The Self Care Basics Work

I haven’t posted anything for about a week. The reason is that, firstly it was my birthday and secondly it was half term week.?This meant going to Spain to catch up with friends and celebrate.?I would take my laptop, chase up a few emails, go for a run with my son and put the odd post out and in the evening eat, drink and be merry – what could be better??

?The truth was that it did not quite work out as relaxing as it sounds.?Now what I’m going to say may sound counter intuitive, and I don’t want you to think that I’m a party pooping misery, but I started to feel uneasy and not at peace about halfway in.?My mood was low and my motivation to do anything had disappeared and due to the change in mattress, my back was hurting which meant exercise was curtailed.

?Now, as the American writer William Burroughs said, “Every experience can be valuable for a writer,” I want to adopt this attitude and use this experience to improve my practice.

?So what was going on? Simply put, my self-care routine had been disrupted, or rather blown out of the water.?It occurred to me that I was engaging in some of the behaviours that people adopt to manage and distract themselves from stress in their lives.?As there is no thing as a stress-free life, I have to acknowledge my own stressors.?I have recently given up a permanent position with the NHS to focus on my coaching practice.?While this is exciting it is also anxiety provoking as my structure has gone and the feeling that any time spent not doing something related to my coaching is undermining my business.?The most important of those two factors, for me, is the structure that going into work, albeit part time, gave me.?This feeds into the second factor.

?There was an increase in alcohol.?My birthday, you can’t celebrate that without a drink? ?Then friends who have a bar, one had a birthday and it was their business anniversary in the same week.?Also, a couple of beers every night and maybe sharing a bottle of wine with the meal.?Now I really wasn’t drinking like an eighteen-year-old in Magaluf but it was enough for me to feel the depressant properties of alcohol.

?The later nights plus alcohol, which does not allow a normal sleep pattern, meant I was waking up later and feeling tired during the day.?This left me unable to concentrate or apply myself to anything that required cognitive effort.

?The last point was that my diet too had changed, I was eating many more processed carbohydrates, especially sweet things.?The result was that I felt bloated and sluggish.

?What had happened was that I’d removed the three fundamental pillars of good mental wellbeing, which in isolation for one week would have been neither here nor there.?We go on holiday and have a great time and come back often saying, “I feel like I need another holiday to get over it,” but within twenty-four hours we have bounced back.?Now for me this was in the context of a change process which in itself is a big psychosocial stressor; there are other things too that I have not mentioned.?

?When a client comes to me in a state of stress, I always start with self-care for their mental wellbeing:

?·????????Sleep: The importance of getting good quality sleep.?This improves their mood and resilience.

·????????Diet: A healthy diet is also an important factor in helping with mental health and wellness.?If you feel better in yourself, you present more confidently and are more energised.

·????????Exercise:?This helps by boosting endorphins, burning cortisol the stress hormone and helps with sleep.

?Alcohol undermines all of the above and is a depressant too.?It disrupts your sleep pattern; you pass out as if under anaesthetic and as it wears off you “come round”.?You don’t get a normal sleep cycle.?It is a diuretic which reduces blood glucose and that will result in food cravings – the visit to the Kebab Shop for example.

?Now I’m not saying never drink.?As I have illustrated, I’m not a teetotaller, but what I’m saying is be mindful of how it affects your mental health and wellbeing and if you are burned out you cannot afford to undermine your resilience by something that may appear to relieve stress. Since returning from Spain, I have not had a drink, gone to bed early and back on a low carb vegetable based diet. I'm exercising too and can vouch that self-care works. I'm feeling more postive and able to focus.