Seize the (quarantined) Day

I wrote this a couple of years ago upon the occasion of my daughter’s graduation from high school. With the dramatic and devastating turn of current events, I see what many of my family members, friends and my friend’s children are going through; lost jobs, careers on hold, summer jobs not yet allowed. Financial stresses. Relationships are on pause and physical distancing causing a unique kind of loneliness.

This has been a major economic and emotional hit for most of us. But there might be a silver lining, a kind of a sudden renaissance, a reawakening that perhaps would not had happened had you not been forced to. What if you need to try something new, to support yourself and your family? Are you afraid to try? Are you afraid what people will say if your new idea doesn’t work right away?

This is the letter I wrote to my daughter, Teya:

“Teya, you have finally graduated from high school, about to embark on the adventure of writing your own story. We have enjoyed this amazing senior year with you... homecoming, competitions, prom, baccalaureate mass, graduation, celebration, and anticipation. I have been trying to think about what to write for you.

Teya, I want you to fail.

Fail spectacularly. Fail earnestly. Fail with flair and substance.

Work hard in a way that you can be fiercely proud, then look past the short-term result. Real results will come only after an awful lot of fails. Give your ego a little time to fully feel each disappointment, and then get on with the job of doing it again. Do not live too long in the discouragement, sweet girl.

You, Teya, are a strong and powerful woman. Live in this truth and embrace it.

The world wants us all to be mediocre. So, even the people closest to you will lovingly suggest that you give up. They will tell you to go with the flow, or that things happen for a reason, or that you should pause and be happy with where you are. They will say you shouldn’t embarrass yourself. They will say it is good enough. They will say you have reached your ceiling. You will be tempted to believe them.

Don’t.

Instead, re-evaluate each fail. How could it be done better? Be nimble. Take risks. Recognize each failure, re-cast it, shift a little to the left or right, prepare well, work hard at the renewed objective, and try again. Lovingly ignore those who wish you would stay where you are.

Rise above. Because God has huge plans for you. Be relentless in your pursuit of His amazing gifts he has embedded in your soul. Let them shine bright, even if you must strike a million different matches to make it so.

For it is through the most spectacular and devastating fails that you will find the most wonderful, magnificent, and transformative successes.

I love you. I believe in you.”

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison

I get it – there is little room for error if you need to pay your mortgage and buy groceries. But without error, there is no growth. If you are not falling, you are not learning. If you start today, don’t be afraid to make mistakes – it won’t feel like it, but you are moving ahead. The alternative is paralysis, which does nothing to move you forward.

Seize the day.