Seeing the Human in Those We Disagree With

Let’s get real. We all have our moments where we feel like we’re right, and everyone else is wrong. But as Tony Robbins puts it, “Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly.” It’s not about lowering your standards or pretending you agree when you don’t—it’s about appreciating that the person in front of you has lived a life, with their own experiences, challenges, and victories. When we stop trying to win every argument and start appreciating the person, the dynamic shifts from conflict to connection.

Confidence comes from seeing the bigger picture. As a master NLP practitioner, I know that every belief and opinion comes from someone’s unique mental map. They didn’t just wake up one day and choose to be wrong (even if it feels that way!). Like Ben Hardy says, “Your personality isn’t permanent, it’s a reflection of how you see the world.” So, the next time you’re staring someone down in a heated debate, take a second to remind yourself: this person’s opinion is a result of their life’s journey. And while you may not agree with it, understanding it will help you build confidence in your ability to engage, rather than attack.

?This idea is executable. It’s not some feel-good, impossible advice—there are actual steps you can take. Start by doing something simple: ask questions instead of making accusations. Tony Robbins says, “Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions.” Ask what led them to that opinion, what experiences shaped their beliefs, and suddenly, you’re in a conversation—not a showdown. You’ll be amazed at how people respond when they feel heard, and you’ll leave the debate with more understanding than frustration.

It’s manageable too. You’re not expected to be some Zen master, peacefully nodding at every controversial opinion you hear. But what if, just once, you resisted the urge to “clap back” and instead asked, “Why do you feel that way?” You don’t have to compromise your beliefs to see someone else as human. You’re simply making the choice to expand your empathy—and with that empathy comes real power. Real human connection leads to real action. Robin Sharma said it best: "When you can see the humanity in everyone, you become unbreakable because you’re operating from a place of true strength."

?Look, disagreement doesn’t have to be a battle of egos. It can be a bridge to better understanding and even deeper relationships. When you disagree with someone and still see their humanity, you shift the entire conversation. As Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If you can make someone feel seen—even in the heat of disagreement—that’s where transformation happens.

?Here’s the action step: next time you’re in a disagreement, make it your mission to be the person who elevates the conversation. Don’t fight to be right; fight to see the human being in front of you. And you’ll find that not only do you leave the conversation feeling stronger, but you’ve also shown a powerful example of what it means to be truly connected in a divided world.

?Now go out there, put this into practice, and watch how it transforms your interactions. Disagreements will happen, but seeing the human behind the opinion? That’s where change starts.