Self-Deception

44-year-old Bami was known for her charismatic personality and infectious laughter that captivated everyone around her. She had a successful career, a great family, and amiable friends. However, unbeknownst to the world, she lived a life built upon a foundation of self-deceit.

She had always been conscious of her appearance and yearned for societal acceptance. She would spend hours meticulously crafting her public image, presenting herself as the epitome of success and happiness. She would post carefully curated social media photos showcasing extravagant vacations, luxurious possessions, and seemingly perfect relationships. Bami believed that by projecting this image, she could convince herself and others that she was living a fulfilling life.

Deep down, her insecurities and doubts plagued her. She constantly compared herself to others, feeling inadequate and unworthy, deeply terrified of being vulnerable and exposing her true self to the world. Bami resorted to material possessions and superficial achievements to mask her inner turmoil, hoping they would fill the void within her.

One day, her husband was browsing through old photographs when he stumbled upon an image from her childhood. It depicted a carefree girl with a radiant smile, full of curiosity and genuine happiness. As she stared at the photograph, she realised that she had lost touch with that authentic self somewhere along the way. She had become a master of self-deception, convincing herself that her carefully constructed facade was her true identity.

Her self-deceit began to crush her spirit, suffocating her with the weight of unfulfilled dreams and neglected emotions. After reminiscing for a long time, Bami knew she had to confront her true self and break free from the chains of deception. With newfound determination, She embarked on a journey of self-discovery. She sought therapy to explore the deep-rooted fears and insecurities that had fueled her self-deception. It was painful as she confronted the harsh truths she had long avoided. Bami had to acknowledge her imperfections, face her fears, and embrace vulnerability.

As she peeled back the layers of self-deceit, she discovered a reservoir of strength and authenticity buried within her. She learned that true happiness and fulfilment are in self-acceptance despite her flaws. Bami realised that pursuing external validation and material success would never bring her the inner peace she craved.

Self-deception refers to beliefs acquired and maintained in the face of solid counter-evidence and motivated by desires or emotions (Deweese-Boyd, 2010). When people have self-deception, they use their hopes, needs, wants, theory, ideology, prejudices, expectations, memories, and other psychological elements to construct how they see the world, Triandis, (2016).

This phenomenon can manifest in various ways, ranging from subtle biases and rationalisations to more extreme forms of denial and delusion (Bortoloti & Mameli, 2012). According to Alicke and Sedikides (2009), the primary motive for self-deceptive tendencies is self-enhancement and self-protection. While the former (self-enhancement) refers to the inclination to perceive oneself positively, even when evidence suggests otherwise, the latter (self-protection) involves shielding oneself from threatening or uncomfortable truths. Hence, individuals tend to present themselves or process information based on their well-crafted narrative to maintain their desired self-image or protect their worldview, even if it means distorting or ignoring evidence.

Self-deception can significantly influence decision-making processes and outcomes because the allusions people choose to believe reflects the principles they accommodate to satisfy their desires (Jian et al., 2019). This personality trait is an independent mental state that combines a conscious motivational false belief and a contradictory unconscious genuine belief (von Hippel & Trivers, 2011). Overconfident individuals may sometimes engage in risky investments or business activities beyond their capabilities, leading to negative consequences (Schwardmann & van der Weele, 2019). Moreover, self-deception has been associated with mental health issues, as individuals may engage in illusions or distortions to protect their well-being, as it is uniquely related to depressive symptoms (Jordan et al., 2020; Porter et al., 2019).

Self-deception is not simply stopped because of one moment of enlightenment (Jones, 2022). It is a constant threat that can come back to bite us in many circumstances. Even when you think you have found the truth within yourself, it can rear its ugly head at any time. Recognising self-deceit can be challenging, as individuals often have unconscious biases and defence mechanisms that protect their self-image. However, self-reflection, introspection, and seeking external feedback can help individuals gain insight into their self-deceptive tendencies. Developing self-awareness and critical thinking skills can also aid in recognising and addressing self-deceit. Understanding self-deceit is crucial for individuals to make informed decisions and maintain psychological well-being. By acknowledging and addressing self-deception, individuals can strive for a more accurate understanding of themselves and their world and enjoy true freedom, which is the hallmark of a successful life.

Bortoloti, L & Mameli, M., (2012). Self-Deception, Delusion and the Boundaries of Folk Psychology. PubMed Central.

Deweese-Boyd I. Self-deception. In: Zalta EN, editor. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Fall 2010 Edition. 2010. < https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2010/entries/self-deception/>

Jones, K. (2022). How I Became One of 'Those People': A Story About Self-Deception and Realisation. Retrieved from: https://www.positivelypositive.com/2016/07/20/how-i-became-one

Jian, Z., Zhang, W., Tian, L., Fan, W., & Zhong, Y. (2019). Self-Deception Reduces Cognitive Load: The Role of Involuntary Conscious Memory Impairment. Frontiers in Psychology, p. 10. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01718

Jordan, K. A. A., O'Halloran, H., Soder, H., Yasin, S., Kramer, R., Rosen, S., … Keenan, J. P. (2020). The Medial Prefrontal Cortex: A potential link between Self-deception and Affect. International Journal of Neuroscience, 1–12. doi:10.1080/00207454.2020.1753729

Porter, A., Zelkowitz, R., Gist, D., & Cole, D. (2019). Self-Evaluation and Depressive Symptoms: A Latent Variable Analysis of Self-Esteem, Shame-Proneness, and Self-Criticism. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment.

Schwardmann, P., & van der Weele, J.

(2019). Deception and Self Deception. Nature Human Behaviour.

Triandis, H., (2016). Self-Deception. Oxford Bibliographies. DOI: 10.1093/OBO/9780199828340-0067

Von Hippel, W., & Trivers, R. (2011). The evolution and psychology of self-deception. Behav. Brain Sci. 34, 1–56. doi: 10.1017/S0140525X10001354

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