The Self-Deception That Keeps You Small

Marshall Goldsmith has an ingenious three-question "trick" that exposes a near-universal self-deception. It forces people to confront an uncomfortable yet liberating truth:

1. Would the world be a better place if you became more powerful and influential? (If the answer is no, kindly put down this article.)

2. Does the self-promotion required to become more powerful and influential make you uncomfortable?

3. What's more important to you—being comfortable or making the world a better place?

In that instant, you're intellectually cornered.

You've acknowledged that the world could benefit if you really tried, yet you've also recognized the psychological barriers holding you back.

The real challenge isn't external—it's internal.

We often deceive ourselves by claiming we're "humble" or "not the type to self-promote" when, in reality, we're avoiding discomfort.

We tell ourselves we're waiting for the "perfect" moment, but perfection is a myth. We do it in all areas of life: delaying our annual physical until we're in better shape, postponing an important conversation until the timing feels just right, or holding off on big goals until we "have it all figured out."

But here's the truth: you're just a human being. Perfection isn't coming and was never the point. Accepting this doesn't diminish you; it liberates you to act now instead of waiting for an imaginary ideal.

The Honesty of Mixed Motivations

This self-deception extends beyond perfectionism into how we view our own intentions. We often present ourselves as purely altruistic when the reality is more nuanced.

Many of us like to think of ourselves as driven solely by noble purposes, but reality is more complex. Take someone launching an impact-focused business or purpose-driven enterprise. Their motivations are likely a mix of genuine passion, personal ambition, and the desire for recognition or financial success. And that's okay.

Consider Elon Musk—his ventures might aim to advance humanity, but he also clearly values influence, wealth, and prestige. One motivation doesn't cancel out the other. Recognizing your own mix of motivations isn't selfish—it's honest. And honesty is the foundation of growth.

This insight extends beyond self-awareness; it helps you understand others. If you can discipline yourself to ask, "What's in it for them?", human behavior becomes less mysterious. You start to see that:

• In their circumstances, you might make similar choices.?
• Their actions are a logical response to their specific context.

From Self-Deception to Deliberate Impact

By embracing this perspective, you reduce friction—both within yourself and in your interactions with others. You stop exhausting yourself by resisting reality and start collaborating with it.

The questions that opened this article aren't just theoretical—they're practical. When you acknowledge the discomfort of putting yourself forward while accepting the importance of your contribution, you make a fundamental choice: growth over comfort, impact over ego protection.

This doesn't mean becoming someone you're not. It means being exactly who you are—a person with mixed motivations and imperfect timing—and choosing to act anyway.

That's not just personal growth.

That's how you expand your influence to create the positive change you know is possible.

#smooth