Seeing Value - Influence: Becoming the Person Others Want to Follow

If you've spent five minutes with a homeless person or a few days with someone materially impoverished at home or abroad, you've had the opportunity to do something most people will never take the time to do. Most won’t do so because they lack this vital trait in becoming the person others want to follow.

Influencers – Great Leaders – See Value in Everyone.
That means they look past color, gender, birthplace, socioeconomic status, and educational background. If it is a box we use to put others into, true leaders remove the box and see the person.

Seeing one’s value and treating them in kind, empowers those individuals. It removes an imaginary pecking order and lifts them up. Seeing value in everyone reminds them of the dignity they already deserve; and it builds confidence, trust, and respect.

Positional leadership is a type of leadership based solely on your status and title. Many times positional leaders overvalue themselves and undervalue everyone else. Don’t be mistaken: a leader does not a title make.

More than money, more than possession, one of the greatest gifts we can give is to truly see and value each other.
– Dan Rosenblatt

Seeing the value in everyone requires intention every day. It's not about simply checking something off the list because you feel forced to do it. It's about being genuine and truly believing that others are significant. Seeing value in everyone is about your character. And character shines through every time. It can only be faked so long.

If you've made a living by stepping on others and debasing them; if you've been dishonest and treated people unfairly due to your own personal agenda; if you've treated others like pawns in your game rather than human beings with families and goals and dreams, it will catch up to you. One way or another.

In 1981 Albert Mehrabian of UCLA published a study on implicit communication called “Silent Messages”. Concerning messages pertaining to feelings and attitudes: 7% is conveyed in words; 38% is conveyed in the way those words are spoken; and 55% is conveyed by facial expression and body language. https://www.kaaj.com/psych/smorder.html

In short, 93% of what you say is in how you say it, not in the words you actually use. Saying that you value others and showing that you value others are two very different things. Your words only say so much.

Case Study
One of my mentors had a way of seeing the value in people. Everywhere he went crowds of people literally followed him. Wherever he was going, he would walk slowly and acknowledge people, speaking to them, getting to know them, and asking them questions. He didn't have money to give them, because he valued them so highly that he gave up everything for them. And they loved him for it. Billions have followed him.

He saw them for who they could be, not for their mistakes or the wrong they'd done. People received freedom from their pain. They received respite in their lives. And they received pardons from their past.

We can and should live this too.

So how does this play into leadership?
Our teams are made of people from all different backgrounds, shapes, and sizes. They all have their own stories and their own motives for why they come to work.

If you don't take the time to invest in them and build trust by getting to know them, it is likely that they will not take the time to invest in you or get to know you. They won’t walk with you. They’ll walk behind you. You'll have a traditional, positional, boss-employee relationship and you won't maximize the positive influence you can have in their lives. They will follow you because they have to do so, not because they want to do so.

Take them all out to lunch. Ask them personal questions. Stop by their desk. Greet them daily. Seek to learn something from them! Everyone has something to teach and share. When you seek to learn from others, they will understand that you value what they have to say, what they think, and who they are.

Action Step
My father and grandfather taught me to value people from a young age by living this principal. It is a lifelong discipline, not a light switch. If you don’t practice it yet, I'd suggest starting now.

We are creatures of habit and stick to our comforts. Today, create a new habit of stepping outside of your comfort zone. Go out of your way to speak with someone you wouldn’t ordinarily approach. Get to know someone new today.

Who haven't you talked to before because you think – "it doesn't benefit me in any way," or "they have nothing to do with my life"?

Start valuing people. Start now.

Your Turn
What do you think about Seeing Value in Everyone? Please leave your comments below.

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Dan loves building relationships and encouraging others. He thrives when learning and sharing that knowledge. As a newly wed, he is greatly enjoying this period in life as family takes second in his "Five F's" (see profile). Dan has led various sales teams, served as president of multiple organizations, and coached in athletics. He has presented at leadership conferences and workshops. Dan currently works as a Director of Sales and mentors a group of high schoolers who are looking to grow and excel.

For other posts in this series: Please visit this page.