Self-Advocacy and Benefits to Your Child

I have observed a generational problem. Children think others are looking out for their best interest; they believe their parents, teachers, or other adults are looking out for them. So, they drown out their inner voices. Self-advocacy is the ability to speak up for yourself and the things necessary to you. The first step is a deep understanding of oneself. Self-advocacy means knowing and choosing what you want for YOU! It does not mean you cannot get help or support. But, you take responsibility for your choices. For example, a child should pick their career path. As parents, we should guide and support them. A friend shared a story with me about wanting to study nutrition, but his Dad insisted that he studied engineering. He followed his Dad's advice and studied engineering but struggled through school. Luckily, today, he has pivoted back to nutrition, owning a chain of restaurants. With children being more reliant on parents and teachers making decisions for them, the adverse effect of not practicing self-advocacy is compounding.

"Self-advocacy is the art of speaking up, asking questions, and stating your needs. Kids can develop these skills at a young age, learning to represent themselves constructively" Hally Spiller, Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

It's essential to model and encourage youth to develop self-advocacy skills early, as it helps them decide what they want and what is possible for them to expect. With self-advocacy skills, they have more control and can make the best life decisions. If they make a poor choice, they have themselves to learn from. Being a self-advocate has many benefits. It builds confidence in one's decisions and actions. Furthermore, kids who can embrace this mindset will be more confident and likely to succeed in school, work, and life because they know they can believe in themselves and bounce back or ask for help.

"Confidence is one half of success," Kimberly Selchan.

Self-advocacy has three elements: Understanding. Knowing and Communicating:

• For example, a child might be in a class and struggle to keep up. The child "understands" that he is having a problem keeping up.
• He "knows" he would need the teacher to slow down or that he might need tutorials.
• He then "communicates" this to his teacher in the classroom to repeat some key concepts, then further requests that his parents engage a tutor for him to review the concepts taught in class thoroughly.

The example outlines the core areas of Self-advocacy. You will notice that communication completes the process because the child might know of a challenge and keep it inside. With no solution, the problem would only grow; however, clear communication helps the child nip the challenge in the bud. Alternatively, Self-advocacy is not only for weaknesses but also for communicating strengths and opportunities. As a community, I have always believed that we tend to focus on our weaknesses to become average rather than on our strengths to become exceptional; meanwhile, the abundant rewards in life are in excellence. Therefore, children should also be encouraged to advocate for their strengths and opportunities.

In conclusion, as adults must encourage our children to speak up for themselves actively by creating a warm, receptive atmosphere for communication at home or school. Over time, children can master self-advocacy and regain their confidence in decision-making.

If you want to help your child build self-advocacy skills or need more insights on the topic, leave a message in my DM!

Let's work together to support the next generation of adults.

Kimberly Selchan, Resilient One, and Tutor Doctor Owner

My mission: “To help today's youth become tomorrow's successful adults.”

Tutor Doctor Chandler-Gilbert