Self-Awareness: The Tool That Shapes Who You Are

Imagine I asked you to completely ignore your mental health, personal growth or career development for the next five years. How would you respond? You’d ignore me, of course, because you know yourself well enough to decide how to run your own life. You also understand that neglecting important areas of your life would have negative consequences. Self-awareness is what helps you recognise this.

What is Self-Awareness?

Dr. Tasha Eurich, an expert in self-awareness, defines it as "the ability to see ourselves clearly—to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world around us."

I like this definition because it highlights that self-awareness is multi-faceted, encompassing both internal understanding and external insight. It also emphasises that self-awareness involves gaining knowledge about ourselves through self-discovery and applying that knowledge to contribute to and influence the personal, professional, social, and cultural areas that our lives consist of.

Why Do We Need Self-Awareness?

Think of all the areas of your life, from your internal thoughts and beliefs to your external relationships and professional growth. Self-awareness transforms these into pieces of clay on a potter’s wheel, ready to be shaped and reshaped into something you like the look of using the tools nature and nurture—such as your imagination and interpersonal skills—have gifted you with.

Self-awareness not only equips you with the ability to transform your life but also gives you the insight to realise you can do this in the first place. Without it, we become the piece of clay, passively shaped by internal and external forces. My metaphor highlights the risk of losing agency over our own lives.

Self-awareness enables us to step off the wheel, take control, and become the potter instead of the clay. It gives us the ability to recognise and influence the forces shaping us—our thoughts, beliefs, relationships, and environments—allowing us to actively create a life that maximises, for example, our personal growth and professional development.

What Does Self-Awareness Allow You to Do?

Self-awareness allows you to assess the current state of critical areas of your life—such as your identity, relationships, career, or other priorities—to determine whether you wish to maintain, upgrade, or overhaul them either by yourself or with others.

Furthermore, recognising the thoughts, behaviours, emotions, and relational patterns connected to your priority areas and whether they support or undermine them enables you to make appropriate changes to them, such as:

• overcoming limiting beliefs
• committing to a health and wellbeing regime
• building boundaries in relationships
• seeking feedback to achieve promotion.

How to Develop Self-Awareness

Becoming more self-aware is a journey of transformation. It requires intentional practice and a willingness to put your internal and external worlds under the microscope, whether you like what you see or not, to strengthen what is working and address what isn’t. Here are some practical exercises to get you started:

1. Keep a journal

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you uncover patterns and gain insights into what drives your behaviour. Try these prompts:

• What made me feel most energised today?
• What situations triggered stress or frustration, and why?
• How did I respond, and what could I do differently next time?

2. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being present and fully engaged in the moment without judgement. It enhances your ability to observe your thoughts and emotions. Start with simple practices:

• Spend five minutes each morning focusing on your breath.
• Notice your physical sensations during daily activities, like eating or walking.

3. Seek feedback

Others often see aspects of us that we’re blind to. Ask trusted friends, colleagues, coaches, or mentors for constructive feedback. Questions to explore include:

• What strengths do you see in me?
• Are there behaviours or habits I could improve?

4. Reflect on core values

Your values act as a compass for your decisions and actions. Reflect on what matters most to you:

• What do I stand for?
• What principles guide my life and work?
• Am I living in alignment with these values?

5. Identify emotional triggers

Pay attention to situations that provoke strong emotions. Ask yourself:

• What happened, and how did I react?
• Was my reaction proportionate to the situation?
• What underlying beliefs or fears may have influenced my response?

6. Use time travel

Explore your past self (what has shaped you), your present self (how you see yourself now), and your future self (the person you want to become). Time travelling back and forth allows you to:

• take with you what has worked in your past and leave behind what hasn’t.
• strengthen what is positive in your present and address what is negative.
• visualise your desired future destination for this stage of your life and the journey that can take you there.

Real-Life Examples of Transformation Through Self-Awareness

1. Personal Growth: through journaling, Emma, a marketing professional, realised that she avoided conflict because she feared rejection. By working on her communication skills and understanding this fear, she began addressing issues directly, earning respect from her team and feeling more confident in herself.

2. Career Success: James, a software engineer, sought feedback from colleagues and discovered his tendency to dominate discussions. By actively listening and encouraging others to share ideas, he became a more effective collaborator, leading to a promotion.

Conclusions

Self-awareness is the foundation for transformation. It allows us to understand who we are, how we relate to others, and how we can shape and reshape our lives into something we like the look of. By developing self-awareness, we shift from being passively shaped by internal and external forces to actively making a life in harmony with our values, priorities, and potential. Whether it's through journaling, mindfulness, feedback, or reflection, the journey toward self-awareness equips us with what we need to navigate challenges, seek opportunities, and continually grow. The more we know ourselves, the more empowered we are to create an impactful life at home and work.

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Wider Reading

Dr. Tasha Eurich: An organisational psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Eurich is recognised as the world's leading self-awareness coach. She assists individuals and organisations in enhancing self-awareness to achieve greater success and fulfilment. Insight by Tasha Eurich