Self Control - Ek Dil aur Dimaag ki Jung

Kya aap bhi so-called Self Control paana chahte hain? Kya aap jaante hain ki humare andar do tarah ke brains hote hain. One is the Thinking Brain and the other one is the Feeling Brain.

Kya aap jaante hain ki dono kaam kaise karte hain? Kuch log puri tarah se Feeling Brain ke control mein hote hain aur kuch puri tarah Thinking Brain ke. Aur dono hi sahi nahin hain.

Is article mein main aapse inhi dono brains ke bare mein baat karunga.

Thinking Brain:

- Ye wala brain puri tarah se logical hota hai. Ye tark dene mein mahir hota hai.

- It has the ability to make calculations, give you reasons through various opinions, and is able to express ideas.

- It's conscientious, accurate, impartial, rational, and methodical.

- It is slow and requires a lot of energy and, like a muscle, it builds up over time.

Feeling Brain:

- Ye puri tarah se emotion-based hota hai.

- It takes decisions based on impulses, intuition, and instincts.

- It arrives at conclusions quickly and effortlessly.

- Lekin ye inaccurate, irrational hota hai.

- It's a drama queen and has a bad habit of overreacting to things.

Problem tab aati hai jab hum ye khwahish rakhte hain ki hum puri tarah se Thinking Brain ke control mein rahein. Ya phir koshish karte hain ki Thinking Brain ke hisab se hi decisions lein.

Phir kuch time ke liye to hum self-controlled ho jate hain, lekin phir wohi humara purana Feeling Brain jaagta hai aur sab messed up kar deta hai.

Ya phir kuch logon ki Problem ye hoti hai ki wo Feeling Brain ki kuch zyada hi sunte hain. Aise log sirf wo karte hain jo unka Feeling Brain chahta hai. Ye log alag-alag tarah ke nashe karte hain jo inhe temporary sukh deta hai. Ab temporary sukh isliye deta hai kyunki Thinking Brain mara to hai nahi. Wo dheemi awaaz mein batata rehta hai ki jo hum kar rahe hain wo sahi nahi hai. Aise logo ka Thinking Brain itna pratadit hota hai ki wo Feeling Brain se kaafi darta hai. Phir aise logon ka Thinking Brain Feeling Brain ko justify karne lagta hai. For example: Suppose aaj aapne kuch kaam nahi kiya aur Feeling Brain ki sun ke saara din Instagram pe reels dekha. To aise logon ka Thinking Brain kahega, ki exam ko to abhi ek hafta hai. Roz agar ek ek chapter padhunga to bhi aaram se acche number se pass ho jaunga.

Ab baat karte hain ki kaun sa brain dominating hota hai. To iska jawab simple hai, humara Feeling Brain hamesha dominating hota hai. Humari gaadi ki steering wheel hamesha Feeling Brain ke paas hoti hai. Thinking Brain to sirf ek passenger hota hai jo Feeling Brain ke saath aapke body ki Car mein aage wale passenger seat pe baitha hota hai. Thinking Brain kuch time ke liye gussa kar ke Feeling Brain ko apne isharon pe chalne ko keh to zaroor sakta hai, lekin jab Feeling Brain ko gussa aayega tab wo kisi ki nahi sunega. Aur is tarah aapke Thinking Brain aur Feeling Brain ki dosti bhi toot jayegi. Aur agar dono dost nahi rahenge to zindagi ka safar suffer ban jayega.

Isiliye hume apne Thinking Brain ko as an adult treat karna chahiye. Aur Feeling Brain ko as a kid treat karna chahiye. Aur sach mein humara Feeling Brain ek bacche ki tarah hi hota hai. Kya aapne kabhi kisi 4 saal ke bacche ke saath time spend kiya hai? 4 saal ke bachchon mein Thinking Brain utna developed nahi hota hai. Isiliye bacche hamesha apne Feeling ki sunte hain. To ye sochna ki humara Feeling Brain ek bacche ki tarah hota hai bilkul sahi hoga. Hum khud ko baar baar ye yaad dilane ke liye ye slogan yaad rakh sakte hain - "Dil to baccha hai ji".

Ab kya aap ye chahenge ki aap apne bacche Brain pe gussa ho ke ya overpower kar ke apne marzi se car Feeling Brain se chalwaye? Aisa karne se dil aur dimag ke beech mein sirf dooriyan badhengi, dosti nahi. Aur yaad rakhiye ki aapka Thinking Brain ko ek adult ki tarah Feeling Brain ko handle karna chahiye. Ek adult kabhi bachchon pe overpower nahi karta. You have to handle your Feeling Brain with care.

Kai baar hume ye bhi pata nahi hota ki hum Feeling based decisions le rahe hain ki Thinking based decisions. Aisa aksar tab hota hai jab hum ya to kafi time se Thinking based decisions le rahe hote hain ya phir Feeling based decisions le rahe hote hain.

Zyada tar Feeling based decisions lene walo ka Thinking Brain kafi had tak bullied hota hai. Phir Thinking Brain suggestions dene chhod deta hai. Phir wo Car mein shanti maintain karne ke liye Feeling Brain ki baat maan na seekh jata hai. Ab chahe Feeling Brain kaisa bhi ho, Thinking Brain ko rehna to isi ke saath hai, to phir Thinking Brain Feeling Brain ke actions ko justify karne lagta hai taaki Thinking Brain Feeling Brain ko tolerate kar paye. Aur phir dheere dheere Thinking Brain shant ho jata hai. Aise logon ko meri advice yehi rahegi ki aap thoda time akele bitaye. Kuch time akele rehna start kare. Roz kam se kam 1 ghanta bina mobile ke saath apne saath hi baithna shuru kare. Dimag mein sau tarah ki baatein aayengi, unhe bina kisi judgement ke bas sune. No matter who is talking. Just listen to what is going on in your head. Ye ek tarah ka meditation hi hai agar aap nahi jaante hain to.

Phir aate hain Thinking Brain ki hi sunne wale logo pe. Main iss tarah ke logo ko Sarkari insaan se refer karta hoon. Aisa isliye kyunki India mein Govt. exams ki taiyari karne wale zyada tar log, iss raaste to apni marzi se nahi chunte. Kyunki unhe ek job chahiye, isliye wo saalo saal apne Feeling Brain ko marte rehte hain. Phir jab inki wo Sarkari naukri lag bhi jati hai tab bhi ye usse khush nahi hote hain. Kyunki zyada tar sarkari naukri boring/repetitive hoti hai. Inki feelings gusse ke roop mein bahar aati hain. Aise logo ke liye mere paas ek aisi image hai jo inki life barbaad kar sakta hai. Neeche di gayi image ko main "Boxes of Life" se refer karta hoon. Meri age 27 hai. Is image mein horizontally 53 boxes hain aur vertically 70 boxes hain. Aap bhi aisi ek image Google Excel sheet pe bana sakte hain. Jaisa ki aap dekh sakte hain, is image mein chhote chhote dabbe hain, yaha har ek dabba 1 week (ek hafta) ko represent karta hai. Lal (Red) rang ke boxes un weeks represent karte hain jo main ab tak jee chuka hoon. Aur Peele (Yellow) wale boxes un weeks ko represent karte hain jo jeena baaki hai. Jab ek sarkari insaan iss image ko dekhega tab wo samjhega, ki zyada tar zindagi to wo sirf Thinking Brain ke hisab se hi jee chuka hai. Aur ab jeene ke liye kuch hi boxes baaki hain.

To kya insaan ko in boxes ko sirf Feeling brain ke hisaab se jeena chahiye, ya sirf Thinking brain ke hisaab se? To jawab hai dono ke hisaab se. Aap hafte ke 5 din Thinking brain ke hisaab se jee sakte hain, phir bacha hua 2 din Feeling brain ke hisaab se. Ab ye jo ratio hai 5:2 ka, zaroori nahi hai ki aap yehi follow karein. Aap apne bacche dil se poochhe. Ye dekhein aap kaisa feel karte hain. Agar bahut zyada kharab feel karte hain to ratio 2:5 ka rakhiye. Ya phir aap din mein sirf 2 ghante kaam ka target set kariye. Uske baad ka time apne Feeling brain ko jo mann kare wo karne dijiye. Apne Feeling brain ko kisi se compare mat kijiye. Hum jab bhi motivational videos, ya kabhi bhi doosre successful logon ko dekhte hain to hamesha apne Feeling brain ko doosron ke Feeling brain se compare karte hain. Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai aapka Feeling brain abhi abhi kisi trauma se bahar aaya ho. Ya phir aapka dil kuch aur chahta ho. Agar aap apne Feeling brain ko kisi doosre ke Feeling brain se compare karenge to wo aisa hoga ki aap apne bacche ko kisi aur ke bacche se compare kar rahe hain. Aisa karne se aapka baccha kafi kharab feel karega aur phir dheeth ho jayega. Yaad rakhein aapka Thinking brain ek adult hai aur use ek adult ki tarah hi bacche ko handle karna hai.

Suppose aap exam mein fail hue hain. Ya phir suppose aapka breakup hua hai. Jis cheez ke liye aap itne din se mehnat kar rahe the wo aapke Feeling brain ko nahi mila. Ek bacche ko kisi khilone ka ya water park jaane ka aapne sapna dikhaya aur phir wo nahi ho paya. Is samay pe to koi bhi baccha ruth jayega. Ek rote hue bacche ko is samay pe sabse pehle gale lagana chahiye. Thinking brain ko uske rone ko justify karna chahiye. Yani ki aapko sabse pehle apne feelings ko accept karna chahiye. Phir us bacche ko chhote-mote gifts dene chahiye. Kuch samay baad wo baccha khud hi shant ho jayega. Phir jaa ke apne Feeling brain se chhote-mote kaam karwayiye. Aur ye zaroor notice kariye ki wo kaam kar ke Feeling brain kaisa feel kar raha hai. Positive feel kar raha hai ya negative. Agar Positive to phir to sab theek hai. Aap apne hi kaam se motivate hone lagenge. Aur motivate hone ka yehi sahi tarika hai. Lekin agar negative feel kar rahe hain to sabse pehle to ye accept kariye. Phir koi doosra tarika apnaiye. Koi doosra kaam try kijiye. Chhote se chhote step lijiye. Chhote chhote achievements hi iss samay pe aapko motivate karenge. Ye motivation ek tarah ka cycle hai. Aap pehle chhoti victories achieve karenge. Phir usse motivate honge. Phir thodi badi victories achieve karenge. Aur ye cycle chalta rahega.

Ek so-called 'Self-Controlled' insaan hamesha apne dono brains mein achi dosti bana ke chalta hai. Aise log kafi calm hote hain. Kyunki inka dimag shant hai. Inka Thinking brain aur Feeling brain aapas mein itne khush hote hain ki inhe kisi aur ki zaroorat nahi hoti. Ye solitude ki talash me hote hai.

Ye saari baatein jo maine aapse iss article mein share ki hain ye sab maine Mark Manson ki book 'Everything is F*cked' se seekha hun, aur kafi saare mere khud ke experiences rahe hain. Aap agar kabhi ye book padhein to 'Self Control is an Illusion' zaroor padhiyega. Wahan ek Elliot naam ke insaan ki kahani hai, jo ek brain tumour ki wajah se apna Feeling brain kho deta hai. Iske baad ek Egas Moniz neuroscientist ki bhi kahani hai jo 'Frontal Lobotomy' naam ke procedure ko discover karta hai, jiske baad koi bhi insaan apne bacche dil ko maar sakta tha. Iske liye Egas ko Nobel Prize bhi milta hai. Maine is article mein spoiler na dene ki koshish ki hai, aur Mark Manson ka isi baat ko explain karne ka tarika alag hai.