Self Awareness

As mentioned in my previous post, self-awareness, according to Wikipedia, is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. It has many dimensions to it - awareness of your own emotions, energy levels, health, the way you are dealing with your time, money, your interaction with other people and so on.

 It is not being self-centered. self-awareness consists of being mindful of who we are, how we perceive events and how we respond to various stimuli whereas self-centered attention consists of simply thinking about ourselves often with a selfish intent.

 In my opinion people are more self-aware than what they think they are, at least at a subconscious level. We tend to ignore certain aspects as they become painful. Becoming self-aware is a painful exercise to begin with. It is as though you are cutting yourselves open. Many of us may not always like what we see. Since we are designed to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, we avoid pain through distraction. We transport our minds to some other time or place or world, a safer haven where we are insulated from the pain of day-to-day life. We get lost in our phones, fantasize or simply try to ignore. We use movies, videos, video games or music to carry us to utopia.

 It is not that distractions are wrong. Sometimes they are required to maintain our sanity. Just that we need to be aware that they are distractions. We choose them rather than mindlessly getting sucked in. The goal is to be able to control the compulsive behavior.

 We owe it to ourselves to become self-aware. The most important aspect to be aware of is our pre-existing beliefs. This is the lens through with which we see the world. As the popular saying goes - "We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are". We tend to notice and accept only those that are coherent with our belief system.

The other aspect which is important is to notice the lies that we tell to others and sometimes to ourselves.

Next would be observe how we react when we are guilty or embarrassed or to any other stimulus. The list goes on.

 Humans tend to be critical beings, whether self-critical or hard on others, and sometimes both. By beating ourselves up, we serve no one and harm our well-being. And since no one is perfect, why should we expect ourselves to be? So it is important to learn to cut through the hype and become more objective, especially about ourselves. Result of self-awareness should not be depression or mental trauma. It should be self-acceptance and being at peace under our own skin.

 Few Ways to Cultivate Self-Awareness

1. Sitting in silence - Creating personal time and space to sit in silence and just observing thoughts and feelings.
2. Journaling - Writing down our thoughts, feelings can give us a lot of clarity. It is here that the mother lode of self-awareness dwells.
3. Request feedback - This is a great way of identifying our blind spots. In my experience, I have, more often than not, been pleasantly surprised with the feedback I have got. Your blind spots need not be your weakness, it can reveal your strengths as well. Either way, it increases self-awareness.
4. Practicing mindfulness - I have heard this many times in webinars, training sessions, blogs and books. Though I have found this very difficult to implement, there are enough evidences that suggest that it's a good skill to have in our repertoire.

 Other than requesting feedback, all of them tend to quiet our minds and open our hearts. In the process if we learn forgiving ourselves for our imperfections and give ourselves a pat on the back where we deserve them, we have come a long way in knowing ourselves and thereby understanding the world better.