Be Seen

I’ve been working with an awesome career coach, Jason Hopper. He encouraged me to connect with Katherine McCord, who is passionate about raising awareness of Neurodiversity in the hiring process and workplace.?I learned so much in our recent meeting. ?

I grew up learning to hide everything about mental health. If you were exposed there was instant judgement and bias, both personally and professionally.? It defined you.

In the 40’s and 50’s kids with ADHD were seen as kids who chose to misbehave, often suffering severe consequences.?

In the 70’s and 80’s kids like me were diagnosed with Hyperactivity. The medical community was beginning to identify, understand, and treat a genetic neurological disorder effecting a person’s ability to pay attention and control behavior.??

I was 5 when started on Ritalin. Teachers and school nurses would openly announce “time to take your pills' in front of the class twice daily, creating a perception of different, abnormal, flawed.?

It became easier to study exhaustively and live with the disappointment of often failing grades than to be known as the weirdo who took pills to be normal.??

In my senior year I was told it would take an extra 18 months for me to graduate. Instead, I got my GED.?With ADHD and dyslexia, a four-year college experience seemed impossible.?

My oldest son was invited to repeat kindergarten, the diagnosis of ADHD not even in question.?He was binging off the walls straight out of the womb.?I couldn’t imagine him having to suffer the social ramifications of medication, my own experiences overflowing into his life.

By 5th grade medication was his only hope. And with all my personal experience, I was ill equipped to help him navigate the social challenges.

A day in the life of ADHD kids is about never being good enough, constant effort to be seen and heard, to be normal.?Wanting desperately to belong, always feeling separate from. Trying unsuccessfully every day to live down the perception of being the weirdo, freak, stupid, lazy, hyper, crazy.?It’s no wonder that as adults we hide.?

At 40 I reluctantly addressed ADHD with my doctor, tested on the high side, and the medication prescribed didn’t work. I threw my hands in the air. Doing what I’d always done to this point would have to be enough. Back to hiding, and accepting this as my normal.

Seeing much more open dialogue about learning disabilities in recent years, this December my doctor and I started from scratch, again testing high.?But this time it was pointed out that I possess some ADHD superpowers…strong logical and strategic thinker, excellent leader of teams and projects, among others. Although I have a good number of strategies in place, focus (the major challenge), is much harder than it is for someone without ADHD. A different medication with strong potential for success was prescribed.

Medication could possibly remove some of my need to over manage through daily tasks, and yet I find myself staring at that prescription bottle every day, still unwilling to try it, because how do I explain to future employers why lab results are positive for a controlled substance, albeit prescribed?

From Jason I’ve learned to post content about what I know. I know about ADHD.

Katherine encouraged me to lean into what I’m passionate about.?I’m passionate about inclusion, vulnerability, connection, taking actions in favor of my values, regardless of how uncomfortable those actions may feel.

I’m passionate about having the biggest life possible. And I’m no longer willing to let my uniqueness rob me of that.??

I’m passionate about making a difference, and that has to start somewhere.??

So, let’s start here…

I refuse to be unseen any longer.

So should you.

Because you’re worthy of being seen, exactly and authentically as you are.

You're worth it.

So am I.

To those who are working tirelessly to bring awareness to Neurodiversity…I want you to know you’ve provided a door for people like me to walk through, to finally be seen. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for you.?So incredibly grateful.?

?Margaux Joffe, CPACC, Tiffany A. Yu, MSc

#makeadifferenceinsomeoneslifetoday #mentalhealth #mentalhealthatwork #mentalhealthmatters #neurodiversity #humanresources