Self-Compassion: How to Achieve Goals Without Burnout

At this time of year, many of us reflect on what we could do more of – setting new goals, accomplishing more, or improving ourselves. But what if we approached this season with a different mindset? As I explore in my latest Mindset Shifts coaching video, instead of focusing on what we need to fix or achieve, what if we took a more compassionate approach, particularly when we don’t feel like we’re doing our best?

Research shows that self-compassion plays a critical role in our wellbeing, mental health, and resilience. In fact, studies suggest that being kind to ourselves, especially during setbacks or failures, can significantly improve our ability to cope with challenges and ultimately reach our goals. When the pressure to be our best can feel overwhelming, practising self-compassion can be a refreshing and empowering approach to life.

Self-compassion is about responding to yourself with kindness and understanding when things don’t go as planned or when you make mistakes. It means treating yourself with the same warmth, care, and concern you would offer to a close friend, especially in moments of difficulty. This is particularly important during times of reflection when you might be tempted to focus on what’s gone wrong or where you haven’t yet achieved your goals.

Tips to practice self-compassion

1. Talk to yourself like a friend

Imagine a close friend told you a story about struggling at work, facing a setback, or making a mistake. You wouldn’t criticise them or tell them they were failing. You’d offer support, empathy, and understanding.

Now, try offering that same kindness to yourself. Next time you feel frustrated or disappointed with your progress, pause and speak to yourself with that supportive tone. The voice we hear most in our lives is our own voice in our heads, so make that voice your supportive cheerleader.

2. Acknowledge that setbacks are a natural part of life

We often set high expectations for ourselves, thinking we should be perfect or always succeed. But no one is immune to setbacks, challenges, or mistakes.

When you’re struggling, remind yourself that you’re human. Recognising that difficulties are part of the learning process can reduce self-blame and allow you to approach challenges with more flexibility and understanding.

3. Reframe failure as an opportunity for growth

When things don’t go as planned, focus on what you can learn from the situation instead of focusing on your perceived failure.

Ask yourself: What did this teach me? How can I grow from this experience? Shifting your perspective from self-criticism to curiosity can help you view mistakes as valuable learning opportunities rather than evidence of inadequacy.

Self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook or avoiding accountability – it’s about creating the mental space to be kinder to yourself when you’re struggling. And, the more you practice it, the more it becomes a natural part of approaching successes and setbacks.

As we enter the new year, consider making self-compassion a priority. It’s not just about achieving more or setting bigger goals; it’s about being kind to yourself on the journey. I’d love to hear about your experiences practising self-compassion, especially when facing challenges.

Feel free to share how this approach has helped you – or if you plan to try it, let me know how it goes.

→ To support your journey towards resilience and career success, explore my Mindset Shifts coaching videos, where you’ll find a wealth of free-to-access resources.

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