Seizing Your Destiny | A Path Defined by Seconds and Moments.

I was four years old when my parents — after a short stint of young marriage — decided to get divorced. There isn’t much I can recollect about my formative years growing up, except for a few moments here and there; such as the time I spent with my mother in the townhouse she moved into after the divorce, the savings of whatever spare change I could muster up to purchase a Cabbage Patch Kid (whom I named Neil) and the faint memory of playing on the large rock in the front yard of the last house my parents lived in before parting ways. My parents are both incredible human beings and through a youth of spending every other week shuffling myself back and forth between their two homes (they lived in neighboring cities), I give them praise for pushing aside any differences they had to focus on their one common denominator…me.

Growing up amongst two different families, I realized quickly that my parents were indeed two very different personalities, harboring truly different ideologies and theories of how to live life and how to spend life. Neither was right, nor wrong, in their path. Just different. My father re-married shortly after the divorce and my weeks spent in that household were comprised of more frugal mentalities and pretty strong traditional family driven values, such as eating at home around the dining room table as a family. Not much money was afforded to extravagant vacations or the purchase of items that fell outside the realm of necessities. One particular instance I recall is that when playing youth soccer, we would forgo buying the kick-ass, colorful Adidas soccer socks that every other kid had, in favor of utilizing the white Hanes tube socks that I already had in my top dresser drawer and conveniently fit over the shin guards I had.

On the other side of the spectrum, my mother had also found love and re-married shortly after the divorce to a well accomplished man that carried a position as VP of a large corporation. Approximately 10 to 15 miles away from my father’s house, the experience at my mom’s home was a very different one. It was one that came with lavish Christmases, trips to Disney World every summer and dinners out nearly every night. Granted they still imposed a frugal life lesson upon me here and there. It is safe to say my childhood teetered on the edges of two polar opposites…black and white. But somehow it all worked and today I often contribute my love for life and work ethic to being parented in what ended up being a perfect ‘grey area’.

So what does this have to do with seizing your destiny?

Well, through the vast differences of lifestyle and household cultures, there is one crystal clear memory that I have and of which has truly guided my experiences, hopes, aspirations and the way I view my journey. It has been a foundation for how I make decisions and for the people I decide to include and exclude in my life. It has been a north star for my belief that something or someone has ordained that I should make the most of my life and do something spectacular. It has fueled my appreciation for even having the opportunity to be alive and not take for granted the things that me and my family have.

In short, on two separate occasions I was told the same impactful thing by both of my parents and at separate times…which was this:

“Seth, our marriage was short and probably should not have happened being as young as we were, however, serendipity brought us together for one reason; to have you. You were child of purpose, brought into this world for a reason. So seize it.”

Heavy Right?

To this day I cannot help but consider that the words of Gary Vaynerchuck have never resonated more. Our chances of existing as a human being are 400 trillion:1. The circumstances for my parents to get together, get married and on one night decide to have a child is fascinating and awe-inspiring. If one thing, one event, one missed flight, one instance of car engine trouble, one childhood move to another state would have altered one of my parents’ life paths, there is a definitive chance that I would not be sitting here writing this right now. This rings true for all of us.

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“Life is a game of seconds my friends. It is a journey that is shaped by a series of choices, coupled with the power of a greater force that is puppeteering us into the destiny that has been set for us. It is the only logic I can come up with.”

Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash

Fast forward to 1992. I was 12 years old and with my father and stepmother in the car on the way to Moline, Illinois to visit my grandparents. It wasn’t long after we had left the house and were traveling south on I-35 heading out of Minnesota. It was a beautiful day and I remember vividly sitting in the backseat and reading to myself, extremely excited to complete the six hour drive and see Grandpa Bud and Grandma Virginia. Cruising down the freeway and deep into my book, I remember being shadowed as we passed an 18-wheeler on its passenger side. No longer than the exact moment our back bumper cleared its front bumper, the 18-wheeler careened off of the freeway and as misfortune had it, struck three cars parked on the shoulder, sending them spinning into the middle lanes and causing a substantial pile up of wreckage. We learned later that the three cars on the side of the road were fixing a spare and that three people perished immediately, along with two other drivers that were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is unknown if the driver of the semi truck had fallen asleep or had a medical condition, but what will never elude my mind is the fact that passing by that semi truck seconds later, and we would have been right there alongside the truck as it veered to its demise, bringing us with it.

Life is a game of seconds my friends. It is a journey that is shaped by a series of choices, coupled with the power of a greater force that is puppeteering us into the destiny that has been set for us. It is the only logic I can come up with.

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“Life is a crazy roadmap defined by seconds. Inches. Choices.”

Photo by Piron Guillaume on Unsplash

The year is 2017. At 27 years old I am now one year into my amazing marriage to the love of my life, Jenny. We are headed to the dermatologist for a simple procedure of getting an unsightly mole removed for Jenny, me as her support system along for the ride. With the swipe of the knife and a few stitches, the simple surgery was quick and painless. As we pack up to head out, I recall an abnormal mole I had occasionally noticed on my right calf. Over time it had increased in size, grown odd in shape and become variant in color. Being that I was at the dermatologist, I had figured it would be prudent to ask the doc to take a quick peek at what I had been vacillating on with this mole. With one look, he told me, “Seth, you are already here and it never hurts to be on the safe side.” Thus, I too quickly went under the knife and before I knew it was minus one calf mole. All good. Or so I thought.

Approximately one week later, I had received a phone call from the dermatology office with the words that nobody wants to hear. The mole removed from my right calf had traces of melanoma and it was imperative that I schedule a return visit immediately. Now, I had heard of the mortality rates of melanoma and was certainly privy to the fact that skin cancer is one of the deadliest forms of cancer in existence. Needless to say, I wanted to throw up.

The second trip to the Dermatologist yielded a larger format surgery in which a two by two inch section of my calf skin was removed and luckily for me, being caught at the early onset, the melanoma was completely gone through surgical procedure, with no radiation or follow-up treatments needed. I dodged a bullet on that one.

But one thing with that story continually rings through my head. Again, going back to my thesis above that life’s journey is shaped by choices, I would be remised to not consider the sequence of events that led me to that dermatologist on that day. What if I had not met my wife? What if she was not determined to remove an unsightly mole? What if I didn’t accompany her that day? And certainly the other millions of minuscule decisions that fall in between. I might have never had that mole removed — or it might have been too late — and rapid melanoma growth could have been my demise.

Life is a crazy roadmap defined by seconds. Inches. Choices. And the fact that I am still privileged enough to be on this earth after the myriad of ‘near death’ misses I’ve experienced has led me to dig extremely deep into my personal meaning and purpose on this planet. I often look out — whether at the airport or Central Park in New York, or the beach out by us in Southern California — at the people around me in wonder. What is that person’s life like? What does that person do for a living? What is that person going through in their life? And what purpose is that person serving on this planet?

It is that question of “what purpose am I serving on this planet” that collided with a moment on May 12, 2019 and has altered my family’s path of purpose. I was sitting in our master bathroom getting ready to head to our community pool with Jenny and our son Graham. Having undergone my melanoma scare years ago, I for obvious reasons have become more aware of skin protection against the sun’s harmful rays. I asked Jenny to hand me our basket of sun care products and started to lather up in preparation for a day in the sun. As I glided the greasy ointment over my skin, I gave a good hard look at the ingredients list on the varying backs of the packaging. The lists were long and included such ingredients as Oxybenzone, Octinoxate and Octisalate. What in the hell were these? Heck I cant’ even pronounce these. “Jenny” I called, “do you know what any of these ingredients are and have you ever wondered if what we put on our skin is actually more harmful than the sun itself?”. This was the million dollar question that started us on our quest for answers. As research would have it, the FDA earlier this year actually put out a bulletin that it would be conducting further research on ingredients, 12 specifically, that had been previously approved by the FDA and are now under the microscope for their question of efficacy and safety. You see, research now shows that ingredients put on the human skin can be absorbed into the bloodstream within minutes and with certain chemical compounds such as octinoxate and octisalate having research data reporting endocrine disruption and cancer contribution. COME AGAIN?!? We couldn’t believe what we were coming across in our research.

Having skin cancer once, I was not about to continue down the path of “contributing” to the possibility of future cancer. Our minds were racing with a myriad of different questions like, “why, over the decades and in a current era of wellness awareness, has the sun protection industry become so complacent with formulas and why in the world is the public not putting more personal scrutiny as to what is being put on their skin?” Furthermore, we thought to ourselves, “with new studies showing the benefits that CBD has on the human body, how have we not come across a CBD version of sunscreen?”

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Hence, a journey was started.

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Outside of our full times jobs; me as an accomplished 19 year real estate practitioner and Jenny as a Creative Director for a packaging firm, we spent every available second buried in our own version of research and development (R&D). There were hours of investigation into what ingredients could achieve the most viable natural products and a multitude of compound formulations that were created in our kitchen. Late nights in the bed had Jenny and I tapping into our design backgrounds, creating ideations of logos, packaging and labeling. Calls to legal had us filing trademarks and our accountant behind the scenes was incorporating a new company. Relationships with CBD suppliers were formed and money started flying out the door. What was happening we thought? This is crazy. We are a well established family, with great careers and living a very comfortable life in Southern California. Do we really need to burden ourselves with the time, energy and money it could take to create something that might end up being a failure? Without hesitation, the answer for both of us was very clear. YES. It was our destiny and it was our duty to seize it. And Sol Labs? was born.

Remember, a life is defined by seconds, choices and moments. A long list of choices and series of events had guided Jenny and I to that one second, in that bathroom, reviewing those particular sunscreen labels. Me, a lucky melanoma survivor that had barely missed being taken out by an 18-wheeler and born of two parents that at a young age, managed to get together for just enough time to procreate and bear a son. And Jenny, through a series of her own life’s events ended up being my wife, a mother, a business partner and right there alongside me at that very pivotal moment. To ignore this calling would be an insult to the people, events and higher powers that — through the will of destiny — guided us to these moments.

So I beg of you. Stop floating around life ignoring serendipity. Go into the world with your eyes open and be cognizant as to what is happening around and in front of you. Because you do have a purpose…we all do…and at any moment your destiny could pop into clarity. Seize it.