Seeking Safety For Black Women

Seeing Yourself Saying Hello

I took a chance and said “hello” to the beautiful bronze bodies that glowed in the Grecian sun, and I did this everywhere during my recent trip to London and Greece.?

Seeing black women abroad felt like reconnecting with a long-lost friend, and I wouldn’t let these opportunities pass me by.

All it took was a ‘hello,’ we instantly melted into each other with hugs, chatter, and laughter.??

We could sense that traveling internationally with skin, hair, and bodies like ours likely came with all too familiar challenges to those born with Black or Brown bodies.?

Wired For Protection

African American women, in particular, are wired to seek safety from white supremacist practices that have targeted and harmed us historically and globally.?

Many of us have implicit memories of maltreatment (personal, familial or cultural) embedded deep within, making us hyper-aware of micro and macro insults, assaults, and aggressions.?

Consequently, as a survival mechanism, our nervous systems constantly scan the environment for potential danger and avenues to safety. This alone is exhausting.?

If you are still asking yourself why we felt a sense of relief, here are a few reasons why:

• Because it’s tiring to be told you are too loud, threatening, or aggressive.?
• Because it’s tiring to be told that your body, hair, or skin type doesn’t fit the work culture.?
• Because it’s tiring to be paid less than her white counterparts or passed over for job promotions.
• Because it’s tiring to be excluded or discriminated against.
• Because it’s tiring to be targeted for physical and sexual violence.?
• Because it’s tiring to be on guard all of the time.

Experiencing these and other injustices repeatedly, over time, can promote toxic stress and an adverse wear and tear effect on the bodies of Black women.

Safe Within A Tribe?

Finding a tribe or being with your 'people’ with a shared lived experience can feel comforting. It gives your nervous system permission to relax.

Most Black women of the African diaspora experience instant connection and a level of safety, when they see themselves reflected in them.

Black women share similar cultural experiences that connect us spiritually and energetically. This is evident when we share stories understood by nothing more than tongue-clicking, eye rolls, and a ‘Wooo Chile!’

When the ladies in the photo made eye contact on the Island of Santorini, there was an instant sense of belonging and a collective ‘sigh of relief,' much like when you can kick off your shoes or loosen your bra after a long day at work.?

Seeing our image reflected in others is the ‘permission slip’ needed to let go. A validating environment gives us permission to stop constricting the muscles in our shoulders, abdomens, and around our eyes. When our safety is not threatened, we can relax and let go.

Why This Matters

Black womanhood, unfortunately, means that there is an increased likelihood of gender and racial discrimination that some studies show leads to adverse health outcomes and premature aging.

Therefore, Black women need a place to rest and restore those weary parts, constantly on guard and scanning for potential threats. For some, taking up Pilates or yoga does the trick. For others joining an exercise or walking group like #Girltrek provides the much-needed comfort from being in a sisterhood.

Additionally, there are empowerment, psychotherapy, and other support groups for Black women who require a deeper exploration of their experiences.

This is largely why I do the work that I do and why I am running a group every Sunday for the next five weeks.?

My virtual groups offer a space where black women, with all their intersectional identities, have a container to be themselves. Be free to express a spectrum of energy from loud and vivacious to soft introversion, with impunity.?

This group is designed to be a brave space for Black women to share the challenges of family, work, relationships, and systemic biases that make life more difficult.?

If you missed the opportunity to join The ‘Tap into Wellness‘ group that begins June 11th, there will be other opportunities.

Gena Golden, LCSW, NBCCH, is an anti-oppression+holistic psychotherapist and culturally attuned hypnotherapist. She specializes in working with women of color impacted by toxic and traumatic work environments (including spaces of higher learning); strained mother/daughter relationships; religious trauma; social phobias (social anxiety, performance & test anxiety) resulting in internalized forms of oppression, imposter syndrome, and an inner critic. Additionally, she is a coach trained in Positive Psychology and Neuroscience-informed practices.

To learn more, please click the link below.

https://linktr.ee/genagoldenLCSW.?