Self-compassion amidst the pandemic

The pandemic has taken a toll on mental health for everyone in and out of the house. Due to ‘Work from Home’ being the new normal the work-life balance has also gone for a toss. Whatever be the case, it is of utter importance for everyone to care for their mental health and well-being.

In doing so self-compassion can be a practice of help. In simple terms, self-compassion is being considerate to our own self and our feelings and emotions. It is to wonder how we are so hard on ourselves most of the times but we tend to give simple solutions to other people in need. It is a very common tendency to take the rough road assuming it will lead to better outcomes but that is not the case always. Simply put, easier ways of doing things can also give the desired outcomes.

Reasons a person may not be kind to self

 Past experiences,  Learned or observed behavior,  Evolution of mankind.

If your everyday life has been difficult from childhood, it is possible for you to be assuming that only through difficulty a goal can be achieved and hence you may never even consider trying the simple way out.

Learned or observed behavior is what we get from the environment around us be it home, work or social interactions. Being unkind can be learned if that is what you have observed as a child growing up and the same can translate into being unkind to self in future.

Evolution is a bigger scale of looking at this, earlier when mankind was developing it was necessary to be tough and take the harder way because the question was for survival. It is not the same case now and hence we need to be self-compassionate or kind to our self.

Expressing and practicing self-compassion

·      Being mindful

·      Practicing forgiveness

·      Expressing gratitude or being thankful

·      Practicing a growth mindset

Being observant of one’s own emotions is important and it is equally important to express those emotions. So, the next time for e.g., when you feel unheard in a meeting, or if you feel like you haven’t been given credit for something you deserve, try to express it and not keep it inside to dwell more.

If someone hurts you, it is important that you forgive that person not for them but for your own mental peace. For e.g., if a colleague upsets you, there are two options you can choose from, first is talking to them about it and straitening things out and the second is getting over it by forgiving the other person from your side even if they don’t apologize. This gives you the power to remain calm and mentally healthy. Hence, practice forgiveness more often for yourself.

Being thankful gives you a feeling of kindness and makes the other person feel honored so it is an absolute win-win. When you practice kindness, you also learn to be kind to yourself.

A growth mindset explained in simple terms is not limiting yourself to the present experiences but seeing the bigger picture. In this way we see more opportunities for ourselves and hence we tend to be less hard and more considerate about ourselves.

Working from home and managing house hold chores along with it is a challenge in itself already and hence we don’t need more challenges especially with the pandemic being the biggest of all challenges. Hence, be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion more often and you will automatically learn the difference it makes in your everyday life and how it reduces quite a lot of stress that you may be experiencing.

Simple tips to follow everyday

·      Avoid working 24/7

·      Manage time well between tasks

·      Have healthy communication with colleagues

·      Share your stresses with close ones

·      Engage in mindfulness activities

·      Express yourself to others when you feel misunderstood

·      Use planning and execution and abide by it

      “Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.”- Dalai Lama

Article written by our consulting Psychologist at Plan My Health & EduCure