Self-Discovery after Quitting My Job of 20 Years

A Journey of Embracing Rest, Reclaiming Identity, and Rediscovering Joy

As of September 1st, I was intentionally unemployed. It was the first time I had taken considerable time away from work, aside from the requisite week off to lay on a beach somewhere and obsess about the work waiting for me upon my return or during times I was actually sick and required surgery and healing. Quitting my job was a risky proposition; several executive recruiters advised me to stay until I found something else. I couldn’t. I was done and needed a rest.

These past four months have taught me a few invaluable lessons:

Learning How to Relax

I didn’t know how to relax—literally. I spent the first few weeks unnecessarily cleaning and rearranging things in my house. My mind was constantly occupied with other projects and tasks because sitting still and quieting my mind was excruciating. I felt guilty doing nothing. It seems silly because I worked my butt off for years.

Recognizing Mental Depletion

I was mentally depleted—my spark was gone. Problem-solving, idea generation, out-of-the-box thinking, and empathy were keys to my leadership success, and I had nothing left. I spent so much of my time and energy mentoring and sponsoring others that I had nothing left for myself. I poured into others until my cup was empty!

Prioritizing Physical Health

I wasn’t taking care of my body—exercise was not something I enjoyed (I would rather mop water off the ocean floor). Yet, I did choose yoga because it was the least excruciating option. It had been months since I attended a class. I made time for everything else except my physical well-being.

Reclaiming My Identity

My identity was fading—sounds cliché, but without my title and a company name, I felt a bit lost. When someone asked me what I did for work, I gave the usual answer: my former job and title. Then I said, “Oh, but I quit, and I’m not working.” Saying "unemployed" was too burdensome because it felt lazy. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being rudderless. So much of my identity was informed by what others thought of me in the workplace. In hindsight it seems silly to think that, but I did!

Steps Towards Rejuvenation

I’ve never met a problem I didn’t enjoy solving, well, except for The Riemann Hypothesis. So, I tackled the above with my normal curiosity and openness.

Embracing Creativity and New Passions

First, I went back to yoga class (see pic of my home practice with my dog Violet helping). Resetting my mind and body, especially during peri-menopausal years, was key for me. I also set aside time at least a few times a week to practice meditation. The first few attempts at clearing my mind were a disaster because I kept thinking about what to cook for dinner, but I eventually got there.

?I spent time knitting, which is also meditative. I taught myself to knit during the pandemic to stave off boredom, but I stopped when post-pandemic life resumed. Knitting helped me quiet my mind, focus, and tap into my creative nature to make something useful and pretty. (see pic of my wife in my most recent creation) Most of the answers to what I was grappling with emerged during knit 1’s and pearl 2’s. Rediscovering creativity became a source of immense joy. Starting with a pattern, needles and a ball of yarn is daunting and fun. Some times you drop stitches, some? times your creation is hideous, other times you need to unravel it all and start again.

Nurturing Relationships

With more time on my hands, I reconnected with family and friends. I realized how much I had missed over the years. Catching up over coffee, sharing laughter and stories, and just being present in each other's lives were priceless experiences. These moments reinforced the importance of human connections and the joy that they bring.

The Road Ahead

As I reflect on these past months, I am filled with a sense of gratitude and clarity. Stepping away from my job of 20 years was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but it was also the most liberating. It allowed me to rediscover who I am beyond my professional identity, to find joy in the simple things, and to realign my life with what truly matters to me.

In the end, quitting my job was not just a step away from something; it was a step towards a fuller, richer, and more authentic life. And for that, I am eternally grateful and I’m ready!

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