Self-Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will

Have you ever had a day, a week, or month where you doubted your direction in life; or your ability to achieve your goals; or your ability to live the life you always envisioned? I have, and sometimes, still occasionally do!

When I find myself in this mental and emotional funk, I pull out a book that I wrote many years ago when I was in my previous career role as an educator and career development training professional. Re-reading certain sections of the book reminds me that doubt is a normal human reaction when facing challenges. It also reminds me that there are ways to pull yourself out of that self-doubt and become energized and positively focused again.

I am re-sharing this excerpt from my book (Choosing a Life Well Lived) in the chance that it may help in your awareness and your outlook on difficult challenges you may be facing.

?-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Subconscious Mind And Self-Talk

It is an absolute necessity to engage the subconscious mind in the process of self-confidence and belief. A superficial belief in yourself will not sustain you through the inevitable tough times. To successfully move toward your goals, your daily thoughts and emotions must constantly reinforce your belief structure.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” said Shakespeare in his classic play, Hamlet. What you think about will expand. If you fill your mind with positive, self-confident thoughts, your subconscious mind will digest those thoughts and feed them back to you over time. It’s like a slow-release vitamin tablet. As a result, you’ll tend to do more positive, productive things. However, if you fill your mind with negative, fearful, angry, or self-doubting thoughts, your subconscious mind will feed those thoughts back to you like a slow-release poison. You will tend to behave in ways that produces negative results. It’s an amazingly accurate formula that’s been proven over and over again.

I am not suggesting that we become robotic in our thoughts and fight to completely eliminate negative thoughts from entering our minds. We are humans and because we are humans we will experience the whole spectrum of thoughts and feelings. Feel the feelings, all of them, but then make a choice to focus on the positive. What I am suggesting is that we can consciously choose to focus the majority of our attention on the glass half full rather than half empty. It’s really your choice and my choice. What do you choose to hold on to --- positively focused thoughts or negatively focused thoughts?

Much of our “self-talk” is a result of our childhood experiences and relationships, especially with our parents. Some of these subconscious messages may be positive and some may be negative. Children tend to believe negative opinions of them from teachers and parents, and may develop a compromised self-concept when criticized on a regular basis. This self-concept may follow us into adulthood limiting our potential. On the other hand, children who have been brought up with plentiful positive reinforcement, will tend to create a very positive and healthy self-images.

However, having a negative self-talk propensity, does not mean that we have to live with it. We have a choice.?But, first we must become aware of our self-talk. It’s like watching our own behavior from a vantage point outside of ourselves.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, whether you are dealing with personal relationships issues, financial issues, or career issues, take an honest look at your own self-talk and see if your thoughts have been “slow-release vitamins” or “slow-release poisons” in your efforts to achieve your desires.

Finally, here are some simple things that you can do right now:

• ???Practice self-compassion. Let yourself off-the-hook for past mistakes.
• ???Take the time to do something really “fun” to shift your internal brain chemistry with an influx of serotonin.
• ???Think back to your past achievements, write them down and appreciate what you have accomplished.
• ???Try not to compare yourself to others. Just strive to be better than you were yesterday.
• ???Seek out and spend your time with positive and supportive people.
• ???Escape the urge for perfectionism. No one really gets there.
• ???Remember to stick to your core values; the things that mean the most to you in life.

Alan Zawacki is a professional artist, previous corporate and adult career educator, and the author of Choosing a Life Well Lived (How to Recreate Your Career and Life Through Value-Based Choices) – available on Amazon