing. I hold this to be supremely true.

Set your routine, and stick to it.

Technique #3 – Pragmatic Goal Setting

Would you feel better about yourself if you made a million dollars this year? You absolutely would.

Along with the idea that re-framing value as axiomatic and setting a good routine in stone, the next logical step is to set realistic, yet challenging and measurable goals to meet.

It is not reasonable to set a goal for “making a million dollars”, rather, we break it down into its’ most digestable parts.

If one desires to make a million dollars, there are some pre-requisites that must be considered. First, we need a steady income. Then we need education on which investments or jobs to take. Then we need the proper connections in place to solidify those financial vehicles. We then need a good CPA to guide us through any taxes that may be due.

Each lofty goal should be both inspiring enough to keep us focused and motivated enough, but broken down into realistic and measurable sub-goals that will keep progress top of mind, and consistent.

If you need help putting the pieces together in sobriety and setting funcitonal goals, email [email protected]