Self-advocate: Tips to show your value

Maybe you’ve been there, are you are there now: not feeling valued at work.

I have been there. When I reflect back on that time, it felt like a dark cloud dominated me, no matter how I tried to shake it. My motivation was lacking, I lost sight of my purpose, and no doubt, my negativity permeated my interactions with my colleagues.?

How did I become that unhappy, negative, unmotivated person? That wasn't (and isn't) me!

In an unplanned moment with my boss, I blurted out:

"I don’t feel valued."

In retrospect, that line was not overly helpful to either one of us. To my boss' credit, she leaned into the conversation. She asked more questions, she slowed my head down, and she distanced me from my emotions.

It took more than one conversation, but I eventually came up with a strategy that only I could have identified. That’s how self-advocating works - you have to figure out your own path and advocate for it, but you cannot do this work alone.

In my case, shaking off the dark cloud started with another discussion with my boss and asking questions like, “What would it look like for me to start my own consulting company?”

Without missing a beat, she said:

“Anything you do to improve yourself outside of work, will only benefit you and our organization when you are at work.”

When she said that, there was no defensiveness or skepticism or anything that might deter me from advocating for myself. In fact, her openness to my self-advocating resulted in me being more engaged, more innovative and being a better problem solver.

As an employee, I could have done some simple strategies to help set my boss up for success, instead of putting her on the spot where she had to come up with perfect response. My own self-development has helped develop a few tips that are tried and true when it comes to self-advocating:

Tip #1: Replace whining with fact

Questions to consider:

• What solid work have you contributed??
• How has your role changed over the last few years??
• What talents are not being used in your current duties??

For example:

• Instead of complaining about not being promoted, outline what you have done to grow yourself, training you have taken, etc.
• Instead of talking about how you deserve a raise because your job has become so much harder, document what has shifted. Tell a story about the shift in the complexity of your work.

Tip #2: Offer a strategy on how your boss can support you get what you want

Questions to consider:

• Where does your boss have the most influence?
• What proverbial hill is your boss willing to stand on and fight?
• What values do you and your boss share??

For example:

• Instead of insisting that you get the funding to go to a conference, give them a bulleted list of why you are the right one to attend, so that you boss can take it up the chain to advocate for your funding.
• Instead of telling them what you want, ask about the resources available in the organization to help you achieve what you are asking for

Tip #3: Highlight the benefits that will come when you get what you want

Questions to consider:

• How will your request contribute to the strategic goals of your company?
• How does your self-advocating fuel collaboration and innovation?
• How does your suggestion improve the work environment?

For example:

• Instead of asking for a promotion, advocate for your succession plan, focusing on how others on your team will benefit and engage as you intentionally grow them as you transition into your promotion.
• Instead of telling a peer group how your process is better, highlight the outcomes of your process, connecting the process with their valuable contributions to the changes in the process.

Tip #4: Own it!

Questions to consider:

• How can I get to the middle of the room (instead of feeling pushed to the corner)?
• How can I prepare my delivery and who can I prepare it with?
• What is the worst thing that could happen? (When you think through the worst thing, you will realize that you can handle it, so you might as well lean into self-advocating.)

For example:

• Instead of asking for permission, go in confident. State fact. Lose the "I think . . . " at the beginning. This tip is not advocating for you to steamroll others until they succumb to your brilliance. This tip is saying that you have to be believable, which comes with you being confident and owning it!
• Practice your delivery. Keep the presentation on the message and not focused on you. Keep the sentences short and simple. Lose the jargon. Talk from your heart, from your passion, from what you know is the next best step.

If you want more details about these strategies, check out this video:

I would love to hear your stories, how you have self-advocated, how you need to self-advocate and the kinds of big goals you have for yourself. You can get there! Let's set up some time to chat.

Message me and tell me about the wins you are having when you implement these strategies. I believe in you. We need you.

Kerri

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Kerri Burchill, PhD is a leadership consultant and coach. She is the founder of North Star Coaching, which helps leaders and teams improve their interpersonal communication, improve trust and increase productivity.

Kerri combines the knowledge from her PhD and 25+ years of leadership experience to help leaders slow down to go fast. She understands how the day-to-day spin can put leaders in a firefighting mode is talented at helping leaders true to follow their North Star.?Kerri has worked in three countries and currently consults with leaders and teams in a variety of industries.

Kerri offers training, coaching, team development, and leadership round table groups. She is comfortable facilitating messy conversations, shifting mindsets and holding leaders accountable to shine like the North Star. Kerri has published articles in peer-reviewed books and is currently working on a book capturing the inspirational stories of leaders and their growth.?Check out her YouTube channel, for more leadership and communication tips.