Self Confidence Empowers Imperfection (Part 1)

We are all imperfect. That’s an inescapable fact. Each of us has our own collection of foibles, scars, scratches, and mismatched parts. And it is very easy to look at these things as mistakes, weaknesses, and imperfections. That negativity does no one, especially you, any good. What if you looked at your imperfections as bonuses? After all, your imperfections are what make you unique. They are what set you apart. They are what make you the individual that you are.

One way of changing a negative view of your imperfections into a positive view is through increased confidence in yourself. Self-confidence can literally overpower imperfections. How? Well, when you are confident about who you are, you are confident about every element of your persona. Confidence allows you to internalize the reality that your “imperfections” are an integral part of who you are. In other words, confidence makes imperfections essential.

This week and next, we’ll look at some things that you can do every day to boost your self-confidence so that you can begin empowering your own imperfections.

Change Your Self-Image

Did you know that we all have a mental picture of ourselves that we carry around? It’s true. We all see ourselves in a certain way. Yet, that image we have of ourselves isn’t always based on objective reality. Instead, it’s based on how we subjectively feel about ourselves. If we’re feeling less than adequate, the mental picture we have of ourselves is less than adequate, too. It doesn’t matter if that’s not the way other people see us. It doesn’t matter if people tell us that we look good or that they’re so glad to see us. That positive external reinforcement does nothing to change how we see ourselves in our minds.

The only way to start changing our mental picture is to consciously begin editing that image. We need to mentally “photoshop” the image to make it look more attractive. You can minimize the imperfections that you fixate on when you call up your mental image by looking at yourself objectively and rationally. It’s essential to start seeing yourself as others see you and not as you think they do.

Be Positive

This one can’t be emphasized enough. You hear a lot about the power of positive thinking because positive thinking has real power. It has the power to change your life for the better. It has the power to change the way that you feel about yourself...the power to increase your confidence in yourself and empower your entire outlook. The best part is that being positive is relatively easy to implement.

The bit of mental effort it takes to successfully implement a positive attitude is well worth it. It requires you to look at every event that occurs during your day as an opportunity to be positive or to positively influence someone else. If you’re not used to being positive, this will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. However, if you stick with it, it will soon become a habit. The positivity that you generate from this newly formed habit will influence how you feel about yourself. In other words, as your positivity grows, so will your confidence.

Eliminate Negativity

This is the flip side of promoting positivity in your life. Simply being positive isn’t enough to change the way you view yourself and your imperfections. You also have to work at eliminating the negative behaviors that have been impacting your confidence and the way that you present yourself to the world. Imagine this process as mental gardening. Positivity is all the beneficial plants you’re growing in your garden; negativity is the weeds that choke those beneficial plants. You’ve got to actively dig out the weeds so that the beneficial plants can grow unimpeded.

One way to do this is by tracking your inner monologue. The voice inside your head can very often be overwhelmingly negative. It’s vital to be aware of your negative thoughts, but don’t own them or give them any weight. Simply acknowledge them for what they are and move on. Soon, you will find the negativity in your inner voice being replaced by a more positive and supportive voice that reflects the new way that you view yourself and your life.

Know Who You Are

How well do you know yourself? If you’re like most people, you’re really cozy with some parts of your personality and completely ignorant about other parts of your personality. Don’t worry. A disjointed self-image is fairly common and completely normal. The thing is, not really knowing yourself can allow some really bad behaviors to operate unchecked right under your nose, so to speak.

Raising your confidence so that you can better embrace your imperfections is a battle. A battle where the opponent is you. You see, entrenched, negative behaviors are comfortable. They feel normal. They feel safe. And there is a part of you that enjoys that comfort, that normality, and that safety. When you begin making the effort to change those behaviors, you’re in for a fight. The way to make sure that you prevail in the fight is to see your negative behaviors for what they really are – not at all beneficial for you or for whom you want to be.

Act How You Want to Feel

We’ve already talked about changing the way you think as a way to grow confidence and embrace imperfection. In other words, when you change the way you think, that process has a direct way on the way that you act. More positive thinking equals increased self-confidence. You think differently so you act differently.

However, did you know that the reverse of this process also works? It’s true. You can change the way you think through the way that you act. Actions can have as much impact on your thought process as your thought process has on your actions.

For example, studies have shown that people who are performing a task they don’t really like feel better about that task, as well as perform it more efficiently, when they hold a pencil in their teeth. Why? When you hold a pencil in your teeth, you’re using the same set of muscles that you use when you smile. Your brain sees that these particular muscles are activated and interprets that activation as a sign that external events are occurring that are positive. As a result, mood changes for the better, and performance improves. Actions do influence emotions.

Spruce Up

Since how you see yourself affects your confidence, a lack of confidence can occur when you have a negative self-image. One way a negative self-image is manifested is through physical appearance. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you likely aren’t doing everything that you could be doing to take care of yourself. Why? Because you don’t feel that you’re worth the effort.

Positive action can circumvent this type of thinking. You are worth the effort, and you can begin to convince yourself of this fact by taking better care of your personal appearance. Showering, shaving, using makeup, and styling your hair can all improve your outward appearance. The result is that your inner feelings toward yourself begin to change positively as well.

Dress Up

How you present yourself to the world has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself. One of the most important things we use to make this presentation is clothing. Clothing is a form of self-expression. It can show emotion, mood, and more. Clothing has style. It is style. And you can use clothing to express your own individual style.

You see when you get dressed to leave your home, you have a choice. You can throw on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt - and call it good. That choice tells the world something about your confidence. Taking time and energy to choose clothing that looks better tells the world that you feel you’re worth the extra time and effort. It’s not about purchasing expensive clothing. It’s about making sure you look your best each and every time you leave the house.

Next week, I’ll share seven more ideas for boosting your self-confidence. What are your thoughts about these first seven?

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