Self-Care Matters, no matter who you are!

The start of this year was rough for me. I had been unwell since returning from the USA in mid-November. I knew the lingering chest infection I just couldn't shake was because I was run down and exhausted - 2023 had been an intense, busy and exciting year, but it had taken its toll on me!

Then we got embroiled in a really nasty legal situation that took up my time and attention, and also caused a lot of stress. My personal life impacted my professional life and I wasn't fully available to Eating Freely or the team at times.

I had too many balls in the air and not enough hands to continue juggling them - something had to give!

For our clients with long standing emotional or binge eating, we know self-care is critical, but it is also often the hardest thing for our clients to do. Why? Because of their :

• feelings of not being worthy or deserving of any sort of care or attention - this comes from trauma,
• beliefs of having to 'tough it out' and 'get on with it' - this comes from the perfectionist, all-or-nothing personality type, and of course
• fear - 'don't let anyone down' - this comes from the trait of being a people pleaser, and being terrified of anyone seeing you as weak or vulnerable.

As a card carrying member of the personality type that goes with disordered eating myself - perfectionistic, high acheiving, all or nothing, not wanting to let anyone down, not a lover of appearing weak or unable to cope - it has been extremely difficult to take some of my own advice!

First, I acknowledged how tired and run down I was. Although there was excitement and motivation because of our progress last year, I had to recognise that I could not keep up the frantic pace I had been maintaining for almost 2 years. This is extremely difficult to do both for me and our clients!

This necessitated communicating to others about what I was and was not prepared to do, or able to do, and when I needed to simply rest and not do. Again, a huge challenge for me. Plus, like we tell clients all the time, some people around me were not that happy about me saying no! Having to put boundaries in place, AND to speak up more clearly about what I want/need from others... waaaay out of my comfort zone!

Second, I asked for help. I have begun, and need to continue to delegate tasks and workflows to other people. The control freak in me struggles hugely with this, but I absolutely had to acknowledge that by not doing this, I was going to continue being the bottle neck and block to getting stuff done, AND put myself back in my sick bed if I kept pushing myself beyond my capacity!

Third, I started resting a bit more. The odd afternoon nap. Saying no to going out. Going to bed earlier than usual. Staying in bed a bit longer on weekends, and the odd day getting back into bed for an hour in the morning after walking the dogs. I bought myself a new tub of epsom salts for baths and footbaths, AND I have this week booked a couple of sessions to help unlock my poor stressed out body.

Finally, I had to be realistic about how long I need to get back to operating on full throttle! At the moment, I can walk the dogs most mornings, go to the gym with my daughter once a week, and focus on cooking good meals for us all five days a week. We have a takeout once a week, and I can usually pull something ready made out for another night a week. I also try to drink more water and eat two pieces of fruit most days. That is all I can commit to right now, and I can live with that.

This is real self-care. I'm not booking spa days or spending hours in a bubble bath! REAL self-care is about honestly checking in with yourself and asking "what do I really need to do or stop doing right now?" That can be as simple as going to bed early, or taking a shower. Or booking an overdue dental or medical check up. Or saying no to someone.

What do YOU need to do for yourself right now, and can you give yourself permission to do it?

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