Seeing Through New Eyes: How Naive Realism Shapes Our Conflicts and How We Can Overcome It

Think of conflict as a clash you've probably experienced more times than you can count. It happens when what you want, believe, or need doesn't match up with someone else's. This could pop up anywhere - with your friends, at your job, or between countries.

When it comes to conflict at work, when conflict arises, there are a plethora of causes that may have triggered the conflict. There may have been a certain change within the organization, ambiguity concerning roles or resources or personalities simply clash.

We've all been there. Sometime we can resolve these things and sometimes we simply can't be able to. Oftentimes, in situations such as this, we hear ourselves thinking, "If they would just understand what I'm saying or if they would just listen."

And you know what, you're pretty much on the right track. When it comes to conflict, there are many tricks the brain plays on us that prevents us and others from doing just that. In this article I'm going to talk about just one of these tricks: naive realism.

What is Naive Realism?

Naive realism is a trick our brains play on us, making us believe that we see the world exactly as it is. It convinces us that our perception of any situation, person, or event is the absolute truth, while anyone who disagrees with us must be uninformed, irrational, or biased. It's like wearing invisible glasses that filter the world around us, yet we swear we're seeing everything in HD clarity.

What's it got to do with us?

Evolutionarily, naive realism served us by simplifying decision-making and enhancing group cohesion. In a world where quick decisions could mean the difference between life and death, understanding the world in straightforward terms was beneficial. It also helped in forming tight-knit communities with shared beliefs and perceptions, crucial for survival. Like many biases that were crucial for early humans, they now often get in the way in our modern and complex world.

Naive Realism in Conflict

In conflicts, naive realism acts like gasoline on a fire. It's the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality. When both sides in a conflict are convinced of their own righteousness and the other's folly, finding common ground becomes nearly impossible. It's not just thinking the other person is wrong; it's often failing to understand how they could possibly see things differently. This can lead to a breakdown in communication, escalation of conflict, and a failure to resolve the underlying issues.

Breaking Free from Naive Realism

So, how do we avoid falling into the trap of naive realism? Here are a few strategies:

Acknowledge it: The first step is recognizing that naive realism exists and that it affects everyone, including you. Understanding that your perception of reality is not the only version out there is crucial.

Seek to understand: Make a conscious effort to understand the other person's point of view. Ask questions, listen actively, and try to see the situation through their eyes. This doesn't mean you have to agree, but understanding their perspective can help de-escalate conflicts.

Embrace humility: Accept that you might not have all the answers. Being open to being wrong can be powerful in resolving conflicts. It allows for dialogue and opens up the possibility of finding a middle ground.

Practice perspective-taking: Regularly challenge yourself to consider situations from different perspectives. This can broaden your understanding and reduce the automatic assumption that your view is the only correct one.

Encourage open dialogue: Foster an environment where differing opinions are not just tolerated but encouraged. Open dialogue can uncover assumptions and biases, paving the way for more effective conflict resolution.

By being aware of naive realism and actively working to mitigate its effects, we can improve not only how we navigate conflicts but also how we interact with the world around us. It's about moving from a "me against you" mindset to a more collaborative "us finding a solution" approach. Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate conflict; it's to manage it in a way that respects all perspectives and seeks constructive outcomes.

Conflict, making peace and understanding one another are a huge passion of mine. If you are interested in finding out more about communication and conflict? Just drop me a line :)

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