Self-doubt is a terrible bedfellow.

We unpacked a lot of feelings in this latest episode of Data Fundamentals Unpacked, or should I say I at least unpacked some of my own feelings. We were discussing imposter syndrome – what it is, is it real, etc.

?If you didn’t catch the episode, you can check it out here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/video/event/urn:li:ugcPost:7059176795845128192/

Personally, what I’m still sifting through are wise words and thoughts from Bill Shander and Gini von Courter .?Gini comes in strong with “all external evidence to the contrary” (4:30). Bill lays it down for me “with is it semantics?’ (7:45). So, for the purposes of this newsletter, I thought I would focus on these key points for me.

You can watch the episode, but I was sharing my thoughts on imposter syndrome, and how I don’t believe it, but that I AM IT. Bill mentioned he wonders if it’s just semantics. I just want to thank him for that, because I haven’t been able to stop considering it.

I do feel like the word “imposter” is a negative word. I identity with “self-doubt” more than the word imposter. It feels negative to use the term imposter. I am not an imposter. I am not faking it. I am not tricking anyone.

If it is just semantics, why does this matter? For me, I must actively fight negative self-talk, it’s a battle within myself. So not labeling myself with more negative thoughts, that’s helpful for my mental health.

?As an ambitious person who’s seen what others consider success – “all external evidence to the contrary” resonates. I am beyond grateful to share community and friendship with Gini, and her words of wisdom. I’m never satisfied with anything being enough. Even in writing the first line of this paragraph, comparing what others consider success ... It’s the self-doubt that trumps every time.?

I obviously realize that I have worked hard to be able to provide training all over world. I appreciate that I have authored books on data. However, I can’t stop the knowledge that I don’t know – what I don’t know. I also have this belief that because I am capable of these things – all people are capable.

I have the added challenge, that these feelings are real for me despite people believing it of me. People can’t understand how after all I have accomplished, how could I possibly feel self-doubt?

What many people would see as solid accolades and accomplishments my brain tells me that anyone could have done those things. Again, self-doubt is a terrible bedfellow. It’s coupled with the belief that I’m not special – I’m just skilled.?To be fair, most of my family and closest colleagues tell me I am special, but luckily for the world, I believe we can all do these things – so I teach them. ?

So, if I have so much self-doubt, and relate to the label of imposter syndrome, how do I personally overcome it?

1. I counter my self-talk with a focus on the evidence. I have been successful at sharing technical and data skills. I have spent my career transferring them to others. I can be proud of that because I can see what it’s doing in their lives.
2. I focus on building my skills. To me the number one way to overcome feelings of self-doubt is building my skills. Skills have nothing to do with feelings. They are closer to facts. You can either do something or you can’t.
3. I focus on execution. I commit; I execute. I don’t say I can do something then not do it. To me, especially in business, everything boils down to execution.
4. I go in prepared. I don’t do anything without some form of preparation even if I have done it a thousand times. Even a 15-minute talk includes prep! It varies by event, but I know how much time I need to schedule myself to be prepared.
5. I accept myself for who I am. ?I know myself. I allow myself to have my feelings. I don’t deny them – that makes it worse for me if I do. I embrace them and then coach myself through my coping mechanisms.

There is just still so much to unpack, but I do hope you find it helpful to either realize you are not alone, or that others might have feelings you don’t have. Either way it’s a win.

I have one final thought to share, a strategy that I think is easy to implement. I mentioned countering my self-talk with evidence. When I am struggling to overcome my feelings, I will literally write out the negative things I am telling myself, or really the lies I am believing. I then write down how it can not possibly be true. Then every time I start to say that bad thing to myself, I quickly and easily remember my truth.

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Read more about imposter syndrome: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/13/the-dubious-rise-of-impostor-syndrome

Watch the episode: https://www.dhirubhai.net/video/event/urn:li:ugcPost:7059176795845128192/