Self-Awareness: The Introverted Woman’s Key to Leadership Success

Before reading the article, this week on the Quietly Visible podcast, Aree Bly talks about discovering your own alignment landscape so you can navigate intentionally to find success more easily. Click on the podcast link above, open in another tab, and save to listen later. And don't forget, please subscribe and share.

Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. We’re less likely to lie, cheat, and steal. We are better workers who get more promotions. And we’re more-effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies

– Tasha Eurich PhD,

Harvard Business Review

If you want to be influential and impactful as a leader, how you manage yourself and your relationships is crucial. To do this effectively, requires self-awareness, and I believe that self-awareness is the key to opening the door to effective leadership. It is the foundation to emotional and social intelligence. As referred to in the quote above by Tasha Eurich PhD, with self-awareness, leaders are more effective with more satisfied employees and more profitable companies.

A lack of self-awareness can cause you to act and behave in ways that do not serve the teams you lead, or the organisation, in the best possible way. A lack of self-awareness can lead to an under inflated ego as well as an over inflated one.

Some leaders lack self-awareness

Not all leaders are self-aware, and leaders who lack self-awareness are probably not even aware that they lack it. How many times have you met someone who is not aware of the impact their behaviour has on others? They may think they are communicating well, but others see them as arrogant, ignorant, obstructive, or at the other extreme.

Jane could be quite hard on her team if they failed to live up to her expectations of them. With outwardly perfectionist tendencies, her lack of self-awareness meant she was oblivious to the pressure she put them under. Even in her one to ones with them, she was very directive in what she thought their objectives should be.

She initially failed to see that she was the reason why she didn’t have a good relationship with her team. Coaching helped her to develop her self-awareness and see what she needed to do to improve her interpersonal relationships.

Self-awareness enables you to better respond to your emotions

Self-awareness is important for effective leadership not just for people who are introverted, but ALL leaders as well. If you are not aware of what is going on for you, how can you manage your relationships with other people effectively? In a study Dr Eurich carried out, only 10-15% of people fitted the criteria for self-awareness.

With an awareness of your emotions and what thoughts they evoke in you, you can better manage how you respond. Without this awareness, chances are you will respond according to the way you are feeling, which could end up being something you later regret.

To develop self-awareness is more than self-reflection and introspection. It is also requires getting feedback so you can understand how other people perceive you, and the impact your behaviour has on them.

For someone who is introverted, self-awareness enables you to identify the environments and situations that do not play to your introverted preferences. You can then modify your behaviour so that you still perform well without compromising who you are. It enables you to know your strengths and your weaknesses, so you know when to play to your strengths, and how to best support your weaknesses.

With this knowledge you will also be aware of the impact this has on your energy levels and can then manage your energy levels accordingly and put remedies in place.

Putting into practice the following 3 suggestions, will help you to develop your self-awareness:

Self-reflection - Make time for self-reflection. It can help to increase self-awareness. Journaling is a great tool to aid with this. There are numerous benefits leaders can gain from journaling, self-awareness being one of them. Write about your experiences and how you respond to them. What are the emotions and behaviours you respond with?

How do you react when you feel affronted, fearful, threatened, anxious, happy, loved, joyful, and so on? Ask yourself questions that help you explore what is going on for you and what you can do differently to get a different response.

Mind and body observation – become aware of your bodily sensations and your emotions when faced with different situations. Explore what is going on for you and the reason for different bodily sensations. What do you notice when you are stressed or anxious? What happens when you are happy or sad?

Before going into meetings or other situations, pause and take a moment to reflect on how you are feeling, particularly if things have been a bit heavy beforehand. Then put your mind on who you are going to be meeting with. This will help you to refocus and make sure that you don’t carry the emotion from the earlier encounters in with you.

Get feedback – unless other people give you feedback you will never truly know how they perceive you. Getting feedback from others can help you develop your self-awareness. Actively seek feedback from peers, direct reports, indirect reports, stakeholders, and those who you report to.

How does their assessment of you match how you assess yourself? If the way others perceive you is different to how you perceive yourself, something is amiss, and you may want to examine the reason for this.

Emotional self-awareness is key to knowing the most effective course of action for ourselves and for our interpersonal relationships. It is an essential foundation to effective leadership. The more you practice it, the easier it gets, and the more self-aware you become.

How do you go about developing your self-awareness? What is your experience of leaders who lack it?

About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach, Speaker and Trainer, and 4 times LinkedIn Top Voice UK. Known as The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, I coach women who are senior leaders to be visible, to confidently exude presence, to influence, and make an impact.

I also provide workshops, webinars and talks on personal development, career development and leadership development.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here. 

?My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows how these challenges can be overcome. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. You can get your copy here along with a FREE recording of my How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome workshop.