self discovery

For those who don’t know me yet, I am a retired guy who worked in Human Resources for 25 years.

I lost my parents recently. My father passed on February 4, 2022 and my mother passed on March 17, 2023.

These were extremely transformative experiences for me.

My identity was tied to my relationship with my parents. I was their son. And later in their lives, their caregiver.

My parents are no longer physically present, but they live on in my heart. I could just be going about my day when I’ll be reminded of some advice that my parents gave me that I could apply in the moment. ?Their gifts keep on giving. ?

My parents spent their lifetimes raising me with unconditional love and support that I hadn’t realized then but appreciate now.

I practice gratitude every day. I get up each morning and think “today is going to be a great day” and “thank you.” I tell my friends that I appreciate them every opportunity I get. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my parents.

When my parents passed, I thought: “What will become of me?”

For seven months after my mother passed, I was processing my parents’ deaths.

Here is what I realized.

My parents were a huge influence on how I think. But now, in certain instances, I don’t always think the way my parents would. I would stop to think whether this is something that I need or want, or is this something that is expected of me because of parental or societal expectations. I’ve become intentional in making the distinction between what I need or want vs. parental/societal expectations.

I’ve discovered who I am through a process of connecting with friends and family and reflecting on those interactions.

I am someone who is interested in personal growth, meeting new people and learning new things. I want to connect to a higher purpose and have a positive impact on my community. I don’t know just yet how I would be making that impact.

I know that I am a social connection builder as noted in my LinkedIn headline. I love to engage in synergistic conversations where we build on each other’s ideas, the conversation flows effortlessly and there’s a positive vibe.

I know my core values of which there are eight. Every so often, when I engage in conversation, I share one or two of my core values. Core values are an anchor for me from which I can go forth and do things that align with my core values.

I had a nice conversation with my friend Stephen recently who noted that I seem to be doing quite well.

Yes, I can say that I’ve made it to the other side of grief. I know who I am. Currently, anything related to Stoicism, community, connection, sustainability and continuous learning are interesting to me. I am constantly evolving and my interests will change.

There are times when I miss my parents and I feel sad. I allow myself to feel sad. For I know that this too shall pass.