Seeing Beyond Faults

As election season unfolds and our mailboxes fill with campaign ads, each side seems more eager to highlight the other’s faults than their own merits. Some ads are even comedic in their intensity, like when each side claims to be the only true ally of Israel, while casting doubt on the other’s loyalty. This back-and-forth invites an important reflection: Is our reaction to others’ faults actually a reflection of our own character?

Judaism teaches that life is like a mirror, encouraging us to look within when we notice faults in others. So, if we find ourselves thinking poorly of a candidate (or anyone), could it reveal something about ourselves? Rather than casting judgment, we might consider whether these observations are opportunities to grow and refine our own character.

Conversely, If I notice a fault in someone I care about, it may not mean I share that flaw. Instead, I may speak up simply to help them become a better person. But how can we approach this without judgment? The answer lies in “compassionate differentiation”—distinguishing the person from the behavior.

Judgment is easy when someone behaves poorly, but what if our first instinct was compassion? Imagine noticing a problem and, instead of judging, asking how we might support or understand the person better. Circumstances influence behavior, and while they don’t excuse negative actions, they offer context, helping us respond with empathy.

This week’s Torah portion, Noach, shares a story that beautifully illustrates this point. After leaving the ark, Noach gets drunk and acts irresponsibly. His son Ham mocks him, exposing his vulnerability. However, Ham’s brothers, Shem and Japheth, react differently. They cover their father’s nakedness without even looking at him in a disrespectful way. The Torah emphasizes this, with the repetition, “they did not see their father’s nakedness,” teaching us a profound lesson: They acknowledged the issue without judgment. Though aware of the situation, they responded with dignity, as if they hadn’t even seen anything inappropriate.

From this story, we learn that when we encounter faults, it’s not only what we see but how we interpret and speak about it that matters. Let’s aim to practice through this compassionate lens, especially with those close to us.

Shabbat Shalom!