SEEKING THAT ELUSIVE EDGE BY LOOKING WITHIN!

Isn’t this first week of the autumn break great? Especially after a longer than usual first term, with the teaser of Easter offering you an all-too-short four-day taster before you had to gird up your loins again for a nine-day sprint to the holidays, you were truly ready for this break! Your people were tired; you were tired; the kids were ratty.

In fact, admit that you were emotionally flat. Heard yourself being irritable with staff and students alike. You felt blunted – it was as if you had lost your edge.

?Like Sarah – a likely-fictitious urban high school Principal to whom Edweek contributor and host of the Better Leaders Better Schools podcast, Danny Bauer, refers (in Want a Leadership Edge? You Already Have What You Need: 10 tips for responding to challenging situations, in Edweek, 8 April 24).

?Like many principals, Sarah was dedicated yet also found herself overwhelmed by the daily challenges of the role, Bauer recounts. Staff conflicts, student discipline, and the pressure to meet performance targets tested her limits. Her response to challenging situations, especially during high-stakes meetings, was markedly different from and misaligned with the leadership presence she wanted to exhibit.

During one tense meeting discussing student discipline, Bauer continues, a colleague questioned Sarah’s proposal for how to address discipline, suggesting it was “tone deaf” and not grounded in reality. “We need a principal who supports us,” the teacher said. Sarah immediately fired back, “Perhaps if you actually cared about kids and focused on building relationships, we wouldn’t have these problems.!’

Bauer narrates what happened next: Immediately, Sarah was ashamed. Worse yet, her ego got in the way of an apology and ownership. Everyone sat silent and uncomfortable. Not only did her reaction shut down constructive dialogue, it also alienated her colleague and others who might have shared similar concerns. This moment highlighted a leadership approach driven by immediate emotional reactions rather than thoughtful, reflective, inclusive decision making. Reflecting himself on what has occurred, Bauer references leading social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, who says, sometimes, the emotional tail wags the rational dog.

Bauer affirms Sarah for her response to this moment of shame-filled self-reflection. Through thinking things through quietly, she calmed her mind, and determined within herself to strive to be less reactive. Fortunately for Sarah, she enagaged in self-reflection, and something interesting happened. Her colleague had perhaps been partly right. Buried in the busyness of the last few weeks of the term, perhaps she had taken her eye off the ball. A tired classroom teacher had lashed out, alleging lack of support from her as Principal.

But instead of taking her normal obligatory deep breath to pause and to remind herself of who the teacher was and what she could quickly recall of their previous encounters, which may have offered clues to this crudely public outburst, Sarah lost control, and, admittedly undignifiedly, flashed back. The challenges remained the same, but Sarah did not.

She found her leadership edge though quietening her mind and disciplining herself to be less reactive, Bauer suggests. Through her deliberate, intentional self-reflection on her thoughts and emotions in that awful moment, she realised she had failed to observe and remain detached. She realised how important self-reflection and self-awareness are in a leader, especially in such moments.

She willed herself to embrace what Daniel Goleman describes as the first and foremost attribute of an emotionally intelligent leader. She came to understand that being more consciously self-aware – more mindful, in Bauer’s terms - transferred readily to the context of the usual in her day-to-day of school leadership.

Bauer’s narrative goes on: On one particularly tense morning, a conflict erupted between two staff members right before school. Prior to the incident in the staff meeting, Sarah might have reacted automatically, driven by stress and emotion. But this time, she paused, took a deep breath, and centred herself with an instant of self-reflection as she’d learned. This brief pause allowed her to approach the situation with a calm focus, facilitating a resolution that left both parties feeling heard and respected, Bauer avers.

As Bauer helpfully points out, Sarah’s transformation wasn’t magic. In fact, says Bauer, Sarah already had everything within her that she needed to call upon and leverage this leadership edge. And best of all, he adds, you do, too.

Your Leadership Edge

According to Bauer, the key is intentional and sustained self-reflection. Disciplined self-reflection led to increased self-awareness, which in turn helped Sarah navigate the complexities of school leadership with confidence and grace. Being more mindful of her own thoughts and emotions through self-reflection honed her leadership edge, which she refined through conscious practice. Disciplined self-reflection enabled Sarah to break free from her debilitating automatic responses, while conserving her mental and emotional energy for what matters most, Bauer explains.

Sarah’s experience illustrates the benefits of being a self-reflective, self-aware leader:

Decision making.?Taking a reflective pause – however brief - before reacting to a situation before you, allows you to explore your options and thus make more thoughtful, better considered, decisions.

Empathy and communication.?A self-aware leader, as Goleman demonstrated, is better equipped to listen and understand and connect and empathise with all those for whom they are responsible.

Stress management.?Regular self-reflection can reduce the stress that accompanies school leadership, leading to an improved quality of life.

Innovative thinking.?By quieting the mind and clearing it of clutter, self-reflection opens the door to creative problem-solving and innovative thinking necessary to take your staff and your school to the next level.

10 Tips to Maintain Your Leadership Edge

Honing and developing your self-awareness might seem challenging amid the fast pace of school leadership, but it’s much more accessible than most think, Bauer asserts, offering 10 tips to integrate self-reflection into your life and leadership:

Tip 1: Embrace grace.?Begin. And begin again.

Tip 2: Forget perfection. There’s no “perfect” session. Each situation you face sits within its own experience.

Tip 3: Start early.?Before the day slips away. It’s a serene bridge from work to family life.?

Tip 4: Choose your quiet place.?A dedicated place where you regularly sit and reflect sets the stage.

Tip 5: Environment matters.?Hygge?is a Danish word for a comfortable supportive environment which nurtures reflection and deep thought. Create an environment that is free from distractions, and that supports your reflective thinking.

Tip 6: See everything, every moment, as an opportunity.?Remember, in Mandarin, the character representing Challenge is the same as the character representing Opportunity. Embrace the grace of time and place. Resist the default of scrolling on your phone. Look around you. Your emails will still be there when you get back to the office. You are loved and esteemed without having to check that you still exist on Facebook. Resist. Put your phone away.

Tip 7: Two is better than one.?Self-reflection with a trusted colleague, partner of friend is doubly beneficial. You can hear your own voice recounting what you are thinking and feeling. Get it out of your eternal conversation with yourself in your head. Hear your own voice express it. Find someone you can connect with and reflect with, to encourage and challenge you to keep going.

Tip 8: Embrace your wandering mind.?The mind wanders. That’s OK. Notice. Gently return.

Tip 9: Journal the journey.?Track your reflections. Revelations. Challenges. Growth.

Tip 10: Start Small.?The first step is what matters most. Maybe you begin reflecting for three minutes each day. Build to five, then increase to 15.

Call to Action

Bauer wants you to start self-reflecting right now. How? Take a minute to close your eyes. Allow yourself to settle in your seat. Feel your body in your chair, your feet on the floor. Begin to focus on your breathing. Notice that it’s automatic. You don’t have to will yourself to breathe in or out. As you breathe in, you might note in your mind, “breathing in.” On the exhale, you might think, “breathing out.” As your mind begins to wander — and it will wander — begin again and bring attention back to your breath. Do this for as long as you like, and when you feel ready, gently open your eyes, acclimatise yourself to your surroundings, and embrace the hygge. Focus on the things you are thinking and feeling, on you, your aspirations for this day, on your people and how you will help them to grow their own gifts and talents today. On your students, and how they will grow through their encounters and experiences this day. If you are a person of faith, pray.

As Bauer reminds you, the transformation that Sarah experienced is not unique to her and is available for any school leader willing to look inward and develop the habit of intentional self-reflection.

And the biggest gift? Bauer concludes: The challenges will not change, but you will.

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